Restoration Prison Newsletter November, 2025

Restoration Prison Ministry     November 2025

Dear partners, last evening in Conroe Texas, during a tent revival, we witnessed 400 salvations and so many physical and emotional healings…too many to count.  I had the honor in being part of the salvation team who prayed for the new souls who surrendered to Jesus.  First we get their information…if they let us.. so that the local churches who partner in this tent revival can follow up with them and disciple them.

There were approximately 4000 under the tent and tonight through Wednesday, we expect more and more to come to the altar to receive Jesus as their Savior.

As you know, from my last newsletter regarding the gifts to the men at Ferguson prison, we are giving each man one bar of soap and a Christmas card.  2,300 in total are being ordered thanks to your generous giving.  In fact, one donor paid off the entire balance due in one check we received and we are grateful for all of your continued support.

I will be giving out the gifts on December 7, prior to the two services which will be conducted on that Sunday at Ferguson Unit prison in Midway, Texas.

Following the prison ministry, I will be preaching in a local church in Madisonville, Texas and will appreciate your prayers for many souls to be saved there and healed, set free and delivered.

You, and your prayers and giving, have brought nearly 2,000 souls to the Kingdom of God this year and we are not done yet.  We still have November and December to finish this year in.  

Thanks again for your love for the prisoners in Texas prisons and the ones also in Oregon when I go there in March of 2026.  I will conduct 6 different services in 6 prisons all over the state of Oregon.

May the Lord Jesus bless you and keep you, and may His light of love shine down upon you.

Sincerely, Joe Wilkins evangelist 

From Adversity to Action

This title emphasizes a shift in our hearts from being a victim of hardship and pain, to becoming an empowered agent for positive change in Christ Jesus. 

When we step into action, we will draw on spiritual strength and purpose that is God driven. 

First, we must recognize the adversity as a tool for growth, developing inner resilience through faith in Jesus, and then letting the learning lessons be the fuel towards our forward motion to find His will and His purpose for our lives. 

Yes, He has a specific purpose and plan if we can finally dispose of the negative thinking patterns, attitudes and responses when adversity strikes us.  We all go through trials, some more than others, yet many times there is not any gain without the pains of life. 

This does not discount the ones who love Jesus and are truly born again who suffer more sickness and disease, or personal trials in marriage.  Perhaps the children who were raised in a nurturing, loving, Christian home saw too much negative vibes and actions on the part of the parents.  Parents learned parenting from many different schools.  Especially the school of hard knocks like I went through. 

I spent too many long nights and days twiddling my thumbs, hoping for things to change.  They never did until I fully surrendered my life to God’s will and His way of doing things on my behalf.  Prison time taught me to respect the most valuable commodity I had back then.  Time.  I wasted enough of that on my own, without the influence of demonic strategies. 

Isaiah 41: 10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” 

Not living in fear is the first step and our part to exercise, by our trust in Him through faith.  He will help us not react to fear factors when we grow up in His promises.  I did not learn this or practice this until late into my early 50’s, yet “better late than never.” 

We must know He is with us, and He will never leave us or abandon us in any kind of way, or during all trials and tribulations.  Isaiah continues in that scripture saying, “Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.” 

Two points about this.  One, being dismayed (distressed or feeling consternation.)  (Anxiety and fear of something that happens unexpectedly.)   

Two, “I am your God.” 

If Jesus is not the God of your salvation, you cannot trust that He is there for you and that all things will work out for good to a degree.  

Joseph, Job, and the Apostle Paul are examples of overcomers. 

Even modern figures who have overcome significant challenges, like Horatio Spafford who wrote the hymn, “It is Well with My Soul” after losing his entire family at sea.  This tragedy brought a hymn from his heart.  His broken heart.  

Joseph.  His story exemplifies moving from the adversity of being sold into slavery and imprisonment to a position of leadership and salvation for his family and nation through God’s guidance.  Let us not forget who sold him into slavery and were at fault in doing so.  His brothers did it.  Family.  Blood relatives. 

Job and his trials and perseverance demonstrate enduring faith and how a right attitude in the face of immense suffering can be the seed planted which can lead to restoration and a deeper understanding of God. 

Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” and his response, teach that God’s power is made perfect in human weakness, turning a potential hindrance into an opportunity for God’s Glory.  “When I am weak, then I am strong.”  2nd Corinthians 12: 10. 

Now for my story. 

 I had to turn my adversities into action.  I thought I was doing that.  I did not know Jesus yet, so I was doing everything in my power to overcome.  That did not work. 

I used drugs and drove that needle into my veins daily for 7 years.  Alcohol use and abuse included.   I tried to quit on my own.  That did not work at all.  I did not seek treatment, counseling, or even hospitalization.  I found out later in life that even if I had done all three, I would still not be happy. 

“How so?”  Because being sober is not freedom.  Only Christ can bring true freedom.  Vindication, pardon, and release from the sin and the consequences of that sin.  “Who the Son, sets free is free indeed.”  John 8: 36. 

I have personally known hundreds of addicts over these 40 years of ministry, that are clean and sober.  Clean in regard to not using.  Sober as in not out of their minds from drugs or alcohol. 

My question for all of them was a simple one.  “Are you happy now that you are clean and sober?” 

The answer was almost 100% the same each time I asked them individually and in a group setting.  “Well, at least I am not in a rehab or jail any longer.”  Or “I am glad to not be hungover and vomiting into a toilet while on my knees in the bathroom.” 

They found out later after attending the 12-step meeting that I was conducting in the church, that it boiled down to step 13.  Receive Jesus as your Savior and Lord and your life will have meaning and there will come joy in the morning.  His joy. 

That was not the question that I asked them. I asked them if they were happy with their sobriety.  They were happy with the sobriety but mad at themselves for getting messed up to begin with. 

 Happiness is not found in stopping the sin.  It is found in knowing the One who forgives sin.  Jesus. 

Adversity will drive humans to change.  One way or the other.  Either they will recognize the pain and do something about it, or they will blame someone or something for their pain and heartache. 

Lasting change will only occur by the power of God through repentance, and His grace and mercy applied to our sin-filled lives. 

No more, no less.  It is a simple Gospel that will set us free.  No need to complicate it. 

I allowed myself from the age of 15 through 20 to do everything on my own.  Without a living mother and father, I was independently stupid.  No one is around to guide me or direct me back then. 

I relied on me, myself and I. 

Me stupid.  Myself lonely.  I did it to myself.  My sin drove me to change.  I had to change or die. 

It amazes me that in the preaching of this Gospel of peace, how so many men in prison identify with the truth so quickly and easily.  Maybe out of desperation more than conviction, but they run to the altar many times.  Not a casual walk to repentance. 

 In many free-world churches that I have preached in, it is not so quick for some to repent or bend a knee in prayer and discuss their sin or problems with Jesus.   It is as if they are too concerned about how the people they know, or the ones they invited to church will respond to them under conviction of the Holy Ghost.   

I preach it this way in prison: “If you are concerned about the “homeboy” setting next to you, or the ones in this chapel that may see you go to the altar for prayer, and label you weak; then it is not the Holy Spirit moving on you.” 

When God deals with a human being in their sin, they will respond one way or the other.  Most who are convicted in their hearts move quickly for an answer to their pain.  “Who cares what anyone in the room or even at home would feel and how they may respond to our desperate life that needs change?”  Peer pressure has no power over the Holy Ghost.  

 It is God’s business how He deals with each person under conviction of the Holy Ghost. 

Salvation was not free by the way.  Jesus paid a heavy price and shed all of His Blood for us.  It cost Him his place in Heaven.  Temporarily. 

My sin took me all the way to prison.  This was a good thing.  

 It was not so good when I was 20 headed on that bus to maximum-security prison.  I can look back on my life and see all the crossroads and connections that God made for me to bring me to an end of myself.  ME, MYSELF and I needed help.  Beyond a treatment center or hospital.  I needed a super-natural touch from the One who has the power to change a life.  Jesus turned me upside down, and shook out the debris of sin, and all the pain I endured in my early years.  This “shaking” was a process, not an overnight sensation.  Gentle but thorough by the Lord Jesus. 

He shook me but did not destroy me.  He purged me from myself and my way of doing things. 

Now, at 69, I can say I have learned a few things about the nature of God. 

Experience is the best teacher. 

A man with experience is never at the mercy of a man with only an opinion or an argument.  This common saying suggests that direct experience provides a more concrete and reliable foundation for understanding a situation than a person who only relies on theory or debate. 

A person with experience is not at the mercy of someone with an argument because they have a basis in reality to rely on, rather than just rhetoric. 

So, how do we turn our adversities into proper actions? 

It is not complicated. 

James 1: 2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know (and have experience) that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” 

Romans 5: 3-5, “Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” 

And we know that hope deferred (or put on hold) causes the heart to grow weary (or sick) but when the answer comes it is like a tree of life planted by the water.” 

If during the adversity or trial, we can somehow discipline ourselves and rely on our past experiences in the Lord, and not react but respond properly, there is hope.  It does take fortitude and patience, but this “action” will springboard us to gain more faith in achieving change. 

I know that most Christians know what Romans 8: 28 declares.  I know this about that scripture.  Loving God and being the called according to His purpose is only one element of that piece of scripture.  God uses all things.  Good, bad, and ugly.  He uses up and changes all situations for His Glory.  It is done in bizarre ways at times, yet He keeps on being God, despite how we believe or what we believe in accordance with our interpretation of His Holy Word. 

Trust and obey.  

Trust and obey.  For there’s no other way.  To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.  Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies, but His smile quickly drives it away; not a doubt of a fear, not a sigh or a tear, can abide while we trust and obey. 

What a great hymn by John H. Sammis who wrote this piece.  He was 22 when he converted to Christianity.  He was active in the Y.M.C.A serving as secretary for the Terre Haute Association and later becoming State Secretary.  He also pastored in many churches. 

He wrote over 100 hymns. 

One man.  One life.  He knew adversities too.  He acted in his trials.  He took action. 

If there is only one thing to glean from this writing, please remember this. 

When your next trial or problem happens, you can begin by praying, worshipping and trusting on your knees, by faith, that Jesus will calm your storm. 

Do not look at the situation from eyes of doubt or unbelief.  Once you get over the initial shock from the situation, that is the moment to bow, pray, sing and cry out to Jesus. 

He proved by dying which is His faithfulness to us. 

You don’t have to prove something today.  Jesus is not looking for your actions to speak louder than your words spoken.  He looks at the heart.  Your heart and mine. 

He knows how to fix things.  They may take time and not happen in our specific time periods.   

Your best action is to be proactive.  Prepare.  Plan. Pray.  Do what you know to do which is right, and according to His Word. 

You do your best, and Jesus will do the rest.  He is the One who fills in the gaps when we fall short. 

I would rather take action than give any room for adversity to grow. 

This is not up to you to figure out all the details of what to do.  It is better to know what “not” to do, rather than “to” do at times.  Get quiet before the Lord Jesus and He will speak to you.  It is His still, small voice of love whispering into your ear right now. 

Listen contently, and the contentment you need will live in you. 

Be of good cheer, He has overcome the world. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Whose Fault Is It?

Just know that this message is not about fault finding or blame games.  It is about a more serious matter according to God and His Word. 

Fault finding is more about blame and the complex mix of factors.  In legal and accident contexts, fault is determined by analyzing evidence, actions, and laws.  In personal and professional settings, a focus on learning from mistakes rather than placing blame can lead to better outcomes and growth. 

What is fault?  Not in the sense of the above illustration.  Let us look at what a fault is regarding scripture. 

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avail much.”  James 5:16. 

A fault in a human being and even in Christians is better defined as in a faultline in an upcoming earthquake. 

In the Earth, a line on a rock surface or the ground that traces a geological fault is like a crack in the Earth’s surface where earthquakes occur, or a metaphorical split in a system.  Going from an actual fault line movement in the earth as an earthquake, we see it pertains also in business, organizations and groups of people who have unresolved conflicts in a variety of failures.  Not only in the systems within a business, but in the people.  Human beings can cause conflict, chaos, and failures at times. 

When the pressure in a real earthquake gets to the point that it can no longer handle the pressure, the earth opens up and moves and shakes violently. 

In geology, it’s the visible trace of a fault, which is a fracture where rocks have moved relative to one another.  In a broader sense, it represents a weakness or division, as in a political or social issue. 

Now, on to the scripture in James.  What does it really mean to “confess your faults?” 

Like in that faultline in geology, something must give or move, either on the surface of the Earth, or underground, for the faultline to stop producing that pressure and destruction.   To see the change in the earth's surface and the destruction it causes, we see pictures and videos that have been recorded in history as to the overall destruction of a magnitude 7, as an example, and what it produced. We have visual and seismic evidence of the power of an earthquake. 

What gives way in Christians that causes things to change and move?  First, in the scripture in James, it speaks about “confessing your faults.” 

“Do you and I really understand how difficult it is and how much courage it takes for a man or woman to confess anything, especially their faults?” 

But James speaks to how critical it is to be healed, but first we must come clean with our issues. 

It is not always a sin issue that the confessor is speaking about that they did.  It may be confessing how difficult it is to be in an abusive relationship at home or at work.  It could be a young child trying to speak to the “bullying” they are receiving. 

“Confessing one's faults requires that the Lord Himself has brought you to that place of speaking about and repenting, if necessary, the fault.” 

A fault in a human is about a complex thing called defects, personality disorders, addictions and the like.  It is the underlying crack or faultline that exists in that person waiting for the “right pressure” to come, or the right stressors, and it explodes into an earthquake of confessions.  It can lead to destruction and violence within the “shaking” of that person's ground or safe place they lived in. 

There is no room for blame or for that confession to be to that person's demise.  It is clarified in the Book of James to be a cleansing or healing process of confession. 

Boy, does that word “confession” bring back memories for me as a 9-year-old boy. 

In this church-school I attended in Dallas, Texas back in 1965, the teachers in class were part of the church, and their discipline included hitting the back of my hand with a wooden ruler.  Not too hard, but hard enough to get my attention and for me to stay focused during class.  It did not help me once I got into the church, bruised hands and all. 

I went to the Parishioner and had to sit in a small closet-type room that was dark.  A curtain would be pulled open slightly as I sat on a small bench inside this tiny room.  A silhouette of a man appeared and asked me to confess my faults.  My sins. 

That was not hard to do at age 9.  “Where do I begin?” 

I made my mother mad today.  I did not pay attention in class and got a bruised hand from my teacher.  I thought about and daydreamed in class about playing outside instead of Math.  My list goes on, and on, and on. 

I then had to go back into the church auditorium and kneel on the kneeling bench with a beaded necklace with a Cross.  The symbol of Jesus hanging there in ivory on the necklace I had from school. 

I had to repeat insignificant prayers repeatedly until my penance was complete according to the man in the dark room.  I never felt better after all this prayer and kneeling.  Now my hands hurt and my little knees. 

There were a bunch of rituals followed in this school and church, and it scared the “Hell” out of me to a degree. 

My frustration, and nine-year-old heart had enough. 

On the way out of the church service with my Daddy, Mom, sister and brother, I spit into this fountain of water that was deemed holy water. 

My Daddy was called in on Monday after work by this man of God to tell him that we were no longer able to attend the school or church from that day forward.  It is called excommunication, an official act of excluding someone from participation in the sacraments and services of the Christian Church.  My spitting caused all this.   

I call it my first “fault-finding” episode in life. 

This seemingly innocent act of spitting grew into a deeper faultline inside my soul which manifested later in life at age 18 when I had my first attempted murder charge. 

I call it what it was.  No blaming anyone or finding fault in them.  I deserved my punishment from the church and my parents at home for the spitting. 

I do not blame the church either, as the book of James declares to “confess” your faults to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed or made whole.  The church could have prayed for me, but it didn’t.  

No one prayed for me after spitting into that fountain at home either.  

 I was not whole or healed until Jesus met me in my earthquake later in life. 

 I consider what I did in my violence and addiction to a magnitude 10.  That number did not exist in the history of earthquakes, as far as a real earth-moving episode in geology.  It did however live in the history books of my felony convictions in Dallas County, Texas from 1974-1976. 

The suffering that people go through in life is not always a personal fault.  In John 9:1-12, Jesus clarifies that the man’s blindness was NOT due to his or his parents’ sin, but “so that the works of God might be displayed in him”. 

Like in this story in John 9, I needed Jesus to spit into His hand and make mud from the dirt and rub my blind eyes so I could see.  Not physically as in this passage, but in my heart, I was blinded by sin. 

“Whose fault, is it?”  It was all mine.  I sinned as a 9-year-old, and it grew into bigger sins as I got older.  I do not blame, nor did I blame my parents for the non-Christian home we lived in.   

That church school and church building and the services offered to us as a family never lived out in our home.  The teachings in church and kneeling and praying were just a facade for my family.  Living one thing on Sunday and acting like the Devil on Monday through Saturday.  It was not horrible every day, but it was obvious that my family was not adhering to the truth, trying to be taught on Sundays. 

Are some people, even Christians, live with a victim mentality?  In other words, is everything that happens to them, somebody else’s fault?  The reason they have problems that they have is somebody else’s doing, not theirs.  This is true for little children growing up in a horrible home environment.  It is a fact that we can become a product of our own environment.   

I have known too many prisoners in prison telling me the stories of how they grew up being taught how to put a dirty needle in their veins in their arms and shooting dope by their parents.  “Now, do it like Daddy does, okay?  Don’t miss the vein and waste Daddys expensive Meth.  Shoot it like I taught you and take your time, okay?” 

Horrible way to grow up.  No wonder they ended up in prison.  “The blame game?”  No, it is a fact that until Jesus shows up, men in prison, like I was at age 20, have a history of things gone wrong in the home growing up.  However, when we get saved by Jesus, the blaming stops, or we will always have a victim mentality attached to our Christianity. 

One man in the prison in Oregon I preached in last year, told me his horror story. 

As a father of two small boys, he would sit in a chair with his wife nearby watching and his two boys sitting in separate chairs.  The family had to watch him shoot drugs, and if they talked, or said a word, or even showed any body language he did not like, he would beat them.  That was his story, being lived out just the way he was taught as a little boy. 

His sin was being repeated by himself, and he was showing his young sons that violent “fault” in his life, and they could end up like him. 

His story went on, as he showed me a letter he had in his hand after I preached. 

With tears streaming down his 48-year-old face, he said, “Joe, this letter in my hand is from my boys I abused.  This is why I am in prison, Joe.  Then he asked me to read the portion he wanted me to read out loud at his crying request.  So, I read one paragraph out loud. 

Dear Daddy, it has been 20 years since you went to prison.  My brother and I want you to know that we forgive you and did forgive you when we were 9 and 10 at the time you left for your long sentence.  We love you and want to come to visit you in prison.  It took us a long time to find you, but we believe God is wanting to put us back together.  Danny is 29 now and I am 30 and we want to make up for the lost time that you have been away.  We love you, Daddy, and please write back to us.  Your sons, Danny and David.” 

“Wow.” I wept with this inmate that day at the Deer Ridge Correctional Facility in Madras, Oregon.  He had come to the altar and re-affirmed his commitment to Christ after my preaching.  His courage and fortitude to “confess” to me his “faults” and share that letter I read out loud, brought what the scripture that James promised.   

The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avail much.  It was not my preaching or my prayers at that altar that brought the promise.  It was that man’s willingness to confess all his junk and release it to God through his true repentance. 

The miracle had already happened prior to his coming to church that evening. 

He had the letter from his sons in his hand, apparently all during that service.  He just wanted to be able to release his burden to the “burden-breaking Savior named Jesus. 

It took more than courage and fortitude on his part.  His earthquake had already happened 20 years ago in front of his family.  It destroyed everything around him that awful day, and years that he used drugs in front of his family.  His regrets were deep as the faultlines underground in an earthquake.  It erupted and destroyed his home and his family back then.   

Yet Jesus decided to intervene and cause his sons; grown men now, to write him a letter and reconcile to their Daddy.  Forgiveness was flowing through this man as he wept on my shoulder after I read that letter. 

He asked me, “Joe, please pray that when I see my two sons soon, that they will see the change in me.”  He confessed his faults by allowing me to read his personal letter from his sons.  I prayed for him, and the healing process was evident in his tears and smile afterward.  Like a real earthquake, there is damage and loss of life. 

California experienced several significant and severe earthquakes in the 1990’s, most notably the 1994 Northridge earthquake.  This quake, which caused considerable damage and loss of life, was one of the worst in California history.  Northridge was a magnitude 6.7 and it struck the densely populated San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles early in the morning.  It was one of the costliest natural disasters in US history, causing an estimated 20 billion dollars in property damage and over 40 billion dollars in economic losses.  Freeway overpasses and apartment complexes collapsed, and 72 people died overall. 

God allowed one man to take responsibility for his crimes that day in that Oregon prison. 

No blaming came from his lips that day.  No fault-finding except him revealing all of the damage was truly his fault at that time 20 years ago. 

I pray that you and I, as believers in Jesus Christ can come to an end of our faultlines.  My prayer is that the underlying pains, heartaches, and traumas will cease. 

And like in a real, geological fault, the stones will find their place securely and never move again. 

I know one stone that was removed and never used again.  It was the stone rolled away, revealing that Jesus was no longer in the tomb. 

So, whose fault is it that Jesus died?  Was it the Roman soldier who drove the nails into his body? 

No, it was mankind's sin that put him on the Cross on that hill called Golgotha. 

Sin.  My sin and yours.  We have all sinned and fallen short of God’s Glory. 

We may have fallen short and fallen down.  We must get up, and try again, and let God rebuild our lives.  Faultlines.  We all have them. 

James 4:11, “Do not speak evil of one another, brethren.  He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law.  But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.” 

Blaming and judging and finding fault are a disease that does not show up on the body, but in the body. 

Two boys and a Daddy.  Two sons who did not turn out like their Daddy in prison.  The cycle of addiction and injury was broken.  Jesus taught those two boys after their Daddy went to prison to forgive and forget. 

We are not judges.  We are not in a courtroom with a jury deciding our fate. 

We may be guilty as charged in our sin, but the one who will never find fault with you when you repent is the ultimate judge. 

His name is Jesus.  He is the Rock.  A firm foundation.  No faultlines in Him.  No earthquakes are waiting to happen when we stand on Him.  Be assured of His love.  No fault there.  Can’t find anything in Him except His love for you. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Your Breaking Point

God never wastes our pain.  He uses everything in our lives.  Good, Bad and Ugly. 

Everything is allowed for His sovereign purposes.  And when we are at a Breaking Point, it may be that He wants this situation to become your Blessing.  A point of contact by Him. 

Every person has their own personal breaking point.  It depends on the trial, disappointment, or trauma.  Without Christ in your heart, it is very difficult and near impossible to survive your heartache without His touch and His forgiveness and His mercy upon your life.  He says in His Word that: “I am near to those with a broken heart, and I save those who are crushed in spirit.”  Psalms 34:18.  

Let's not stop there. 

Psalms 34:19-22, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.  He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken.  Evil shall slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous shall be condemned.  The Lord redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned.” 

This does not alleviate, or make less severe, the trials or heartaches.  It does however give us hope that He is with us in our sufferings, and He will make a way of escaping from our pain in His timing.  That way ultimately means that He is in us to perfect us into His Image, and our pain does subside with knowing He will never leave us abandoned. 

One way to know this is true is how God’s Heart is for us not against us.  God wants to bless Jacob, and he wants to bless His people today.  He brings us to Jabbok (the river in the Middle East and a significant biblical event where the patriarch Jacob wrestled with an angel, leading to his new name, Israel.)   

It is not to crush us, but to bless us.  But sometimes, the blessings come only after prayer.  Deep, longsuffering prayer with tears. 

Though Jacob was left with a limp from the struggle, a physical reminder of his encounter and his newfound relationship with God.  This spiritual symbolism is showing in the event of Jacob’s struggle, is often interpreted as a metaphor for surrendering all of oneself to God and ultimately “prevailing with God.” 

It is like a crossroad or intersection in life which makes us turn one way or the other. 

I know all about turning the wrong way and ending up on a dead-end street called maximum-security prison. 

Like Jacob in a way, I fought and battled with God in my mind and heart.  I screamed at Him from the cemetery where Mom and Daddy were buried.  I screamed at Him in 1971 while all alone, standing on my mother’s grave.  I was standing in a rainstorm on October 5, 1971, when I was 15 years old.  Addicted to drugs that day, my LSD mind and bloodstream full of that drug, made me curse God out loud.  I screamed at Him, “This is all your fault.” 

It was my broken heart that screamed into a void.  That void was not a void at all.  He heard me loud and clear.  Yet, He still loved me. 

The same thing happened when my Daddy was laid to rest next to Mom.  The year was 1974, just three years after Mom was buried.  I was not alone that day.  My entire family was there as I was stoned on Meth and cursed out loud many times.  Mainly under my breath, I cursed God with four letter words, and I hated a God I had not met yet. 

Obviously, it was not God’s fault, but I blamed Him anyway because my world was turned upside down. 

God will humble us.  If His blessing is only available to us when we pray, then God brings us to our own personal “Jabbok” (that river of decision.)  My personal humiliation was turned into humility by God.  I had to climb Jacob’s ladder to find Jesus. 

In Genesis 32, Jacob, while fleeing his brother Esau, stops to rest and has a dream where God speaks to him, renewing the covenant with Abraham and Isaac.  God promises to give Jacob’s descendants the land, multiplying them like the dust of the earth, and bless and to bless all the families of the earth through them.  Upon waking, Jacob is awestruck, calls the place “the house of God,” and anoints the stone he slept on as a sacred marker. 

Jacob was fleeing because Esau wanted to kill him for deceiving him to get their father’s blessing. 

That ladder in the dream, Jacob’s ladder, was a stairway set up on the earth, reaching Heaven, with angels moving up and down on it.  The Lord stands above the ladder and speaks to Jacob, identifying Himself as the God of Abraham and Issac. 

What a promise from God. 

You and I will not “really” pray until we are at our “breaking point.”  What does your breaking point look like today?  Are you there yet?  Do you know at all that you are breaking up inside your soul?  Only you know. 

I would think that no one would have to go through what I went through as a child.  Heartache, abuse, drug addiction, insanity, and prison time.  Sickness and disease brought on by sticking a needle in my veins until they finally collapsed, and infection oozed out from them.  Hepatitis C disease.  Asthma too. These disease-related results of smoking are more than just smoking cigarettes or Marijuana. Many times, the Marijuana was laced with other mind-altering drugs.    

I breathed paint fumes on purpose by spraying a rag full of gold-colored acrylic paint, dropping the soaked rag into a paper sack.  I put the sack tightly over my face, except for my eyes, and made sure that I breathed the fumes until I passed out.  Killing brain cells that would never rejuvenate.  According to science.  All I could remember before passing out was the sound in my ears of what seemed like “crickets” rubbing their feet together.  That sound would intensify and get louder prior to blacking out. 

Not even this would become my breaking point. 

Damaged in my mind and brain, I continued this behavior from the time Mom got sick, until I went to prison.  Six, almost seven full years of non-stop addiction.  Daily.  Never missed this cycle of madness.  It is a wonder I can think at all with all of the damage I did to my body and soul. 

Only Jesus could heal me.  And He did in time. 

He was, and still is, near to the broken heart.  Your broken heart is near Him too.  Psalm 147: 3, “I have come to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.” 

He saw my “crushed” spirit.  My self-inflicted wounds.  Yet even though I cursed His name back then, He had a plan to climb that ladder down to meet me.  I was not looking for Him when I met Him.  I was not on His ladder.  The ladder I was climbing was going nowhere.   

He met me.  He knew me.  He wanted me to know Him, fully.  I do understand now.  It cost me some pain.  Too much at times, but I know this: “He is a God who shows up.” 

We finally learn to pray diligently when God allows the “stripping” of those things that do not please Him.  It is called sin.  Our strength must be stripped, too.  All our resources, connections to other people, and schemes must be eliminated to know He is there for us. 

He will humble us, if we surrender to Him fully. 

When we get to that breaking point, and when we learn to truly pray with sincerity of heart, He pours His blessings upon us.  They come in various ways. 

One is having your right mind.  I needed a new brain and mind after all those years of addiction.  He healed my mind and heart.  I have a great memory now at 69 years old.  Blessings come in another way.  We woke up in the morning.  No preconceived ideas or needs.  No desires need to be fulfilled.  We just wake up with Jesus on our mind. 

What He did on HIS CROSS for us.  That is enough.  Yes, we have needs, but I am simply saying that it is not about what He does for us in regard to blessings.  It is more about how we can grow closer to Him without trying to be blessed. 

We are His children, and He desires to be there for us daily.  It is His nature to love and bless our lives. 

The man or woman who meets with God may have a limp in their walk like Jacob did.  There may be pain, a handicap, a weakness in your life that reminds you of your need for God.  It is not a shame, for the man or woman of God to walk with a hinderance.   

God did not bring Jacob to the Breaking Point to harm him.  God desired to bless Jacob. 

Jesus Christ may be leading you to your own breaking point, so that it will ultimately become your Blessing Point. 

Like an earthquake getting ready to erupt.  Fault lines are happening prior to the big shift in the underground plates of rock. 

Marriages feel the fault lines that are shaking prior to divorce.  People can feel socially disconnected, because they’re not meeting up with those; they call friends, like they used to. 

They have no desire to meet even their relatives living overseas because flights are very controlled right now.  Not to mention their fear of flying. 

Some believers in Jesus struggle mentally and emotionally too.  Remember, Covid? 

These trials back then and the current ones you are going through seem to take the air out of the room of your hearts. 

Rightly so, but is that your breaking point? 

Like Jacob, maybe we are smart enough to cut our losses.  Jacob decided to split his camp into two camps.  He decided to split it into two parts, so that if Esau comes against one, at least the other survives.  And now he begins to pray, hoping to find the humility needed to understand God and His plan for him. 

You and I cannot split our lives into two parts hoping if one part fails, there is a default life to lean back upon.  Life does not work this way.  We are not computers or cookie-cutter Christians.  We must be who we are.  In Christ preferably.  

Not who we were, going back to the defaults we used to cope with during our bad years.  Sin years. 

Your prayers today that are “anchored” in the promises of God, like Jacob prayed is what works.  Humble hearts.  No pride.  No hidden amorous.  Those strong feelings of love, especially romantic love, can be our downfall.  Just fall in love with Jesus and let Him bring the desires of your heart to pass.  You can choose to do it your way.  Like me, if my way worked back in my early years, I would not have ended up in prison.  

Do not let your personal “prison” you live in, be a life sentence.  Get paroled and pardoned now, by letting that humble spirit Jacob finally had, be your barometer to reaching the Lord and His will for your life.   

Our sacrifice of Praise to Jesus is a good starting place in finding our “breaking point.”  

We are not “Humpty-Dumpty” sitting on a wall.  This whimsical, egg-shaped character with arms and legs, often wearing a hat and sometimes a cane, is not who we should act like. 

We do not have to be shot off the wall and broken into pieces, waiting for someone to put us back together again. 

We are not part of the “London Bridge” that is falling down, nor a “rock-a-bye-baby in a treetop.  “Who put that baby atop that tree anyway?” 

Are we going around a Mulberry Bush?  Wash your face and brush your hair.  That helps bring good hygiene, but not humility. 

What about the “three blind mice.”  They got their tails cut off by a farmer’s wife with a carving knife.  They shouldn't have ran after that woman to begin with. 

Life is not a nursery rhyme. 

If “now I lay me down to sleep, the Lord I pray my soul to keep, and if I die before I wake, I pray my soul the Lord to keep?”  If that is your stance on the breaking point, then let me correct that thinking for you. 

You do not need to worry about who keeps your soul if you love Jesus and He lives in your heart. 

God is not trying to break you.  He is trying to mend you and your own brokenness. 

He is a God of Restoration and a God who rebuilds a life.  Your life.  No matter what your condition is right now.  He will take you to His Potter’s Wheel, and mold you into His Vessel of Honor.  Let him.  Embrace His wheel.   

Not the “wheel on the bus that goes round and round.” 

If the “people on the bus go up and down too, then perhaps they should have buckled up.” 

Buckle up with Jesus.  Your breaking point is your turning point in time.  Embrace it.  It is never too late to be built again.  He is the Master Builder.  He has all the right tools to build your house.  When He is done building, you can live in it forever.  

 With Him. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Ignorance is Not Bliss

I do not watch the news or look at it online very often.  Only when it is a serious matter to pray about.  Of course, all serious things in the world are serious to those who suffer or who are at the wrong end of a situation.  Especially war, famine or disaster. 

So much of the news may or may not be true, and it is depressing to look at or read for the most part.  I feel better off not knowing about all of it which could be why the saying of, “Ignorance is Bliss” may fit that situation. 

Dictionary descriptions define this saying as: “It is better to remain unaware or ignorant of things that may otherwise cause us stress; if you don’t know about something, you don’t need to worry about it.” 

“What you may not know won’t hurt you?”  This is not always true. 

God does require us to be smart and know His Word for sure.  He also wants us to be aware of what is happening beyond our own backyard sitting on our deck.  Reminds me of a comedian who said, “Back when I was a boy, my Daddy and my brothers and sisters used to sit on the front porch after dinner and debate whether it was going to rain or not.”  We wanted it to rain so we could make mud pies. 

As kids, we could care less about the weather, but we listened to our Daddy debate this issue with himself for what seemed like hours.  Front porch dwellers.   

The good thing about being on the front porch was that you could see who was in the neighborhood who may not belong there as they strolled by your front porch headed down the road.  You can’t see the potential thieves from a backyard deck.   

This is long before neighborhood watch groups.  You could leave your front door unlocked at night, but not now.  Need 5 dead-bolts and a German Shepherd dog sleeping on a rug by the front door inside your house in the days we currently live in.  Loaded pistol by your bed in the nightstand drawer too. 

None of us today need any additional stress or anything more to worry about, but to be ignorant or uninformed about the issues of the day is not wise.  It is important to be well-versed and well-informed.  Primarily in God and His Word. 

James 3:13, “Who among you is wise and intelligent?  Let him by his good conduct show his good deeds with the gentleness and humility of true wisdom.” 

Versus 14-18, “But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.  This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, and demonic.  For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.  But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.  Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” 

Can’t be a bridge builder or a peacemaker if we are not paying attention to things around us.  Like an ostrich with its head buried in the sand.  They can’t see, hear or sense anything around them. 

The main contrasts in these scriptures are that earthly wisdom is driven by jealousy and selfish ambition, which leads to chaos and evil, and heavenly wisdom, which is pure and peaceable produces good works and righteousness.  It is not about worldly success or cleverness, but about a life characterized by humility, mercy, sincerity, and a commitment to making peace.  Godly wisdom is best shown through our actions. 

Ignorance is “not” bliss.  Bliss defined as supreme happiness, perfect joy, or utter contentment.  It is used to exclaim a state of perfect elation like “wedding bliss” or relaxation during a vacation.  (I can’t see bliss waiting in line with young children for two hours to ride a rollercoaster at a theme park which the ride only lasted 1- or 2-minutes tops.) 

Spiritual bliss can refer to our close relationship with Jesus Christ which can bring ecstatic joy from Heaven with serenity and contentment.  Not in ourselves, but the Christ living in us brings the joy and peace.  Even in the worst of times, He is there with us. 

Paul the Apostle had a situation which challenged his Roman citizenship.  He did not bury his head in the sand.  He did go through some things though. 

Acts 22: 24-30, “the commander ordered him (Paul) to be brought into the barracks, and said that he should be examined under scourging, so that he might know why they shouted so against him.  And as they bound him with thongs, Paul said to the centurion who stood by, “Is it lawful for you to scourge a man who is a Roman, and uncondemned?”  When the centurion heard that, he went and told the commander, saying, “Take care what you do, for this man is a Roman.”  Then the commander answered, “With a large sum I obtained this citizenship.”  And Paul said, “But I was born a citizen.”  

Then immediately those who were about to examine him (whipping) withdrew from him; and the commander was also afraid after he found out that he was a Roman, and because he had bound him.” 

The crowd of hostile Jews do not want to hear Paul’s testimony anymore.  They interrupted him and threatened him, calling for his death. 

“Do we really think we can live this Christian life without having trials or challenges from people?”   

Our ignorance, not of God’s Word, but of our stupidity in thinking we can just row along the river of life with no waves hitting our rowboat, can be our demise spiritually. 

I get challenged weekly when I preach in this prison in Hondo, Texas. 

It is a ministry to the “faith-based” dorms.  Meaning, that the men who have deserved to be in this housing unit have faith.  The problem is that many believe in different Gods.  Not Jesus the Christ. 

My battle weekly is a spiritual battle.  I must be girded up in my spiritual loins, producing good things from my mouth regarding God’s Holy Word.  No compromise.  Just the simplicity of the truth in His Word. 

I had an inmate come up to me as I left last week to say this: “Hey Joe, please do not be offended that I do not come up for prayer, okay?  It is because I do not believe the way you preach, so I abstain from you praying for me for personal reasons.” 

Spiritual battle?  Of course.  I expect this as I know not every man I preach and teach the Word of God is a Christian.  I know this “faith-based dorm” is filled with some Christians, but mostly Buddhists, Agnostics, Jehovah Witnesses, and many other religions such as Moorish Science, Mormonism, and Rastafarianism.  This last religion is more of a “way of life” than a religion to those who follow this lie.  It is a modern, monotheistic religion with roots in Judaism and Christianity that developed in Jamaica in the 1930’s.  “Yes, I called it a lie, because it is a lie from Satan.” 

My response to this man who purposed to corner me as I left was simple.  I said, “Well sir, I respect you and I will continue to pray for you even if you never come to the altar for prayer.”  He respected that, rather than me debating him on the truth about Jesus.  Fact is, he sets under my teaching “hearing” God’s Word weekly.  It will never come back void, and my prayer is that he will receive Christ as Savior before the class is finished before December of this year. 

It is the Holy Spirit who convinces, convicts one of sin, and converts them.  He then, will control their lives once they are truly born again in Christ. 

I am just a messenger with a message.  Ignorance is not bliss when you have had an encounter with God.  Your “so-called” ignorance of the truth is simply blindness, not stupidity.  Your eyes have been darkened by the enemy of your soul until Jesus reveals Himself to us. 

The fact that I am willing to go into the lion's den weekly to present the Gospel of Jesus Christ is in a little way a “scourging” of sorts to my soul.  It is taxing under the anointing of the Holy Ghost to present Jesus to those who live in darkness.  I am not afraid, but I can honestly say that I am spent in my spirit and soul and even in my body when I leave this prison every Tuesday.  It is not because Jesus is weak in me.  It is because I am fighting a battle in this prison.  The scourging I speak of is about men who ignore to a degree the truth.  I feel the “whip” upon my spiritual back as the whip hits me.   I can feel the audience of felons resisting in the spiritual realm, until the altar invitation arrives at the end.  Last week some 30 plus men came forward and received Christ as their personal Savior.  Not because of me, but because of His Word being taught truthfully.  The bliss came for me as I drove home.  Knowing His peace and His love surrounded me in my truck.  I know in my heart I pleased the King of Kings, Jesus. 

Ignorance is “NOT” bliss for anyone who understands counting the costs in serving Jesus Christ.  We know that our mandate is not easy.  Never was it intended to be that way for Paul, Timothy, Peter and the rest of His followers.  Jesus never demands perfection.  He demands obedience.  I would rather submit to Him and then keep my head out of the sands of this life, not ignoring the things around me as if to say, “I do not care.” We should care. 

I care because Jesus cares.  He not only cares.  He loves us by caring to carry His Cross up the hill to Golgotha and die for us. 

Men in prison would rather see a sermon than hear one any day.  They see my sermon more than just hearing it.  They see it more than they feel it too.  “How do they see it?” 

Jesus said, “I was naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you visited me; I was in prison, and you came to me.” 

I come to these men every Tuesday.  I come for one reason, and one reason only.  Hopefully they will receive what I received while I was in prison in 1977.  Only the good shall they receive.  Not the things my sin created which were received by punishment for my sins.  I received time, which was handed down to me by a judge in a courtroom in Dallas, Texas.  I received pain from the cotton I had to pick with chains between my ankles in the vast fields of cotton at Ferguson prison in Midway, Texas. 

I received fear from all the horrible things I witnessed in prison. 

The most important thing I have ever received was a gift.  Not a free gift.  It was the gift of life through receiving Jesus as my Savior while I was in prison.  He visited me.  He came to me when I needed Him the most. 

I have bliss from Jesus Himself.  Every time I mention His name, I am less ignorant of His truths found in the Holy Bible.  Thank God. 

Do yourself a favor.  Let Jesus visit you today.  Receive His love, mercy, and forgiveness. 

When you do, you will never take for granted what the world may be doing around you.  You will be a light in the midst of this dark world we live in. Embrace His call on your life.  He will use your life in Him. 

My prayer is that HE uses you up.  Fully.  When He is done using us up, then we will be in His presence forever more. 

“For those who call upon the Name of the Lord, will be saved.”  Romans 10:13.   

Pick up your spiritual phone and dial his number.  He is never too busy to answer your call.  He will not put you on hold or leave you an auto-message.  He is there for you.  Dial Him up.  Jesus is on the Main-Line.  Call Him.  He is waiting for your call. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Man O’ War or Man of War

The Portuguese Man O’ War is not a single animal but a colony of four specialized organisms called a siphonophore.  It is a highly venomous marine predator found in tropical and temperate oceans worldwide.  

Its most recognizable feature is a gas-filled float that resembles a sail, which allows it to drift on the surface, while long, stinging tentacles hang below to capture prey. 

This predator has defense mechanisms but is also very offensive when it comes to the need to eat.  Resembling a jellyfish in some ways, it has up to 100 feet of tentacles, hanging underneath it as it floats on the top of the water’s surface. 

It can deliver a powerful sting, yet not normally deadly to humans.  “I am glad of that, but I do not swim in the ocean.” 

Men, on the other hand, have defense mechanisms too which can be deadly as far as the way they speak to people.  Screaming at your wife never makes for peace in the home. 

Let us talk about men and their vulnerabilities in the area of the sad facts about some men.  Not all men, especially men of War.   

Most men are expected to “stay strong” even when they’re breaking apart inside their soul. 

Many men suffer in silence because society often discourages them from showing emotion.  This is a fact in the prisons I preach in. Any signs of emotion, especially tears, can result in being labeled weak.  That can be deadly inside a maximum-security prison like the one I lived in during 1976-1977 in Texas. 

Men are less likely to seek help for mental health struggles due to fear of being judged or labeled.  Again, labeled weak or frail.  They become prey for the stronger men in prison and are “stinged” by tentacles that reach them via several species of a man o’ war like that Portuguese predator.  I know all about the predatory skills of psychotic men in prison. 

A lot of men feel unloved unless they provide or perform.  Some men grow up without ever hearing, “I am proud of you son.”  I ought to know.  It only happened once to me by my Daddy the day before he was murdered.   

This is why I purposely say to men in prison or out of prison when I minister the Gospel, that “God is proud of you, or I am proud of you for your commitment to Christ at the altar.”  I feel their pain many times as they lean their tear-filled faces upon my shoulder and weep like a little boy.  Sometimes for several minutes as the Lord Jesus is healing their broken hearts. 

Men face pressure to be a good provider, even when they’re struggling to do so. 

I will tell a story soon about my struggle in this area. 

Men also crave affection but sometimes rarely receive it from those who say they love him.  Society often overlooks men’s pain, labeling them weak if they speak up about their pain and struggles. 

Many men feel alone, even when surrounded by a crowd of their peers or even in their own homes.  It is called, “being alone in the midst of a crowd.”  A sermon I have preached many times. 

It seems that I am spending too much time on this negative part of men, yet I must clarify some things.  Societal norms discourage emotional expression for the traditional masculine ideals which can cause men to suppress emotions like sadness and can lead them to feel that they must appear “strong” and “in control.”  This can lead to shame, social isolation, and an inability to deal with feelings in a healthy way. 

I will share my experience which speaks to many of the before-mentioned weaknesses. 

Going to prison at age 20 brought many emotions to me.  I was a violent drug addicted felon, yet I had a broken heart from all of my childhood traumas. 

In the Dallas County Jail, prior to going to prison, I had to learn to toughen-up or become a victim of all the insane games played in jail.  Prison is a whole new environment compared to the County Jail.  In the jail environment you have petty thieves, burglars, car thieves, and the like.  I was in the same holding tank as these minor offenders.  Along with me, there were also ones like me.  I was in jail for attempted murder and 5 other aggravated charges.  Therefore, I was deemed a “strong-arm” because of my conviction for violence. 

This fish tank of various species, and their crimes, were a bit easier to survive assaults due to the fact of such close quarters.  The entire tank that I was living in prior to prison was approximately 25 feet wide and 30 feet deep.  There was a small day room attached to the cells.  Maximum capacity was around thirty men.  However, during the Christmas Holiday, we suffered through over-crowding with men sleeping on the floor of the day room making the overall count upwards to 55 men.  Horrible conditions.  Not much room for fist-fighting. 

Prison, on the other hand, had many places to fight, kill and rape men. 

I toughened up alright.  I had to live and not die.  Especially once I arrived in a prison which held 2,300 men. 

That was then, and this is now. 

In 2010 I lived in poverty.  Not because I was not working hard.  I was.  It was such a lean time for me, my wife and my two young sons.  This “ramen noodle” era that I like to call it, was difficult. 

Daddy worked hard, but no matter how hard I tried, I just could not make enough to support my family in the way they needed it.   

Enter shame and guilt.  I felt it, and lived in it, without saying a word to my family.  They could see I was tired.  They could tell I was worn out with the work I was doing in construction at 55 years old. 

They prayed for me and loved me despite my efforts or lack of making enough money to fix teeth and eat good. 

Enter the “man of war.”  My hidden pains did several good things in my suffering.  I learned to fight in prayer on my knees.  A different war that men (and women) fight, without going overseas with a rifle to battle a real enemy. 

Isaiah 40:29, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. 

I needed several, divine moments from Jesus to keep going.  This period lasted for 11 years. Poverty, as far as the world estimates the poverty level, showed me earning less than $12,000 a year.  That was the most I earned all the way to 2021. 

Jesus gave me power.  His power.  His grace, and His mercy through these lean times. 

2 Corinthians 12: 9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore, I will boast even more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 

Well, I did not boast in my suffering, but Jesus showed up and helped me all the way through.  Psalm 27: 7, “the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts Him and He helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.” 

I certainly did not sing much, but my heart was filled with His presence.  Despite what the former dialogue I spoke about regarding “Sad Facts” in men, Jesus shows up right on time. 

My suffering years with my family kept me praying.  I prayed more then, and even now that I am no longer in that station in this life, I pray.  I pray with more thanksgiving in my heart than I ever have.  Not because God changed.  I changed.  He changed me.  His love and mercy were granted to me in the middle of my storms in life. 

In fact, He rescued me while in prison even though I had not surrendered to Him yet.  This is the grace of God for me, and for you if you will cry out to Him. 

Just because statistics say women outlive men in this world does not prove anything to me.  I am going to live as long as Jesus wants me to keep preaching to “MEN” in prisons. 

“What is a Man of War?” 

It is a man who bows down to no one.  He lets his actions speak louder than his words.  He does not repay evil for evil.  He learns to be slow to speak and not quick to strike out. 

He endeavors to be patient and kind rather than the opposite. 

He loves the unlovely.  He weeps with those who weep.  Especially in prison.  Every week I am in prison, around 50 miles from our home.  Explaining to these men who, like me, deserved to be there.  They may have a number instead of a name, but Jesus knows their name, their birthright, and their hearts.  My job in the Lord is to explain His Word to them and let them know they are loved.  Just showing up to be with them for two hours speaks volumes to many of these incarcerated felons.  Jesus sees potential.  And so, do I. 

A man of war is a man who never retreats in battle.  He is never labeled “chicken or traitor.” 

He fights.  He does not always win the battle, but he will win the ultimate war to keep him from being labeled a son of perdition.  Men of war who love Jesus, will never enter or be doomed to eternal destruction like Judas.  (John 17:12.) 

He is not a man of lawlessness like the Antichrist.  (2nd Thessalonians 2: 3).  I may have fought the law in my twenties and found out that they always win, but I never went back to prison because Jesus Christ changed me.  Completely. 

I want to keep my allegiance to God and His plan for my life.  The plan of Salvation versus the plan of destruction. 

A man of war knows the outcome of the battle before it perches on his porch and affects his entire family. 

He must fight it off in prayer before it infects the ones he loves.  Seems like a bunch of responsibility for a man.  It is.  It was designed by God to be a heavy cross to bear.  The alternative is to just go along for the ride and be like the world.  Corrupt and dying.   

Count the costs to be a Christian.  A Christ follower.  He will never allow too much to come upon you that He won’t make a way of escape.  Not just in temptations, but in trials.  You will overcome even though your pain seems too much to bear. 

Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  I feel like I have had my share of troubles in the 69 years of life.  I am not discounted or protected fully from trials.  Fact is, He rescued me and protected me long before I was saved by Jesus. 

Now, He is ever-present with me.  Carrying the load and fighting my battles for me at times. 

So, “MAN OF WAR?” 

What say you?  I despise these sayings.  Included are: “At the end of the day.” 

Well, at the end of your life and mine, what shall we say?  Real men don’t cry?  I cry. 

Are you living large and strong when you do not have the strength to? 

Are you and I having a bout of the blues?  Especially in reaction to losses, setbacks, and disappointments? 

If so, look to Jesus and remember what he went through for us.  He suffered more in 33 years than we will ever suffer in perhaps 77 years on average in this life. 

 Perspective.  We are not dying to save anyone like Jesus did.  He does not want you to die but to live for Him and love Him the best you know how. 

I have shared a few of the real-life episodes I have endured.  You have your own story to tell.  Here is a fact of life for you, and for me. 

Either you start your story in writing one of two ways. 

One: “A long time ago, it was a dark and stormy night, in a land far away. The waves of the ocean billowed and crashed against my boat.  The lightning struck and the thunder roared.” 

Two: “A while back, things seemed difficult and my dreams were like a ship in the ocean.  Yes, it did rain and the lightning was bright, and the thunder was loud.  But during my storm, I met Jesus and He calmed the storm in my life.  He is there for me.  He will never leave me or forsake me.” 

Either way you start your story, it is okay.  The main thing is that your story ends right. 

You and I are not a venomous, marine creature.  We are not predators nor are we prey for the villains in life and the devils from hell that are trying to steal and kill and destroy your life.  We can be men and women of God. 

Men?  You are and will be a man of war.  Just remember to fight your battles on your knees in prayer. 

I am determined to pray.  I’d rather talk to Jesus.  It is better to pray than to “be” prey. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Daddy’s Little Boys- “No Matter What”

I have an old saying that my two sons remember me saying as they grew up.  “If you keep feeding them, they keep growing up.” 

Boy, do I remember when my sons were born.  They are only fourteen months apart, but I recall the moment both were born. 

I held my first born in my arms and fed him formula with a tiny thimble-sized cup.  I held his neck and head with my left hand and cradled him in my lap as he drank the formula as if he had done it before.  A natural. 

My second son had different skills and a very unique personality. He did not let me hold him in my lap as much as my first little boy, but his eyes would read my thoughts.  He had an intense stare with love in his eyes but always had his own thoughts as a child. 

Two different personalities, and two different calls from God on their lives. 

I kept feeding them, and now they are grown men.  One is 25 and the other 24. 

I am a 69-year-old daddy.  Yes, older than normal as I did not have my first son until I was 44.  Do the math. 

I write this letter as a personal note to both my sons, yet I am going to post it for others to read.  There is something special about being a “Daddy's little boy.” 

Their thumbprints, like all humans, are from God and are uniquely designed. 

God knew us before the matrix of our mother’s womb, and before the foundations of the Earth.  My finite mind has a hard time wrapping itself around this, but I know it is true. 

He gives us a thumbprint, so we can leave our own imprint on this world.  He empowers us to leave a lasting mark (imprint) to encourage people from all walks of life.  God wants us to embrace each person we meet and tell them they too have a unique identity, and for them to live out their purpose that God gives them. 

On to my letter of love to my sons. 

Not only do I remember the moments both were born, but I remember giving God all the Glory for them as they know now that they were never to be born at all.  I was unable to have children because of all the things I did back in my early years.  God did two very distinct miracles in allowing my sons to be born.  I know this and so do they now. 

I wanted to share some things about what it is like to be a Daddy to two little boys first. 

We played.  We prayed.  We cried and we tried to please one another as much as two little boys can to their imperfect Daddy.  Yes, a Daddy with flaws. 

“Wouldn’t it be great to go back in time and not do some of the things we all have done as parents?”  Knowing we can’t, it gives us a perspective in knowing how resilient little children can be despite the inadequacies of their Daddy.   

I failed you both many times in several ways.  This letter reflects how almost all daddies do not live up to every expectation.  But I want to be personal for a moment. 

One day sons, you both are going to give your Daddy the last hug, the last kiss, and hear my voice for the last time.  You never know when the last time will be.  None of us do.  Live every day as if it were the last one you have for yourself and in being with me.  Your Daddy. No, this is not my last will and testament or a warning I am not long on this Earth. 

I am wanting to write this for myself and all Daddies who have little boys who have now grown into men. 

We, as Daddies, hope our foundations that we built in our sons will stay and not crack under pressures of life.  We pray to God daily for your safety, security, peace and contentment.  Not peace in this world or the so-called peace the world offers.  But the peace from our Lord Jesus Christ. 

We must all know our identity in Christ.  1st John 3: 1-2, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!  Therefore, the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.  Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.” 

Meaning:  This emphasizes the extraordinary love of God, which results in believers being called and being children of God, a reality the world does not recognize because it does not know God.  The passage assures believers of their future transformation into the likeness of Christ when they see Him face-to-face, a hope that gives meaning and purpose to their lives. 

We are adopted into God’s family through faith in Jesus Christ. 

If you are a son to a father who is still alive, please listen closely to the following story. 

My Daddy was murdered when I was 18 years old.  My mother had died three years earlier to cancer when I was 15. 

My life was destroyed as a result of this trauma, and I immediately became a drug addict once I found out about my mother being terminally sick.  I was only 14 when the diagnosis came, and drugs and alcohol became my God. 

Knowing that my two sons, (like your sons if you read this letter of love); will not have to repeat the sins of their Daddy.  My hopes and prayers are that my children, (and your boys too), is that they will grow up to be men of God with integrity and Godly character.  Despite the fact you and I may have failed them in the past.  I know I failed them many times and for that, Daddy is sorry to the depth of my broken heart. 

Isaiah 43: 18-19 declares, “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it?   I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” 

This letter is my attempt to say to my sons, “I regret the things I did that may have wounded you.  I have deep feelings of remorse over the lack of understanding your hearts and not being as sensitive as I should have been.  I am sick in my heart that I put too much pressure, especially on my first born, to try and understand my pains and pit him against me and put him in a position to choose between what he should do or not do, and bring confusion and heartache to him.” 

I am not living in shame over all of this because I know I am forgiven by Jesus for my sins and my shortcomings in raising my two sons.  It is not an excuse to say that we all have made mistakes in being a Daddy to a Little Boy.  Or little boys.  I have no excuses. 

Jesus made a way of reconciliation to the Father through His death on the Cross.  I embrace the Cross daily on behalf of my 69 years of life that I currently am in.  I am grateful that my sons still have a Daddy to call.  I am not living out what I missed because I did not have a Daddy after 18 years old.  I am living proof of what “NOT” to do regarding being a Daddy, and what “TO” do to be a Daddy who knows how to say he is sorry for my faults. 

I want my two sons to remember some things.  Number one, this letter is written now as time is never seeming to be on my side.  I am not ignorant of my age and how I was literally a grandfather, as far as my age when you both were in high school.  I was 58 when you both were in early high school.  Thank God you were in a Christian school then.  Later you went to public school, and I regret that I could not send you to a Christian High School to graduate in.  Either way, you both turned out great in my eyes, though they are a bit red now as I write this. 

Did not want to drop you off at school in front of your friends as I did not want either of you to feel weird about my older demeanor.  Gray hair and all. 

I do know this.  Each of you have turned out exactly how I prophesied back when you were in the womb of your mother.  One, a man with a Shepherds heart.  A pastors heart.  The other, a prophet to the nations.  Both are tender hearted and tough skinned. 

I had to learn the hard way about the tough skin, so let me encourage all Daddies who may read this or let their sons read this letter. 

I used to think that having a tender heart was great, and it still is.  The tough skin was because of all my insecurities.  I dropped off the tough skin about 5 years ago, though I still have a few scars from my past and some insecurities that I deal with daily. 

“Sons, I can’t give you advice now, but I can give you both some words of wisdom.” 

Pursue God as passionately as He is pursuing you.  And when you do, and make it a priority in your life, it will reward you handsomely.  

Proverbs 4: 1-13, Solomon speaks, “Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, and give attention to know understanding; For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law.  When I was my father’s son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, He also taught me and said to me; “Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live.  Get wisdom!  Get understanding!  Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.  Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you.  Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore, get wisdom.  And in all your getting, get understanding.  Exalt her, (wisdom) and she will promote you; she will bring you honor, when you embrace her.  She will place on your head an ornament of grace; A crown of glory she will deliver to you.  Hear my son (s) and receive my sayings, And the years of your life will be many.  I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths.  When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, and when you run, you will not stumble.  Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life.” 

To my sons, and all who need to hear this; “I have played with you, all the way up until you were about 14.  I could not throw the football like I used to.  I could kick a 55-yard field goal with dress shoes on though.  I was 58 when I kicked that ball through the uprights with about 7 yards to spare.  (I limped back to the car thinking I had thrown out my right hip, ughhh.)  I tried my best, knowing I was getting older and not as fast as you both.  Trying is better than not attempting that kick.” 

Daddy's little boys grow up.  They grow up fast because mom kept feeding them.  “That is all your fault by the way mom.” 

I am looking through different eyes as I see the both of you.  My eyes and my heart are happy today.  I see the fruit of your lives in your twenties, and I am very proud of you both.  You have never disappointed me.  Not even once. 

I believe Jesus will give me 20 more years, but who knows. 

God has left His mark upon my life.  His thumbprint is deep and obvious, despite my tattoo from the County Jail that I had to cover up years later after my fall from grace. 

It is His mark of excellence in His creation for me and for you both. 

Life marks us up like a chalkboard during algebra class.  I hated math.  I got the privilege of erasing all those equations, exponents, expressions, and factors.   “What is an integer, matrixes, and quadratic equation?”  The formulas, and their less than and greater than markings, blew my mind.  I think the teacher called upon me to erase them slowly in hopes some of it would make sense for me.  I failed the class.  Chalk under my fingernails was the only thing that stuck. 

I failed a bunch of things in this life of 69 years.  I do know one thing that is for sure. 

I may have a history of failure at times, and I know my sins are forgiven.   

I did not fail in loving my two sons. 

I am leaving an imprint on the both of you.  These marks I leave pale in comparison to the anointed marks Jesus Christ is leaving on your hearts. 

God knows how to use your life if you will let Him.  Though the both of you have felt like “nobodies” at times, or that you have disappointed God some, just remember that I am never, ever disappointed in either one of you.  It is not in me to cast a slur upon you or let myself not care about how you both feel. 

When I get to Heaven someday and sit at the Lamb’s Supper next to ex-convicts, ex-drug addicts and the like, I will always have two seats vacant.  One on my left and the other on my right.  Reserved for my two sons.  When I am there waiting for your seat at the table, I will look down from Heaven and remember the good times. 

I will watch you both as you play football with your sons perhaps.  If you choose, put on some dress shoes and kick the ball like ole’ Pop did back in 2011 in Kerrville, Texas. 

Try and do it before you turn 55 okay?  There will be less pain in your hip after the long field goal you try to make.  Remember this: “You will always miss the shots you never take.” 
Go for it.  Win or lose, you both are winners in my heart.  Always will be, no matter what. 
Love, Daddy. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Tipping Point or Turning Point

It has only been a few weeks since the assassination of Charlie Kirk, and it is a tragedy with what I believe is a silver lining to a very dark, storm cloud in the spiritual realm. 

I have waited to share my thoughts out of respect for those who loved him and for his immediate family.  His legacy shall live on. 

 

I have entitled this message, “Tipping Point or Turning Point.”  I want to explain my heart in all the differences between the two.  Turning Point is referenced in this letter not because of the name of Charlie Kirk’s organization.  It is because of the definition of turning point which I will get to. 

I will start with “tipping” point.  It is the threshold of a moment when a gradual change becomes sudden, dramatic, and often irreversible, leading to rapid and significant shifts in a situation, system, or behavior.  This is a fact in this death and horrific assassination of a true Martyr and minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

 

Like a ball rolling down a hill or a virus spreading, the physics and theories behind this energy is not debatable.  For a system or situation to tip, it requires the right context or environment for the change to catch on, thus the energy released as the ball rolls down the hill. 

 

The accelerated change, and irreversibility of the situation is hardly ever reversed.  Not in science but can be reversed according to the scripture in the Bible. 

 

“Then his brothers (referring to Joseph’s brothers) also went and fell down before his face, and they said, Behold, we are your servants.”  Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God?  But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.”  Genesis 50: 18-20. 

 

Joseph had brothers who sold him into slavery, and at that time, cared less for the well-being of their brother.  Now, after all that had happened, they fell down before his face and declared that they would be his servants.  A complete change.  Repented hearts towards their brother. 

Joseph comforted them and spoke kindly to them.  A complete irreversible situation turned into good in an accelerated time period.  A tipping point. 

On to the Turning Point.  “A time or event in our lives when something happens that shifts, or in some cases totally changes, and alters our inner landscape and consequently our world view.  In time, the ones around us change too. 

 

Turning point also means a pivotal moment of significant change and transformation, either in the story of humanity, a nation, or an individual's life, often altering the course of history or faith. 

 

This is what happened and is continuing to happen since the loss of a true man of God.  Charlie Kirk. 

 

I can’t understand all that has happened.  I do know the difference between the tipping point and the turning point as I have tried to explain. 

 

The main difference is that a true “turning point” will change more than the people who it affected the most.  Obviously, Charlie’s wife and two children will never be the same after what happened on September 10, 2025. 

God does cause all things to work together for good. 

 

Another set of turning points in the Bible include the fall of man in Genesis 3; God’s call to Abraham in Genesis 12, the covenant with Moses, and, most significantly, the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus, which completely changed the narrative and offered hope for redemption.  Hope for the entire world, if they will receive what was accomplished on the Cross of Calvary. 

Since Charlie died, countless tens of thousands of people world-wide have come to the knowledge of Jesus.  His death, though tragic, is causing perhaps millions to receive Christ in time, and a true revival in our youth is already exploding. 

 

It has affected my two young sons.  One is 25, and the other is 24.  

 This generation, or GEN-Z, is the first to grow up with the internet and digital technology as a constant presence in their lives.  Good or bad, it is here, and many use it daily.  Sometimes too much. 

This Generation Z is known for their pragmatic and resourceful skills and abilities with high levels of anxiety and a strong focus on social justice and environmental concerns.  Not so much for the Christians in this age group, like my two sons. 

 

 The term Zoomers is sometimes used as a moniker for those born between 2001 and 2012. 

 

The tipping point, in my opinion, is when their communication skills get limited to text.  Text to talk.  Instagram, X, or other forms of computer dialogue rather than simply picking up a phone and calling home. 

 

The turning point is when they recognize the true value of a life lost like Charlie Kirk’s life. 

 

His legacy is one of specific communication.  Led by the Holy Ghost, he was able to debate every topic imaginable to man.  He spoke to the Zoomers and beyond with love, sternness and Biblical precedence.  His love for the youth of America is evident in the way he was willing to put himself in the crosshairs of liberal debate.  These crosshairs are not a reference to his demise but simply put; a pin-point accuracy in his skills as a communicator and a skilled lover of mankind. 

 

His ministry and the name Turning Point USA is one that has already garnered interest from over a hundred thousand inquiries to add his agendas to the schools that have inquired. 

This is historic. 

 

Revival.  True revival has always been birthed out of some sort of pain.  The nature of pain in revival starts with conviction of sin.  This stark recognition of one’s own sin, self-centeredness, or spiritual apathy, which brings sorrow and a sense of loss, is the seed of repentance towards the God Charlie served.  Jesus the Christ. 

 

Emotional intensity is the process of repentance which can involve loud weeping, wailing, and even physical actions as people confront their spiritual bondages.  This pain is real and chaotic yet powerful back in the early church revivals.  We need kneeling benches and boxes of tissues at our altars in America’s churches.  Move aside the offering buckets for later and replace them with the true money of repentance.  Tears are more valuable than dollars. 

 

Birth pains are the struggle and sorrows of repentance which can be understood better by the labor pains in a woman giving birth.  Like childbirth, the pain is temporary and replaced with the joy of the baby who is near to her bosom, moments after birth. 

She does forget the pain but remembers what she went through to arrive with a child. 

 

Holy violence or radical actions such as the destruction of idols or harmful habits, must be destroyed to make clear space for spiritual growth.  Painful yes.  Needed, absolutely. 

 

I can imagine a world with revival.  I can see a small glimpse of what Charlie Kirk may have seen in his young life.  True revival which lasts, always brings a certain sorrow with it. 

Those who paved the way in revival are too many to mention.  Yet, Charlie will leave a mark on this world like has never been seen before.  If not now, when? 

I say now.  I believe with his widow and two small children, that his legacy WILL NOT DIE. 

 Her own words at his funeral. 

 

The tipping point in America has already happened. 

Now, we await the results of this turning point in time. 

The climax of the speech and its most memorable phrase of JFK’s famous line in the 1961 Inaugural Address was: 

“Ask not what your country can do for you-ask what you can do for your country.” 

 

Less than six weeks after his inauguration, President Kennedy issued an executive order establishing the Peace Corps as a pilot program within the Department of State.  He envisioned the Peace Corps as a pool of trained American volunteers who would go overseas to help foreign countries meet their needs for skilled manpower.  Later that year, Congress passed the Peace Corps Act, making the program permanent. 

 

Charlie Kirk “DID” so much for the United States of America.  He did not ask what his country could do for him.  He went past the tipping point of chaos in the college campuses in America.  He tried his best to tell the truth and what and who he believed in.  Jesus. 

 

So, John F. Kennedy on January 20, 1961, declared, “We observe today not a victory of party but a celebration of freedom, symbolizing an end as well as a beginning, signifying renewal as well as change.  For I have sworn before you and Almighty God the same solemn oath our forebears prescribed nearly a century and three-quarters ago.  The world is very different now.  For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty and all forms of human life.  And yet the same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at issue around the globe-the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God.” 
 

If I had to guess, I believe Charlie Kirk will be remembered in the same way.  Not that he and John F. Kennedy, our 35th President of these United States of America, were both taken early from us. 

But that they both believed God, and God alone, gave us His generosity to serve Him. 

 

It will go down in history.  That date.  September 10, 2025.  Not a date to remember a loss.  But a man to remember who multiplied himself, with God’s help, in millions of young Americans around this world. 

 

To God be the Glory.  The true turning point has begun.  May the silver lining shine through the clouds, and let our mandate to serve Jesus, grow stronger each day.  It is not only what I believe Mr. Kirk may have wanted.  I believe Jesus wants us to pass the torch to the next generation.  Let the next one be called Generation J.C.  “You know what that means.” 

 

 Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Chained, or Surrendered?

I was watching this preacher, and he said something that I want to elaborate on. 

He said, “We are either chained to a pew in a church, or we are surrendered to the Cross of Calvary.  Some people confuse loyalty to a building, with loyalty to Christ.  This could cost you your soul. 

He also said, “Going to church and sitting in that pew, does not make you a Christian any more than going into your garage and calling yourself a car.” 

Being so loyal or sold out to a preacher, a denomination or a building, can cause you to be “damned” or condemned out of false loyalty. 

 

We are all loyal to something or someone.  Life does not give us too many options regarding who or what master we serve.  We are serving something.  We are loyal to someone, perhaps the wrong person. 

In marriage.  To our jobs or careers.  Loyal to the almighty dollar.  Hooked on our desires and addicted to things that are destroying our lives.  Chained, or surrendered.  It is more than a moral choice.  It is eternal. 

 

Matthew 6: 24, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other.  You cannot serve God and mammon.”  

  

Money, material wealth or any entity that promises wealth.   

Yes, we know the love of money is the root of all evil.  1st Timothy 6: 10.  It is not that money is evil, but it is evil to make it the God of your life.   

Besides, I have said it many times in the many years of preaching.  “I have never seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul trailer.”  

 We came into this world naked, and surely, we will leave the same.  Job 1: 21, “And he said: Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there, The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.” 

 

My perspective in all of this is the church building.  Attending the church services for all the right reasons.  Learning, growing in our faith.  Serving and volunteering.  Giving of our finances and our time.  This is all good.  Yet, some people believe that doing all the church things will punch their ticket to Heaven.  Could not be more wrong. 

 

Most Christians know what it means to surrender, repent, pray and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ so that we can be saved.  Reconciled to the Father through the shed Blood of Jesus. 

 

Before Christ, I had several masters.  Drugs, alcohol, violence and all the ramifications of that lifestyle proved I had a master controlling my young life.  It was more than my flesh getting in the way and satisfying all the desires that my flesh craved. 

 

Because we are created by God in His image, we have a spirit, soul and body.  Therefore, my physical body held the spirit and my soul.  This addictive life I lived was controlled by demons and all the strongholds that come with serving Satan.  I did not go to ritualistic meetings, nor did I chant around a fire pit at night sacrificing chickens. 

 

I was possessed not just oppressed.   The demonic-controlled masters in my life needed to be dealt with, and they were sent away from me on the day of my Salvation.  With no one praying or screaming at me, “Come out of him!”  They left because the Blood of Jesus coursed through my spiritual veins, and the spiritual house I had was swept clean. 

 

So, let us delve into the church world as we know it, or have experience it from several perspectives. 

 

Chained to a pew or surrendered to Christ within a sermon context, simply is a paradoxical Christian idea of surrendering one’s will to God in order to be freed from the “chains” of sin and self-will. 

 

Over all the years of trying my best to serve Jesus Christ, my Savior, I have been in just about every known church denomination there is. 

I am not against any order of business in church, or their doctrinal differences they hold that perhaps do not match mine.  I live my life not striving to debate any human being on the Bible or why I believe the way I do.  This is a waste of time and energy. 

However, I have spent the past 35 years preaching this Gospel of Grace and Mercy to thousands of inmates all over this globe. 

 

I have seen tradition in churches.  I have witnessed the congregations, young and older, be engaged and some sleeping during the sermon and the worship. 

I have experienced the “Holy rolling” in the so-called Pentecostal church, all the way to the Baptist expression. 

I am not here to criticize anyone or any church. 

 

But I have seen 80% average of all the churches I have been in or visited void of any altar invitation.  No prayer, no compelling them to come to an old-fashioned altar in repentance for the Salvation of their souls.  No asking the backslider to come up and repent and pray.  No anointing of oil and laying on of hands for the sick, according to God’s Word. 

James 5: 14-16, “Is anyone among you sick?  (Physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.)  Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.  And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up.  And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.  Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” 

 

Sounds to me like James made a point of all I have spoken about thus far.  The church has a responsibility to do exactly what this Chapter 5 said.  How can they pray over the sick, unless they invite them forward to be able to reach their bodies to anoint them with oil? 

 

How can faith grow with the ones being prayed for if there are not people around them laying hands on them and encouraging them in prayer for the healing and for their need to repent and give their hearts to Jesus? 

And then, how can the believers listen to and confess to “one another” that they may be healed if there is not a gathering at the altar for the effective, fervent prayer to go forth from the righteous ones who are willing to pray and believe with the hurting and lost souls in the church? 

 

There is no need to beat a dead horse here.  (Not that I would do that.)  This is just one example, a big example, why we must as ministers of the Gospel “COMPEL” them to come to the altar.   

 

There is something about being unchained from a pew and then surrendering to God and His will for a human being who suffers.    By surrounding that soul with like-minded and compassionate believers, and then confessing, praying, crying, anointing with oil, and seeing the Lord set the captives free, is supposed to be what a church service is all about.   

Not just singing a few hymns or songs.  Not just taking the offering.  Not just about the upcoming announcements.  It is not about the doxology at the end, as it is about letting the Holy Ghost be the center of everyone’s attention.  Letting God move the way the Lord wants to and get completely out of the way without our agendas and systems that are in place to be so rigid.  I know about rigidity. 

 

 

I have sat in church services where the Pastor and his wife talked for forty minutes about the church events coming, and the guest speakers who will attend soon, etc., etc., and “blah, blah, blah.”  They took up an extra 40 minutes (of time that the pastor was going to give me) to make announcements that should have been discussed at the beginning of the service.  NOT right before I was to preach to over 200 addicts who were there on a Thursday evening service, geared for their needs. 

 

I was invited to minister my story and my experience of freedom in Christ and the testimonies I have about how God can heal the broken hearted and set the captive free. 

 

God’s time was not respected.  “Why so harsh Joe.” 

Listen to me for just a moment, please. 

 

 God can and will do more in a nano-second by the power of the Holy Ghost than we can do in our five-point sermons and altar invitations. 

However, if church agendas, announcements and 10 minute long offering exposés to get people to give or give more, is cutting into the time that someone could get saved or healed, then I believe the Lord is grieved.  This happened as well, prior to me preaching. 

 

These types of investigative-journalism-styles of pastoring are truly designed to reveal hidden information, misconduct, or problems to the church public.  Should be handled privately if it is personal and staff related.  My opinion. 

 

 No matter the intent, it is sad that when I was asked to come to this church in Vancouver, Washington over 10 years ago from Texas where I live, to see what happened, grieved me and grieved the Holy Spirit. 

 

Earlier that day I had a lunch meeting with the Pastor several hours before he allowed me into HIS pulpit. 

We talked, and I revealed my message and the evangelistic way God has me preach.  We got along great, prayed and when the evening came for me to preach, the “amount” of time he said he would give me to preach, pray and lay hands on all those addicts would encompass approximately 50-60 minutes.  

 That is plenty of time for me to do everything the Lord wanted me to express.  The sound man who did the overhead display on the big screen behind me with the scriptures I was to present, did a great job.  Time would only allow me to use 2 out of the 7 that I had prepared. 

 

Well, do the math.  I was left with 17 minutes from the time I walked up to the microphone and then finished everything the Lord wanted. 

 

Seventeen minutes.  Not what was planned, but the Lord did miracles for those addicted folks anyway.  Over 90 surrendered to Christ for the first time, and I rapidly anointed as many as I could reach with oil and prayed a corporate prayer at the end for those who needed deliverance. 

 

All of that took place at the end, as the pastor and his wife reappeared on to the stage to do more announcements at the end.  In fact, they began their announcements as I was still praying without a microphone, kneeling at the altar with the souls there.   It would have been nice if the pastor would have recognized his sheep at that altar and continued praying for them, rather than spout more announcements as over 100 continued to weep at the altar as I left my place from the altar. 

 

It felt like the old “Gong Show” with exception of someone bringing out a big hook on a long pole to pull me off the stage. 

 

MY POINT? 

Chains came off from people, and the surrendering at the altar happened despite me or the Pastor and his wife.  Yes, they should have respected God’s time, but it really does not matter. 

I used that long story to point out the insensitivities of some churches to allow the Holy Ghost to move (or not move) regardless of their formats, agendas or announcements. 

Whatever happened to allowing the Spirit to lead a church service?  What is the church service really for?  Glad that I get a moment to express what I believe the Bible says about church. 

The ecclesia, or body of believers in Jesus; the “called out” ones are the actual definition of a church.  Not a building.  Not a denomination.  Nothing wrong with either.  The 11-foot-tall steeples going up to Heaven do not draw God to the building.  Just my opinion. 

 

Stain-glass hinders light, but not the Light of the World, Jesus. 

 

Back in my early years, and currently, I believe the preacher should pray for as long as the Lord will have them pray, prior to preaching. 

It is the intercession that helps break the chains off people. 

Not just my prayers, but others who care enough to sacrifice time in prayer. 

I was taught this.  “Joe, if the Pastor would allow you to come early, several hours prior to the church starting, then go and pray.  Lay hands on each seat or pew.  Anoint with oil, the best you can, each chair.  Pray in the Spirit, and weep and pray some more.  Until the Lord releases you to speak even one word from a pulpit.” 

 

There are other churches I have been in that do respect time and the leading of the Holy Spirit.  I am not painting all churches with the same brush.  It is not my providence to interfere or say even one word to anyone about church mechanics and methods. 

 

I am pointing out that I believe, if the church service that is prepared beforehand, is allowed to let the Spirit of God flow, then the people there sitting would be released to be free.  Free from the chains in the pews.  Free to come down an isle and kneel and pray. 

Free to surrender their lives and their problems to the ONE who knows everything about them. 

 

I never want to be the problem, but the answer to the problem.  I believe that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  Vindication and pardons.  Like in prison, when a man or woman is pardoned or paroled, he or she is given a new chance.  A new opportunity to get things right in their lives that once brought them to prison to begin with.  They have an opportunity to let go of sin and repent. 

 

“Then the master said to the servant, go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.  For I say to you that none of those men who were invited shall taste my supper.”  Luke 14: 23-24 

 

God’s Kingdom is a feast available to all, but those who reject it will be excluded.  The command to compel them to come in emphasizes the urgency of God’s inclusive grace and the powerful, persuasive call to salvation in repentance, urging believers to actively share the Gospel with all who are marginalized. 

 

Those addicts that night in Vancouver who came were marginalized.  Addicted, hurt, abandoned and rejected.  We compelled them to come through advertising, flyers, and word of mouth.  200 plus came.  Many were saved, set free and delivered and healed. 

 

Let none of us marginalize the time we are given to minister the Gospel.  No one is insignificant or unimportant.  I endeavor to take time to love every prisoner in prison I minister to weekly.  I am very limited on time because of rules in prison. 

I would hope that Pastors or preachers would learn time management to a degree.  Time.  

 

 It is always ticking by.  Let none of us, including me, take too much time to speak the truth.  But also in perspective, take the time to tell the truth, so no one leaves a church service, out of time to repent. 

Who is the Master of our lives?  We will know once we learn whether we are chained or surrendered.  Surrender to Jesus and ask Him to forgive you.  He will.  And all your chains will fall off.  It is one, or the other.  Your choice. 

 Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Restoration Prison Ministry Newsletter: September/October, 2025

 Hello again,

I am combining the later part of September and all upcoming ministry opportunities for October in one letter. 

I returned from the Ferguson Unit in Midway, Texas on September 8, 2025.  I conducted three services on Sunday, the 7th and saw 60 men give their hearts to Jesus.  It was not “all” the Lord did as many wept in their conversion to Christ.  I had many divine appointments with several of the younger men. 

One in particular stood out. 

His name is Daniel, and he is 27 years old. 

 

Daniel is getting out of prison in three years and was inquiring about the prison ministry that God has had me conducting for the last 35 years. 

He said, “I went back to my cell after the first service you preached Joe, and I got on my knees and truly surrendered my will to Jesus.  I want to do what you do Joe.” 

 

When I preached the evening service that Sunday, he approached me and told me the story of what happened in his cell after that 8 a.m. service. 

Daniel wrote me a letter to my P.O. Box, and I received it just a few days ago. 

Today is September 22, and I received the letter on the 17th. 

 

Daniel spoke about how this ministry has truly impacted his life and how the Lord has changed his heart from a gang leader to a leader in winning former gang members to Jesus.  He had already been doing this prior to that Sunday, but in the letter, he described his passion, and his belief that God is raising him up for such a time as this. 

His family is still waiting for him to return home, and he has a job waiting for him once he is set free from Ferguson in December. 

He knows I am coming back on December 7 and wants to pray with me prior to his release date in late December. 

 

As always, I am encouraged to see the younger generation be excited to serve Jesus.  He has a passion that reminds me of how I was at age 21 while in prison.  Specifically, Ferguson.  I refer to this prison as my Alma Mater, which is funny in a way, calling it the “school of hard knocks.” 

 

Daniel is but one of many who are truly fired up about serving the Lord Jesus and it makes me grateful that you, and several others, send me to preach this Gospel of mercy, grace, forgiveness and repentance. 

 

I could not do what God has called me to do without the prayers and support of all the partners who continue to help me “go into all the world and preach the Gospel and make disciples of men.” 

 

As you know from a previous newsletter, that December 7th is the target date for my next ministry revival at Ferguson.  I am still wanting to bring the 2,300 Christmas cards and the same amount of soap to give as gifts to the whole population who live there. 

 

It is the annual pre-Christmas gifts that tend to cause the chapel to grow significantly.  A simple gift called a Christmas card and a 3.2-ounce bar of Palmolive bar soap. 

 

Seems, for some in the world to be a small gift. 

But not for the supporters of this ministry.  You know and I know, and the Lord knows how much a simple bar of soap and a Christmas card to send home before Christmas day can mean to a young man or even an older man at Ferguson.  It is more than a simple gift. 

 

It paves the way for many of them to come to the Chapel of the Prodigal Son inside Ferguson prison.  A simple gift of love from you, brings a man to a place of knowing Christ Jesus, and surrendering his life for the good. 

I like to say this: “The bar of soap will cleanse him on the outside, as Jesus cleanses his heart on the inside.” 

 

The Christmas Card?  Wow.  The stories I have heard from this past Christmas makes me even more motivated to buy these gifts. 

Last December of 2024, the worship team of inmates took all the gifts you helped buy to each cell inside Ferguson.  Each man was given a bar of soap and a Christmas card. 

 

In solitary confinement too, known as “X” block or closed custody block, one inmate behind the small opening in the solid steel door, looked out as the worship team went by each cell door to hand the gifts to the men. 

 

Once one of the men received the gifts, he began to cry tears of sadness and tears of joy.  He said to the men who handed him the two gifts, “Why are you doing this?” 

Their response was, “It is a gift from Jesus Christ to you today and can we pray for you?” 

This one man in “X” block, while weeping, was prayed for and received Jesus as his personal Savior that day. 

 

Alone in a cell by himself.  Locked away from the main population because of bad behavior, he received the only thing that could change his behavior for good. 

Jesus. 

 

It was two simple gifts given with love and prayer that brought this man to Salvation. 

 

Please never underestimate the help you give in your giving to support these events in prison.  I know you do not, but understand that for many men receiving these gifts, they use them to pay a debt owed inside this maximum-security prison. 

 

They should have never gotten themselves into debt in any kind of way inside prison.  Yet, a bar of soap, or their gift of a Christmas card in paying back their debt to some man who could of either killed them, raped them, or used “compound interest on the debt” to continue the cycle of insane “interest” rates inside prison. 

 

I know from my own experience back in 1976, while living at Ferguson as a young 20-year-old inmate, that you NEVER get into debt no matter what. 

So, as you help me this month and in October to purchase the 2,300 bars of Palmolive soap and a JESUS Christmas card, (NOT Santa Claus) remember that you are helping many men see Jesus and hopefully “know” Him from these gifts. 

 

Who will ever know if a life or many lives are saved from the onslaught of the insanity of prison “debt” inside Ferguson, are rescued and given a second chance at life eternal. 

 

December 7th is my scheduled time for three services at Ferguson, and I am praying that you continue to help me in prayer to see many souls receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior this upcoming Christmas and beyond. 

No better gift can be given. 

It is not the gift under the tree, so to speak, that counts. 

It is the gift that hung on the tree.  Jesus. 

 

Sincerely, Joe Wilkins and Restoration Prison Ministry 

https://www.anewthingsee.com/

My Long-Awaited Healing

Have you ever felt spiritually broken?  Maybe you are feeling the pain of a broken promise or a broken relationship.  Are you wondering, like I have in the past, if the damage will ever be mended? 

Perhaps you and I are in a place of being misunderstood by people we are around.  Or, worse yet, feeling ignored by God Himself. 

Maybe we feel we are being judged by God and feeling His wrath in our bad decisions. 

Perhaps you feel you have messed up so much that there is no more hope for you. 

“Hope deferred, or paused, makes the heart grow weary and sick, but when the desire or answer comes, it is a tree of life.”  Proverbs 13: 12. 

Hope?  Weariness and frustration?  A sick heart coupled with our dreams which seem shattered?  All true, but not permanent according to God and His Word for our lives. 

This pain of unfulfilled longing is real and alive in your soul, but that is not the permanent condition. 

Regardless of the type of our brokenness, perhaps you and I are at the point where we have been waiting for so long that we are beginning to doubt whether our circumstances will every change.  This was the condition of one man in the Bible. 

John 5: 1-8, “After this, there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.  Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades (a row of columns supporting a roof,)  

(Quick note: For many years, archaeologists could not find this pool, so it was a point of criticism among skeptics questioning the historicity of Scripture, but late in the 19th century, this pool was discovered, exactly as described in this text.) 

Verse 3, In these lay a multitude of invalids-blind, lame, and paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water.  For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had.  Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew he had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’ 

The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” 

Jesus said to him, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk.’  And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.” 

I often wonder as I put myself into the shoes of the crippled man.  “How long must I wait for my miracle Lord?” 

Good question. 

Thirty-Eight years for that crippled man.  That is 456 months.  1,976 weeks.  13, 832 days and a maximum of 331,968 hours, constantly crippled and hoping for his shot at the pool of healing. 

That is NINETEEN MILLION, NINE HUNDRED EIGHTEEN THOUSAND AND EIGHTY MINUTES equals a total of 71,705,008,000 s2.  All those seconds of suffering.  If you can tell me what that means I will be impressed with your math skills. 

Think about it.  This crippled man who had his hopes up and his faith high in believing that that pool of healing waters would fix him permanently.  He must have strived in his faith and physical strength to crawl to get his first shot at healing, but was denied for such a long time, never getting in first, but coming up short.  Feeling like a failure, I am sure. 

“How was he coping in his suffering?”  We will never know.  Except Jesus showed up. 

To cope: A set of thoughts and behaviors people use to manage stressful situations and the emotions they cause.  There are different types of coping mechanisms, such as problem-focused coping, which addresses the stressor directly, and emotion-focused coping, which manages the emotional distress.  Effective coping strategies include practices like mindfulness, exercise, journaling, seeking social support, and taking a proactive, problem-solving approach to challenges. 

Can you and I picture for a moment this poor crippled man at the Pool of Bethesda.  Do you and I believe in those conditions and in that era, that any coping mechanisms would work? 

Of course not.  He did not have a pen and paper to journal on.  His ability to deal with the emotional stress was overwhelming.  No one to talk to.  No Christian counselors available.  No prescription drugs for his bi-polar diagnosis.  No one and no hope. 

Enter Jesus, the answer to his long-waited healing.  This crippled man walked again. 

When Jacob returned to Esau, and seeing the four hundred men that Esau had with him, he was in need for his own type of healing.  Esau ran to meet him and embraced him affectionately and kissed him.  Both were in tears.  After being introduced to Jacob’s family, Esau asked, “And what were all the flocks and herds I met as I came?”  Jacob replied, “They are gifts, my lord, to insure your goodwill.”  “Brother, I have plenty Esau answered.”  “Keep what you have.”  “No please accept them Jacob said, for what a relief it is to see your friendly smile.  It is like seeing the smile of God!” 

Esau finally accepted the gifts.  Genesis 33: 1,3-4, 8-11. 

Jacob’s tremendous fear gave way to relief.  The last time Jacob had seen Esau, Jacob was in fear for his life.  With the passing of time, both of them had changed.  When Jacob faced his brother, he found that there was still affection, even though they both remembered the pain. 

Whether we are physically disabled or called an invalid, or we are emotionally crippled; simply put, is really the same.  Pain is pain whether it is physical or mental or emotional.  Yes, physical inabilities because of birth defects or accidents or trauma to the body is real and quite hard to deal with. 

I should know.  I was handicapped all my young life.  All the way to prison and beyond.  From birth to the day of my Salvation in Jesus Christ I was crippled in my addictions and my broken heart was the driving force behind all of the insanity I purposed. 

I needed a pool like the crippled man needed.  I needed and wanted desperately to fall into a pool of healing.  I was in a desert without an oasis. 

Like Esau, I never knew I needed to accept a gift, or gifts like were presented by his brother Jacob.  These twin brothers were physically the same, but emotionally and spiritually different. 

I desperately needed a drink from the well of Salvation, and my day came when I met Jesus.  It is HIS living water that has sustained me now for the last 48 years since that glorious day in prison when I received Jesus as my Savior at my young age of 21. 

Jesus did not just heal this man at the pool.  He did not walk by him and heal him.  He stopped and engaged him.  He noticed him.  He sought him out.  He engages with him in a dialogue asking questions.  Jesus listened to his plight. 

Jesus Christ asks over 300 questions in the gospels alone.  He is a question-asker.  He is a listener.  Why?  Because Jesus already knows what is in the heart of a man.  (John 2: 25.)  He does not need to ask questions.  Why would someone who already knows all the answers, ask over 300 questions? 

Hearing is a skill by which we must practice better.  First, hearing is loving.  Jesus loves the man, and one of the best ways to love is to listen.   

Secondly, hearing is revealing.  By listening, Jesus was helping the man understand his own heart.  He was drawing him out!  Jesus knows what’s in the heart of a man, but sometimes man does not know what is in the heart of himself.  Sometimes, Jesus asks us questions and listens to help us understand our own hearts! 

This is part of the power of prayer, by the way.  Often as God listens to us in prayer, He reveals our own hearts to us. 

Thirdly, hearing is healing.  Someone who is broken-hearted, might be able to be fixed without being heard, but they cannot truly be healed without being heard.  Jesus was a carpenter and probably tightened a lot of loose pieces of wood in his day, using the techniques available to Him.  I guarantee Jesus never asked those pieces of wood any questions or listened to them.  But when Jesus walked up to this man who was suffering, He didn’t see another loose piece of wood that needed to be tightened.  He saw a lost sheep that needed to be shepherded. 

Jesus does not see us a problem that needs just a fixing.  He sees us as individuals who need fostering.  This is great news in our personal brokenness. 

This “long-awaited healing” that we suffer (at times) to gain hope in, is responded to by Jesus in a personal, one-on-one way.  Jesus does not quickly jump into fixing mode.  He does not cut you off midway through your grieving and start dishing out advice.  He does not fold his arms and frown at you as you explain your suffering, like, "Well, maybe if you stopped sinning, your life wouldn’t be so hard” or Jesus does not shift the topic of your pain, to HIS. 

Jesus does not treat us like a piece of home-made furniture, leaving us alone to weather the rain without a protective varnish applied to our hearts. 

According to the testimonies of the Gospels, Jesus is an eager listener.  He actually cares about our pain.  1st Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all of your cares on Him because He cares for you.”  Jesus is the most present presence you will ever meet.  In fact, Jesus doesn’t only hear the words of our mouths, but He hears the cries of our hearts, even before we know how to put them into words.  He is a comprehensive hearer-and that gives us hope in our suffering and tears.  He knows how to wipe those tears off from our pillows at night, and they will never stain the pillowcases of our hearts. 

Jesus is a comprehensive hearer and a comprehensive healer. 

Jesus asked the crippled man, “Do you want to be healed?”  Of course, Jesus knew he needed healing, but He wanted to get a response from the man he loved.  He asked the question, to get an answer, not an excuse or a description of how he just could not get to the pool in time for his healing. 

Jesus wants us to cry out to Him. 

In times of our personal struggles, this assurance of knowing that “all things will work together for good,” does give us hope, despite the feeling of the 38 years of suffering.  Remember the nineteen million plus minutes that crippled man suffered in his hopes that seemed fully deferred. 

Our personal relationship with Jesus is just that.  A relationship.  Unlike a marriage, or a sibling relationship, only one party to the problem lies with us, not Jesus.  He is the hope and healing to make the relationship work that He has with us, and our relationship we have with Him.  It is a relationship like a two-way street we drive on, except He has no potholes or ditches to drive in or through.  Let Jesus take the wheel. 

“What shall I do now in my suffering?”  Instead of “Why me God, how about, I-will-just-trust-You?” 

Easier said than done when we suffer. 

I wish I had the testimony of a young boy turning into a man of God who withstood his own pain and let-downs, and broken promises.  I did not withstand anything when I was 20-33.  It took 13 years of wilderness and my backslidden ways in sin, to come to my senses. 

I was in a hog-trough eating pods like the prodigal son.  The difference for me was I did not have a Godly father waiting on the porch at home, to kill the fatted calf, and put a robe on my shoulder, and a ring on my finger, and sandals on my feet.  I did not get celebrated by my daddy and hear him say to Joe, “My son who was once lost is now found.  He was dead, but now alive.” 

My daddy was dead.  Gone when I was 18.  I had no one to help me.  I had to learn the hard way.  I am not comparing my suffering to you and your sufferings.  Pain is pain.  Self-inflicted wounds are hard to heal, and wounds and daggers to our heart make us bleed from the inside out when they do not come from our sins or bad decisions. 

Our long-awaited healing begins when we surrender to the fact that not all situations in life turn out exactly how we wanted and prayed for.  If God truly knows what is best for us, then our will must die to His will.  Though I felt I was in God’s will at times, and was truly in it, I still fought the fiery darts from the evil one.  It hurt because my armor was not on tightly, and even if it was on tightly, I suffered with the slings and arrows of life itself.  I was hurt, and it seems at times, that hurt never heals. 

It will.  In time.  The statement that “time heals all wounds” is not always just. 

I can look back on my life and see clearly the way God has orchestrated all the pieces of this symphony.  If the drums in our spirit make a good sound, it is because God is beating those drums.  Like the real drums I played back in my youth, the scars and dings on the heads of the drums and the wood-sparked drum itself, bore witness to my hitting them repeatedly. 

My cymbals had dings on them too.  The drum sticks broke from time to time, but I kept going and beating the drums to get the sound out of them that became good.  The strings on the violin must be replaced too and lubed up with the proper linseed oil or walnut oil to keep them in perfect condition. 

God knows how to make the symphony sounds work together without His beating on the drums or smashing the cymbals so hard that they warp.  He does it with class and sensitivity.  I beat the physical drums I played on.  He made my heartstrings, and my spiritual drums make the right sound over time, when I allowed Him to tune me in to His will. 

All of this takes time.  “OH, how I wish I could go back into my early twenties and learn what I know now.” 

It is not to be. 

I pray for you as you read this. 

Your long-awaited healing is ever present with the Lord Jesus Christ.  I know most Christians do not want to hear a scripture like Romans 8: 28 in the midst of their storm.  Nevertheless, this scripture still stands the test of time.  All things will work together for good, for those who love God, and are the called according to His purpose. 

The question is, “Will be endure these hardships like a good soldier?”  Can’t run from the battle or we will be labeled by the world as a “yellow belly.”  Not a bird called a sapsucker. 

We are human.  Though the Spirit of the Lord Jesus dwells in us, does not keep us from feeling the sting of hurts in this life.  I would to God that I could take away the pain of those I love.  I see it.  I feel it to a degree. 

The only hope I know is that Jesus is there for those who hurt and grieve. 

He is love and He will never stop loving us. 

Quitting is not an option unless we want to go it alone. 

I pray that “Holy Spirit” will engulf you, kiss you, hold you tight and never let you go.  Jesus left the Holy Spirit here on earth for us to rely on in the midst of our sufferings. 

He will never leave us or forsake us. 

Jacob and Esau.  Joseph and his brothers.  King David and the Lord.  God created in all of them a clean heart.  He did renew a right spirit within David. 

Give the Lord time to help you.  He is the Master Healer.  It may seem “long awaited.”  Hold on tightly to His promises.  He will do what His Word says it will do.  He promises this to you and me.  He never breaks a promise. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

The Legacy of Loneliness

There is no better place for me to share this message except to go back in time to my incarceration in prison in 1976. 

By progression, loneliness has phases in which to understand and be aware of. 

Social loneliness occurs when you feel a lack of a wide social network or broad social connections, such as a lack of friends or acquaintances to be with. 

Emotional loneliness is characterized by the absence of a close, intimate, or attachment figure, leading to a lack of meaningful, supportive relationship. 

Situational loneliness is a type of specific circumstance that stems from a life change like moving to a new place, or the loss of a loved one who suffered a chronic illness.  You loved them all the way to death. 

Chronic loneliness is a severe form that combines social and emotion loneliness, or a prolonged state of both, leading to significant negative impacts on one’s mental and emotional health.  This is where depression sets in, and suicidal thoughts are entertained. 

What about this legacy of loneliness? 

In a maximum-security prison in 1976, I suffered from the effects of 7 years of addiction prior to my prison term.  That itself, created loneliness as I was covering up pain in my heart and secluded myself from the outside world through sticking a needle in my arm daily and injecting drugs.  Several different mind-altering substances that fueled my loneliness. 

Though I was surrounded by 2,300 other inmates, I was a loner and kept to myself.  That gave me one advantage over some of the other men.  I had less of the bad interactions and fights that would have resulted in more pain.  I was already in physical pain from the field work daily, and the pain in my mind from the aftereffects of the addictions and heartaches which accompanied me all the way to prison. 

There was not a social disconnect on my part.  It was more of a survival instinct. 

My decent into depression manifested into a plan to end my life, yet Jesus Christ intervened on my behalf and saved my soul.  That was 49 years ago, and I have been preaching deliverance, forgiveness of sin, and salvation in Christ for a very long time. 

Fear of the unknown is the seed by which loneliness is birthed. 

What was Jesus going through prior to His death on the Cross? 

He was first anticipating abandonment by His Father.  He foretold His disciples would leave Him alone during His arrest and trial, saying, “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home.  You will leave Me all alone.  And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.  These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”  John 16: 32-33. 

On the Cross, Jesus cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”  Matthew 27: 46.  He felt the pain like we do as He was a man and God at the same time. 

He felt loneliness to the maximum level in this life at that moment. 

The only moments of solitude Jesus really had was intentional as He withdrew to quiet, lonely places to pray and connect with His Father. 

An example He leaves with us to do. 

Jesus encouraged His followers to join Him in solitude, encouraging them to find rest and a deeper connection with God in quiet moments. 

How then do we find ourselves as believers in Jesus, in a deep, dark cave of despair?  What happened to us or around us to cause Christians to be so lonely? 

Divorce, abandonment, abuse, disappointments, failures, let-downs, and broken promises are only a few that lend to the spiraling out of control in our faith.  Faith is paramount in rising from the fog of failure or the rejection of others in our lives.  We must, at some point, pull up our bootstraps in prayer, and cry out to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith in Him.  If we can’t do it alone, get spiritual help too. 

Isaiah 43: 19, “Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?  I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” 

This is characteristic of a true promise from God, who is the only One who can do a new thing.  We must position ourselves to overcome our sadness and our sorrow and believe in this one promise above all else.  He can, and He will DO a new thing. 

I needed many new things in the 49 years of serving Jesus Christ. 

Prior to my hour of Salvation on Mother’s Day morning, May 8th, 1977, while inside the chapel in prison, I was two seconds away from my suicide plan.  God rescued me and kept me from my demise because He wanted to do a new thing in me.  He wanted to use my life if I could ever realize that He is the only One who would never break His promise to me.  He is the only One who will never abandoned, reject, abuse, or ridicule me.  

 He is a loving Father and He knows my pains in this life.  He knows yours too.  If He can pull me out of the deepest, darkest depression that I was in; then He can and will do the same for you.  You and I must get to a place where we stop believing the world and the diagnosed labels that the doctors put on us.  It is, in my opinion, demonic to take a small child who has tremendous energy and put them on Ritalin drugs to help with the “hyperactivity.” 

Insanity.   

Do not misunderstand.  I know there are ailments in the body and mind.  I am not ignorant in knowing some people, young or old, suffer with neurological and physical sufferings. 

There is medication that works outside of any surgeries and there are also times when people are mis-diagnosed. 

I ought to know. 

Case in point was in1975 prior to going to prison. 

I had overdosed on Meth, and several other drugs in Austin, Texas.  I was found directing traffic and arrested.  Sent to detox with no medical evaluation while in jail.   Three days and nights of suffering in a detox tank in jail, led me further into my depression.  I was transferred on a police department temporary hold, to the Austin State Hospital for evaluation.  My probation was not revoked.  Not yet anyway. 

I was evaluated alright.  Wrongly diagnosed in my opinion. 

Here I was, only three days of sobriety from a major overdose, and was told by the physician that I was Manic Depressive manic.  No communication.  No talks with me.  No allowing the drugs that I had ingested to be discarded fully from my physical system. 

No other counseling or questions on their part to find out why I had overdosed. 

Had they asked me, I would of probably told them that I had been shooting dope since my mother died four years earlier.  If they had asked me how I felt about her dying and my daddy being murdered three years after mom died, I might have said, “I hate life, and I want to just get high and be left alone.  I might have said that I am sick of living and want to die.” 

No questions.  No answers.  I was given drugs to combat the depression and psychosis. 

Hence, no help, just more addiction.  At least the drugs were legal, and I did not have to drive all over Dallas looking for my connection who had the Meth. 

Here is my point.   

The legacy I was creating from my addicted years that led to the loneliness and despair,  could have been properly diagnosed by the professional doctors.  They might have realized that all I needed was to fully sober up and have some quality counseling or treatment outside of pumping me full of Thorazine and Lithium.  That did not happen. 

I do not harbor any blame or hold on to remorse.  They did the best they could.  

 Enter Jesus. 

HE saved me.  He healed me.  He set me free from all the addictions and He alone, with the Power of the Holy Ghost, infused me with His love and mercy and grace.  His forgiving power set me free and did give me the joy I had been searching for all my life from the time I was born, until I ended up in prison at age 20. 

“Don’t tell me He can’t do it.   

I have seen too much, and I have been a part of seeing thousands come to Christ through the preaching and teaching of God and His Holy Word. 

I have anointed with oil, thousands of men, women and children, and have seen miracle upon miracle both physical ones, and emotional miracles. 

“Who the Son sets free, is free indeed.”  John 8:36. He has truly come to set the captive free.  Not just from prison bars like He did for me.  HE can set us free from all the issues of life that beset humans.  There is nothing impossible for them that believe. 

What does your life look like at this very moment you are reading this story? 

Are you depressed?  Are you lonely?  Are you building a legacy of loneliness because you don’t know what to do? 

Understand this.  It all begins with accepting Jesus into your heart and then trusting Him to fulfill His promise in Psalm 147: 3. “I have come to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.” 

Identify the wounds you have suffered all the way back into your childhood if necessary. 

Lay it all out.  The bad, the ugly, the painful and the impossible. 

Lay it out, then lay it at the feet of Jesus. 

He will destroy the pain.  His power and His love will cleanse us from all unrighteousness, and He forgives and forgets out sins.  His Presence brings liberty and freedom. 

Legacy: Something that is handed down or transmitted from the past to the present or future.  This can refer to a gift of money or property left in a will, but also broadly encompasses a person’s achievements, values, or character; traditionally; the lasting impact of several events, actions, or ideas; or a person with a familial connection to a history of good education or moral training. 

Legacy only counts if loneliness and despair are not attached to it.  Otherwise, you are leaving behind a history of pain which can be spiritually transferred to your children and grandchildren.  The curse must be broken, and it is broken once you are saved and set free by Jesus Christ.  My two sons will never be drug addicts or prisoners. 

It is the best legacy I can leave to them.  Not money, but Jesus.  That is a legacy worth leaving behind. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Three Bucks on a Hill-More to Come

A “stag” is a mature, adult male deer, particularly from a larger species like the red deer or elk.  While “deer” refers to any animal in the Cervidae family, the term “stag” specifically denotes an adult male.  Bucks are also male deer, but the word “stag” is considered more accurate in terms of a fully grown male deer in this larger species. 

I have always wondered about the characteristics of these beasts.  They are distinguished by their large, branching antlers, which grow annually and are shed in the winter. 

These “stags” symbolize rebirth, rejuvenation, and adventure due to their cycle of growing and shedding their antlers. 

 

Courage and survival are built into these four-legged male deer.  Often hunted for their rack of antlers, they survive to live and die.  They know how to listen for the hunters who stalk them.  They are keen in their senses including the sense of smell and are often becoming the aggressor when cornered. 

Their lifespan in the wild is between 10-13 years and in captivity, they can live up to 20 years. 

 

“Why all this history about an animal?” 

In many ways, the male species called “man” is also familiar to this wild beast. 

Example: “A little three-year-old boy; if given a Barbie doll, will rip off one leg and use it to act out the sights and sounds of a semi-automatic weapon.  He will use it like a rifle, and “rat-a-tat-tat" his enemies, even if Barbie still has her high heel shoes on. 

 

Boys will be boys, and, in this day and age, I choose to identify as a grown man with a little boy attitude towards mankind.  I am a protector of those I love, and I support the downtrodden.  Like the “stag” deer, I will care for my wounded family in all manner of restoration and healing. 

 

Hence the three bucks, living to die. 

I will use my two grown sons as the example of this story. 

 

I was never to have children according to the expert doctors I saw. 

I had lost all my internal, reproductive plumbing in my last encounter with the Police Department.  I was beaten until I had surgery, and, after the fact, I was deemed sterile with no living fish.  For twenty years after prison, I was told by the medical community that it was impossible to have children.  I had bought the lie in my Christian Walk and received the bad news prior to marriage to my current wife. 

 

I was married in July of 1998, and around November of this same year, my wife came down the stairs in our home to reveal the news.  She sat a paper sack on the living room floor as I watched the gleam in her smile. 

 

I asked her, “Is that my lunch for work today?”  She never said anything except, “Just open it.” 

 

To my amazement, it was a 12-inch-tall plastic baby bottle, filled with pacifiers. 

Stunned, I asked her, “What is going on?” 

 

She stated, “I am pregnant.”  I gasped and thought silently to myself, “Who is the father?” 

 

This is not funny, but true because once you buy the lie from the doctor's report, and once you allow the “news” to penetrate your soul, then there is no hope.  Just like the deer, trying to live to die, my hopes of ever being a father, were long forgotten prior to this day.  I had bought the ultimate lie.  “The doctors must be right.”  

 

Well, they had run their many tests over the years and had confirmed that my reproductive fish were indeed dead.  In fact, I had no fish in the pond to swim upstream or to be used to make a baby to start with.  NO hope. 

 

So, this day brought many tears of joy, knowing God had healed me and on May 13, 2000, my first-born son was born.  Male stag.  14 months from this day, my second buck was born.  Now it is truly, three bucks on a hill.  Living to die.  Living for Jesus and dying to our flesh.  An ongoing process of maturity and growing up to serve the Master Jesus.  All three of us. 

I remember when my first-born was in the womb.  I would talk to this baby by speaking to this God-given, miracle child.  I would get as close to the wife’s tummy as I could and speak loudly, “You are to be a Shepherd.  You will have a Pastor’s heart.” 

 

Then, when my second child was in the womb, I would prophesy again, “You will be a Prophet to the Nations.” 

 

We did not want to know the gender in advance with an ultrasound.  We wanted to live with the surprise of “a boy or a girl.”  Either way, we would give God all the Glory. 

 

Fact is, we had two sons.  Two bucks, to run around with their Daddy like three bucks on a hill. 

 

It is a fact today in 2025, my oldest, who is 25 now, is a Shepherd.  Though he does not Pastor a church, he has the distinct gift from God to “disarm” people, and minister to their hurts and pains.  He is gifted to counsel them according to God’s Word, and all of this comes naturally.  Not because I prophesied this, but it is a fulfillment of God’s promise to me to restore the years the swarming locust have eaten.  

 

Joel 2: 23-37, “Be glad then you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God; for He has given you the former rain faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you, the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. 

The threshing floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil.  So, I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you.  You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; and My people shall never be put to shame.” 

 

Prior to prison, I was a pathetic maniac who had lost many years of my life to addiction.  Violence and attempted murder were part of my police record prior to entering prison at age 20.  I was a sick “stag” with antlers that were broken.  My hide was tough but had many scars from bullet wounds and fistfights.  My hooves were cracked and bleeding from running from the police.  I was running away from life, and God. 

 

Once I was saved by Jesus while still in prison, I had a bunch of growing up to do.  Year after year, I would shed my antlers and try and grow new ones.  Hoping the new antlers would hold up to my traumas in life.  Suffering and pain were very common inside of my broken heart of hearts.  Now I have two stag sons who can avoid the pitfalls I jumped in to with both my feet. 

 

My second son is truly coming into his own as a true minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  He has spoken to many men in prison certain things that only God and the prisoners could know.  He recently spoke prophetically while in a church in the Northwest this last August of 2025.  It is called the gift of discernment and the Word of Knowledge.  His personality is one that is best described when he teaches or preaches as, bold with grace.  “Get in, get out, or get run over, is his way of ministering this Gospel of grace.  He does it with love, but also with a kind of boldness that depicts petting a cat backwards.  “MEOWWWW!”  Scratch and run for the hills. 

 

I see attributes in both of my sons like the stag deer.  They do not really take after me but are using some of my descriptive stories in their ministry endeavors to teach people more about what NOT to do, rather than TO DO.  Both have their Daddies DNA, but the Spirit of the Lord is in both, as they pursue the hills to climb in this life. 

 

I can’t be here forever as the “Old Pop” one of them refers to me as.  I am the old buck on the hill.  Yes, I am living, but I am really dying to self-daily to be the best version of Jesus I can be.  I am human and am weak and frail at times.  I am the old stag who has run up many mountains.  I have crawled on my belly in the valleys of sorrow I have experienced.  I have shed my antlers, repeatedly, that many times, were twisted and broken as they grew out.  Deformed and unhealthy. 

 

Time ticking by and trials have taken their toll on my body.  I have hooves that are sore and that need stag-shoes nailed to them to endure the rocks and stones of the pathways I tread upon. 

 

These three bucks on the hills of life are trying their best to be themselves.  We are trying to be a little bit like Jesus, enduring hardships as they come.  Never giving up.  Never quitting as we are the “hunted” by the enemy of our souls.  We are fighters.  Not quitters. 

We fight the good fight of faith, and we strive to lay hold of eternal life which is ours in Christ Jesus. 

 

Like father like son, is an over-statement.  I do not want my boys, who are grown men now, to be like me.  I want them to be like Jesus.  Tough skinned and tender hearted. 

Eventually they will get old like me should the Lord not come back yet.  They will learn to shed the tough skin or hide that reveals their own scars.  They will remain tender hearted towards the Lord Jesus Christ. 

 

My oldest “stag” is 25 and now married to the love of his life.  She is his doe.  The best mate he could ever “rut” over and win to his heart.   He is her buck.  Together they make a fine wine, aged with time and better as the years pass.  My prayer is for them to remain faithful to each other as they stay true to Jesus.  He is the leader of their hearts. 

 

My youngest, who is 24, is pursuing his dream up in the Northwest.  He flew the coop last evening on September 2, 2025.  His heart is to be like Jesus too.  He is a man of God who wants to have God continue to “create in me a clean heart O God and renew a right spirit within me.”  Psalm 51: 10.   

 

Like David in the Bible, my youngest son is becoming a king of sorts.  His heartfelt plea for divine purification and spiritual renewal after his faults, is a righteous expression of a heart after God’s heart. 

The “Debra” or prophetess and judge of Israel understood oppression.  She lived centuries before David, serving as Israel’s judge during a period of pain before the rise of the monarchy.  Both David, in his time, and her in the time she was a judge, are uniquely significant figures in Israel's history.  Their stories are intertwined.  Like two hearts, connected by fate for a nations Sovereignty.  And restoration. 

 

My prayer for my two bucks today is a simple one.  Let every year be restored.  Let every decision be prayed through.  “Let everyone who has breath, praise the Lord.” 

 

My two sons are living.  Not living to die.  Living to die to the past.  Living to please their Master Jesus.  I am a proud father today.  Very proud of them.  Very proud. 

 

As the days go by, and the three bucks walk slowly down the hill, the two young ones will look behind them briefly.  They will see their Daddy buck, trudging slower and more carefully.  I do not want them to slow down for me.  Please don’t. 

 

Just keep following the footsteps of Jesus.  He will never leave you abandoned. 

 

When my time comes to meet my Master, I will have left behind some hooves in the mud on the hill.  Someday I hope the two of you will go back to the hill you were raised on and look at my last hoof prints.  Look carefully.  See their size and deep measures in the imprints left in the tracks you both walked with him.  If you look closely, you will see that the prints in the mud are not as deep as they were many years ago. 

The reason that they are not as deep is simple.  Back when you were both born, I carried you down the hills in life.  You became heavy over time which left the prints deep and wide. 

It is a good thing to see them after I am gone.  You will notice they are not as deep any longer.  They were intended to be this way now sons.  It is because I am no longer carrying you on my shoulders.  It is not needed anymore. 

 

You both are left behind to be the bucks on the hill now.  Live.  Live to die to this world and its worthless values.  Die to self.  When you both do this, you will find that Jesus becomes the fullness of all your dreams and desires. 

 

Look now off in the distance.  Look into the forest.   

 

Next time you both see a deer on the side of the highway or see a buck running by on the land near Bandera where I now live, remember this story. 

 

Remember, you both were never supposed to be born to live.  You almost did not make it.  But you did.  Now you live. 

 

The sun will set someday and when the darkness of night comes, just remember your place in the herd.  Lead them.  That was what you both were born to do anyway.  You know the way.  He is the Way.  And He is the Truth.  Just like this story.  You both know it is true, and Jesus made the decision to bring you into this herd. 

All we must do is see the forest for the trees.  The other deer are there too.  I know in my heart that the two of you will stand out amongst the herds in life.  You were designed by God to do this. 

 

Someday these two stags will leave their own footprints behind, and they too will leave a mark on this life.  Those imprints are going to tell their own story.  Some old buck left behind the pattern to follow.  Run boys.  Run fast young men. 

Three bucks on a hill.

What a journey we have had.  More to come, I am sure.  Let us pray so. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Missing the Mark

God has a divine standard of righteousness, and humanity, through its sinful nature, consistently fails to meet it, thus missing the mark. 

Of course, no one is perfect as everyone has sinned and fallen short of God’s glory, regardless of their moral or religious background. 

 

Because we consistently “miss the mark,” we are incapable of achieving righteousness or bridging the gap to God through our own efforts or in our own strengths. 

God, through His Son Jesus Christ’s work on the Cross, provides the only way to be forgiven, and restored to Him. 

The only way to “hit the target” of God’s will and His mark, is to correct our position with God through repentance and a true Godly sorrow.  This is the only way to be made right with God. 

The only way to miss this “mark” is to stop paying attention and finding that our attention has been off the target through the many distractions in this life.   If we stay focused, there is no way to miss it. 

First, we must believe that we are saved by Christ in the first place, and that God has a reason and a purpose in our salvation in Jesus.  There is a divine destiny on Earth that we must strive for and fulfill in our lives.  If we do anything else than to complete what He has in store for us, then we not only missed the mark, but we also find that our arrow never really left the bow.  We will always miss all the shots we never take.  It is called faith. 

Paul said, “I press towards the mark or the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 3:14. 

Here is how “pressing in” looks like by describing what it does not look like first. 

Not pressing in comes in many different ways.  When I do not feel good.  When it is not convenient.  Those times that it seems too hard.  When everyone is against me.  When I am confused about what to do and who to do it with. 

It is when we are weak that He becomes strong for us in our daily pressing in. 

Truly there are no excuses for any laziness or complacency in a Christian’s life.  We choose where we spend our time and how we spend our time.  If Jesus is first and foremost, then He will receive all the Glory as we press towards this high calling in Christ that Paul spoke about. 

The Greek word for “sin” is the word hamartia, literally means to miss the mark or to fail in one’s purpose. 

I have around 200 stories from my past where I totally missed the mark, but I will only share one or two. 

It was the day before I got out of prison.  The date was September 18, 1977. 

One day to go to my ultimate freedom.  I was saved and trying to live for Jesus for the last four months of my incarceration.  I was born again on May 8, 1977, which was Mother’s Day morning. 

So, on this September day prior to my final release from the pre-release center near Houston, Texas, I had several prayers and hopes about what to do and where to go.  I was very undecided in my spirit.  Remember, I was a baby in Jesus with the normal spiritual diaper changes needed, and the milk of His Word was very limited in prison. 

I was in malnutrition as an infant in Jesus Christ.  Literally starving and a bit dirty around the edges of my young 21-year-old life.  I needed a diaper change or two. 

I was taken, with around a hundred other men who are getting out soon, to a theatre room with comfortable seating throughout this large room. 

I was sitting on the front row listening to all the things being presented regarding how to function outside of the steel bars and concrete of prison living. 

At the end of the meeting, a man from a ministry in Tyler, Texas came up to me and asked me several questions which I could not answer.  I did not know where I was going or what I was to do with my Christianity. 

Finally, after a few minutes of quizzing me, he said to me, “You need to come to Tyler tomorrow when you get out.”  He knew I was leaving on September 19th, as I told him that when he introduced himself in the beginning of our short conversation. 

He went on and invited me to the ministry there and that he had a bed for me, and that I could work a job and begin, what he saw in me, regarding ministry.  One of his first questions to me was, “Do you know you have a call of God on your life?” 
I answered him, “I don’t know.”  (Like a sniveling puppy with a thorn in his paw.) 

So, I had my answers from the Lord as to where to go and what to do.  The Holy Ghost set me up the day before I was to leave with both answers to my original prayers I had prayed.  “Where was I going, and what was I to do?”  I had a mark and a direction to aim at.  Clear and concise.  No need to guess any longer for my future. 

I never got on the bus to go to Tyler.  I had money and I had the God plan, but I ignored it, and thought that I could come later after my vacation I wanted to take.  I had been in prison and, by all means, I deserved a vacation.  That was not God.  That was me being selfish. 

A few weeks went by, and I ended up in a town near my Aunt Wanda.  I never went to Tyler. 

I missed the mark.  In fact, I was never able to hit that mark because I felt so guilty and shameful for letting the Lord down.  I never went and fulfilled God’s calling until many years later.  It was 1991 when I finally surrendered to God and His will for my life, and I have never turned back since then.   

It is now 2025, and I have been preaching in prisons all over America and beyond for 34 years.  To God be the Glory for taking me back and cleaning me up and feeding me the nourishment I needed.  No excuses for me once I grew up.  Got to leave the nest eventually.  I did, and I have never looked back. 

The sins of commission, which is doing what is wrong, are different than the sins of omission.  Failing to do what is right is a sin when we know what we should do, but do not do it.  We fail for many reasons, but both sins keep us from hitting the mark or target. 

Therefore, to him that knows to do right, and does not do it, to him it is sin.  James 4: 17. 

I have known to do right in the 48 years since the day of my Salvation in Christ.  I have chosen over all these years to do wrong, hundreds of times.  “Why may you ask?”  Several reasons. 

One, is the fact that, even though I was a believer in Jesus, I still had a broken heart and was spiritually bleeding to death.  I had to have my heart healed.  That day came in 1994. 

Another reason was not understanding God’s will and trying too hard to find it.  We do not have the right to bounce from church to church to find God’s will.  We should never go online and look for a prophetic word from a so-called prophet.  That too is hogwash. 

My financial decisions that were made back then, were not properly prayed through on my part.  This cost me a bunch of time and money which was wasted, thinking it was God’s will.  All along there were red flags that it was not God’s will.  Pride kept me from making good decisions when it came to money back in the 1990’s. 

I remember hearing a message on prosperity in a mega-church one morning, and how the “man of the home” should be the priest of his home, and that he should believe God by sowing into that ministry.   

Nothing wrong with sowing finances into a ministry that has good soil.  In hindsight, I remember I sowed for the wrong reasons.  Many of my decisions were selfish.  I wanted to look the part of the Christian who is prospering.  I did not want people to think that I was not “blessed” and that my soul was prospering in the way that the preacher said it should.  In other words, I put the cart before the horse.  I had no horse-sense.  I was like a mule in my heart.  “Hee-Haw.” 

I took my older car into a dealership and traded it for a brand-new Lincoln Town Car.  I wrote a check to cover the down payment.  The only problem was, I did not have the money in my account to cover the down payment yet.  I had been promised some money over that weekend, and it did not materialize.  I was going to make the check good by Monday, but the check went through too early.  To make a long story shorter, the check was bouncing all over that new car dealership floor. 

I could not make it good in time, and the dealership called me. 

I went to the dealership office and talked with the manager.  He was about ready to call the police to turn me in for a bounced check which was large enough for a felony, not a misdemeanor.   

“Boy, did I pray.” 

Silently, I repented and said to the Lord, I will never do that again.  I was stupid and greedy and wanted to be something I was not for the sake of other people looking at me “prospering.” 

The moment in my silent prayer when I said, “In Jesus name, amen,” the manager left the office and said he was going to make that call to the police. 

Ten minutes went by as I was looking out his glass window of the office towards the main street in front of the dealership.  I was looking for the black and white cop cars that were to arrive in minutes. 

Fear.  Not fear of the unknown.  But fear that I was going to be arrested for fraud or whatever the charges were going to be.  Jail was waiting for me.   

Explain that to your Pastor. Better yet, explain that to my future wife.  “OUCH!”  

She had no idea what I was doing.  She did find out though.  Once she saw that new car one evening after I bought it, all she did was shake her head from side to side and rode home with her mother from church.  She refused to ride with me.  She did not want any part of the new leather smell of a new car.  My spiritual stench she smelled was my greed and stupidly.   

After the fact, I had to confess all of this to her and that was painful to say the least. 

Suddenly, the office manager walked back in with my rubber check, and the keys to my old trade-in car, and said, “I am going to unwind this contract and tear up the paperwork you signed.  Here are your keys to your trade in.” 

I handed him the keys to the brand-new Lincoln and ran out as fast as I could without running a sprint.  God redeemed me, but the humility and the embarrassments that followed were too painful to explain.  It is a wonder that my future bride did not explode on me.  She wanted to, but because the Holy Spirit showed her what “not” to say, she left me alone in my temporary misery.  I missed the “mark.” 

My bank also called me in and shut down my checking account.  I had to pay the fees for that bounced check, and they had every right to legally pursue charges as well.   God redeemed that too.  Not because I was a Christian.  But because He knew I would learn a valuable lesson about money and prestige.   

Lesson number one:  All money I earn or is given to me for ministry purposes belongs to Jesus Christ.  He is my banker, and He decides where it should go.  Secondly: there is no prestige to be had.  Thirdly: “IF we do not understand or fully learn these two lessons and decide to be stupid again, then we must refer back to lessons one and two.”  Hopefully we will learn the first time.  I did.  The pride and ignorance on my part were because I did not trust God.  I trusted my instincts. 

No more merry-go-round with money for me.  I learned a hard and fast lesson about my soul prospering. 

The mark that I should have aimed my arrow at was truly a target of honesty and integrity. 

James 1: 14 declares, “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.” 

I should have known better, but the world and my lust of my own flesh and the lust of my eyes and the boastful pride of life, (1st John 2: 16) hooked me like a catfish eating raw liver bait.  I swallowed the bait and almost died financially and spiritually. 

1st John 3:4, “Whosoever commits sin, transgresses also the law; for sin is the transgression of the law.”  Meaning, that this lawlessness emphasizes that it’s not just about specific actions but a disregard for God’s law and His will.  It highlights that sin is a transgression against God’s commands and a rejection of His authority.  The verse serves as a strong condemnation of sin and a call to repent and then learn a lesson to avoid it completely.  Repeating this insanity, will cost us more than we are willing to pay. 

When you and I get duped into temptation by our own personal lusts, we look back and can’t see the mark any longer.  It is too far away, in a sense, to see because our sin is fogging up our eyes with darkness.  Subtly at first.   

Then, by continuing in it, the spiritual color begins to change.  Next is the gray area. Then charcoal, then full-blown darkness.  Blindness ensues and it is very painful to get our sight back because only the Holy Spirit can help us to see again.  Outside of this, the man-made efforts to live clean in an unclean world is just a mirage.  Our own strength fades in time, and we come to the end of our rope, holding on for dear life. 

I would rather repent early on and avoid the consequences of a long-term sinful decision or decisions which will cost much more than our money or time. 

So, next time we pull out our bow and our quiver, and reach in for that arrow, stop.  Think.  Pray. And then pray some more.  

 If you and I do not have any peace about a decision; seek the Lord.  Get counsel that comes with someone who has more integrity than yourself if need be.  The Lord Jesus will give us our answer.   

We will never hear God’s YES answer, until we obey the NO answer that has already been given to us by the Lord.  Just a thought. 

I would rather hit the mark in the center of the target. 

Practice makes perfect.  Better yet; perfect practice will keep us from missing the mark.  We will not be perfect because faith will force us to live by its laws.  Faith keeps us humble in seeking to try and hit the mark. 

“Because without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly and diligently seek Him.”  Hebrews 11: 6.   

We must attain ears to hear and the eyes to see what the Lord Jesus wants for us.  Without it, we will never hit that mark. 

“How is your eyesight today?” 

 Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Restoration Prison Ministry: September 2025 Newsletter

September-2025

Dear Partners,                                                                                                                   

 

Time seems to keep moving faster than we want to, yet much is happening regarding the prisons and the changes I see in the men.  The weekly class I do in a prison about an hour from home, is becoming a true harvest field for souls. 

 

Men come every time to the altar for prayer.  Either they are surrendering to Christ for the first time, or they are re-affirming their faith.  Many come to be set free from their past issues from life.  Last Tuesday, 70 men were at the altar for prayer for many different reasons.  It is always my honor to pray for their needs and agree with them according to God and His Word. 

 

James 5:16-18 declares several truths.  “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avail much.  Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months.  And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit.” 

 

At the altar weekly in this prison, God is producing much rain.  Though the men feel they are in a spiritual drought, the rain of God and His mercy and grace, floods their individual souls and the healing process begins.  Repeatedly, I see this as the Lord moves upon the men's hearts weekly.  It is His Word and His presence that causes the changes.  I am humbled weekly that the Lord uses me to deliver the message and it is always a miracle to see the Lord Jesus change men.  One soul at a time. 

 

Fervent prayers are ones that are passionate, intense, and wholehearted, reflecting a deep earnestness and commitment to God. 

Effectual prayers emphasize that the prayer is productive, capable of producing the desired result, and powerful in its outcome. 

“A righteous man” implies that a person whose life is rightly ordered before God, leading to a connection with Him that makes their prayers powerful. 

 

Please continue to pray for this weekly meeting as the Lord is doing a great work in the Torres Unit prison in Hondo, Texas. 

This upcoming September 7th will be another great time of ministry at the Ferguson Unit prison in Midway, Texas.  I will be traveling the four hours from home on the Saturday prior to the three church services inside this maximum-security prison. 

 

The first service is at 8 a.m. Sunday morning in the main unit inside the Prodigal  
Son Chapel.  The very chapel that I was born again in 1977 awaits the message of hope that the Lord will give me for that service. 

 

Following this service, I will go next door to the trustee camp for an 11 a.m. service to those men who live there.  The are deemed “trustees” because they are short on the time to finish their sentences and the fact they had to earn the right to live there.  This prison is a minimum-security prison without the guard towers and razor wire that exist just a few blocks away at the main unit. 

 

After this, I will return to the main unit at 6 p.m., for my last service.  There will be approximately 200 to 300 men in attendance in the main unit for both of those services, and around 70 men who will come to the trustee camp church service. 

 

This is a great opportunity for the Lord to win many to Christ and for me to be able to pray for as many who want prayer.  “What a great day it will be this weekend when men will go from darkness to His marvelous Light in a born-again moment.”  Please pray for this outreach as I know you do, and I am always thankful to know there are many of our partners interceding for this soul winning effort. 

Another reminder for you to pray about is the upcoming December 7th meeting at Ferguson.  I will be prayerfully giving out soap and Christmas cards to all 2,300 men who live there.  Your continued support to help me fulfill ordering these two items in bulk is always appreciated.  I am going to order them by the end of September to allow plenty of time for the soap and Christmas cards to arrive. 

 

Bless you for all you do.   

 

Sincerely, Joe Wilkins 

https://www.anewthingsee.com/

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

In Snow White, when the Queen spoke those words about “who’s the fairest of them all,” I do not think she was really asking a question.  Did she really want to know the truth, or did she want the mirror to tell her what she wanted to hear? 

 

It is like the people in this world trying to find out who they are and why they were born. 

Mirrors are interesting things.  They serve one purpose.  They reflect back what is put in front of them.  It seems that they simply tell us the unfiltered truth.  However, when we look into a mirror a strange process takes place. 

 

The image that we see before us is both accurate and distorted.  It is accurate because the mirror shows us what we actually look like at any given moment.  With women, before and after makeup tells the truth of their beauty.  At least the outward beauty. 

 

The mirror does not have any Photoshop filters to take away our blemishes or make us look younger than we