The Construction of Sorrow: No Pain, No Gain

                                                           

I have been working on this ranch for three years now, and lately, I have been digging holes with a pickaxe and shovel.  Setting posts in concrete is fun, even though at 69 years young, it is not as fun as when I was in my twenties. 

With a string line and level to keep things straight and true, the process of this construction began about a month ago.  

Considering the terrain, and the ground not being level, it has been a challenge to construct this chicken coop and free-range for the 12 chickens I have raised since they were baby chicks.  

 “Tweet, tweet.” 

Building anything is not my trade.  

I am a baker, and the hot Texas sun is like an oven to a degree.  

My body is baked, not muffins. 

I say this to make a simple point.  

Sorrow is built from scratch, like this chicken project.  

 

We do not get the luxury of deciding when sorrow will hit us.  Or the intensity of the pain we feel.  

The way it is built, in some ways, is healthy for us. 

We all must deal with sorrow during our lifetime, and it comes in various ways and to different degrees.  

Some instances are easy to deal with where others are grieving and hurtful to the core of our being. 

 

The sudden impact of the loss of a loved one is very challenging and can affect the way we think and react when we are in our storm of sorrow. 

Our responses to these kinds of sorrows vary.  They differ depending on our personality, but many of us just stuff the feelings deep down somewhere in the faraway places of our souls.  

We can ignore it for a season, but it always surfaces and shows its ugly head, usually at the wrong time in our life. 

 

The lifestyle we are in will magnify the issue if we are in an addiction, or fresh out of a divorce or breakup.  

Sorrow is blown out of proportion as we allow it all to be multiplied in our hearts and minds. 

 

2 Corinthians 7: 4-11, declares that “Great is my boldness of speech (Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church) toward you, great is my boasting on your behalf.  I am filled with comfort.  I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation.  For indeed, when we came to Macedonia, our bodies had no rest, but we were troubled on every side.  Outside were conflicts, inside were fears.  Nevertheless God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming, but also by the consolation with which he was comforted in you, when he told us of your earnest desire, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more.” 

Paul went on to declare that even if he had made them sorry with his letter, “I do not regret it.” 

 

 Because he knew that their sorrow would lead to repentance.  

 

Paul is highlighting the fruits of their Godly sorrow, including a renewed sense of diligence, clear-headedness, indignation at sin, fear of repeating it, and a desire for reconciliation with God.  

Only worldly sorrow leads to death, but a Godly sorrow leads to repentance, and salvation. 

 

What does this have to do with the building blocks of constructing sorrow? 

 

We may try and intellectualize and drown our sorrow when it hits.  This defense mechanism is used by reasoning and blocking confrontations.  The unconscious conflict and its associated emotional stress involve removing oneself emotionally and avoiding the reality of a serious problem. 

 

Good sorrow, which is dealt with in God, and His Mercy, will become the foundation of your life, for handling the storms of sorrow which will come. 

 

It is up to us to build upon this “sorrow-concrete” foundation, and not let the rest of the building start, until the concrete has cured.  

Otherwise, it will crack, and the house will come tumbling down.  

 

“Rock or sand, where do you build your life?” 

 

Not all sorrow is bad for us.  

Jeremiah said, “Though God brings grief, He also shows compassion according to the greatness of His unfailing love.  (Multitude of mercies). Lamentations 3;32.  

 

When you are bummed out, go to Lamentations, and you will find if you read through it all, your problems are not as bad. 

First Book of Lamentations is entitled “Jerusalem in Affliction.”  

Second Book is, “God’s Anger with Jerusalem.”   

Third, Fourth and Fifth is, “The Prophet’s Anguish and Hope, the Degradation of Zion,” and finally, “A Prayer for Restoration.” 

 

“Our sorrows are bad, but are they as bad as what happened to Israel?” 

 

The Corinthian Church had grief and sorrow, and it was good because it came from honest self-evaluation, not morbid self-condemnation.  

We can learn to accept our sorrow as part of freedom in Christ, praying that Romans 8: 28, will happen.  

Hoping ALL things, including our sorrows, will work together for the good of our lives.  

They will, if we love God.  

They won’t, if we leave the Lord Jesus Christ out of our pain. 

 

I remember when I was 15 years old.  I was just told by my father that my mama was dying of liver cancer.  I cried, and cried, until I could not cry any longer.  

The tears stopped, then a new anger raged in me.

 

I did not know why I was so mad back then, but I was angry.  

This escalated during the 9 months of her demise.  The cancer, from the day she was diagnosed, until she died, took nine, long, painful months.  She suffered greatly.  

I suffered more, in my mind and heart, because I thought that she gets to die, while I live on in my addiction. 

 

So selfish was this.  I did not know or realize that my sorrows were fueled by bad behavior and shooting drugs into my veins.  I opened the door to this insanity and demonic influence.

 

My construction of sorrow was flawed from the beginning.  

The foundation was made of quicksand, not God’s conciliatory concrete.  

 

A solid foundation to build upon the sorrow I was facing and endured.  

My older siblings survived and moved on with their grief.  

I was in sinking sin, drowning in my depression and anger. 

 

“Where was the Apostle Paul and his kind words he spoke to the Corinthian church?” 

 

I could have cared less about God and the Bible.  

I thought the Bible was something to leave closed on the coffee table.  

 

As far as God, I believed, in my sick and twisted mind, that it was His fault my mom died.  

At least I had something to blame.  

In my heart, it was not the cancer that killed her.  It was her abusive behavior towards me and my siblings that killed her.  

She reaped what she sowed.  

I did not know about this eternal law at 15.  I just knew that if I did enough of the Meth, I could erase my pain for 38 hours at a time.  

That worked for a while, until time caught up with me.  

 

Time was spelled POLICE DEPARTMENT, in my heart. 

 

I got caught alright.  

Handcuffed and stuffed into the back seat of several police cars and paid a heavy price for my addictions and anger.   

 

Not only was my foundation flawed, but it was also non-existent.  

 

 

Spiritual matters in the Wilkins’ home were muted because of living for the world and making money.  

Yes, my daddy was successful as far as the world is concerned.  He died at age 46 from a single gunshot wound to his head.  

My mom was 41 when she succumbed to cancer.  

Both died young, and did not finish their race at all.  

Barely got out of the starting gate, in my opinion. 

 

I had a bunch of regrets, but I do not regret the sorrows I felt then.  

I found out, later in life, that my sorrows would bring an anointing from the Most High God.  

His name is Jesus the Christ, the Anointed One, sent from God.  

He took my pain and turned it into His gain. 

Every time I share from a pulpit in a prison, or in a church in the free world, His Power comes when I preach with tears in my throat.  

 

My pain is relived for a few minutes in my sermon as I talk about my mom and dad.  My throat fills up with tears of happiness when I get to the part about how Jesus saved me while in prison.  

I re-live to re-love.  

I fall in love with Jesus, all over again during the altar invitation when souls come forward to accept His grace.  

 

My pain was someone else's gain.   

 

Yes, it hurts all over again, and I never get used to it.  But I know that if I share my past pain, some poor, lost soul will relate to my anguish, and the Holy Ghost will get them.  

 

“OH, how He gets them.”   

He lures them to an altar, one scripture reference at a time as I preach.  He sinks His pearly white teeth into their heart, not to harm them, but for their heart to begin to heal, as His teeth are a metaphor for His Power to heal the broken hearted and bind up their wounds.  

Psalm 147: 3.  

His teeth turn into a kiss.  

One kiss from His heart to ours begins the foundation of faith.  

 

Now, we can build upon the Rock.

 

 “The solid Rock I stand.  My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ Blood and righteousness.  I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.  On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.” 

 

You and I can avoid the quicksand of insanity.  We can bypass the bear traps of turmoil.  We can stop drowning in our doubts and fears.  

We can rely on Christ, and all that He stands for.  

 

Yes, it takes time.

 

What are the alternatives? 

There are none.  

You can endeavor seeking counseling and pills.  

You can let yourself be diagnosed manic-sad.  

You can talk to a physician and let them convince you that you are terminal.  

Or you can meet the Great Doctor, Jesus, and bypass the surgery all together. 

 

I guess the reality is this.  My pain when I was young was real.  I am not ignoring it at all.  

I am not so super-religious that I ignore pain when it comes.  

I can identify sorrow easily. 

 

We can become so spiritually minded that we are no earthly good to anyone.  

 

No one cares what you believe or who you believe in, when tragedy strikes your heart.  

What they want is answers to their pain.  

I only have one answer for pain.  It is a pain killer over time.  

No prescription is needed.  

No money spent on doctors or pharmacies.  

It is a prescription of love.  From the original One who created love.  

He bore our sorrows on a tree.  

He bled and died, and then rose again from death, so you and I can build a new foundation.  

It is based on His love, and Mercy for us.  

He knows our pain, before it arrives on our doorstep. 

 

Put on your tool belt.  Work boots intact.  Go and build a house.  

It is a dwelling place for Jesus to be in with you.  

 

This construction of sorrow you will build is not in vain. 

 

Remember, no pain, no gain.  

Sorrows will come our way from time to time.  

It is what we do with them that matters.  

 

Give them to Jesus.  He can handle it. 

 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins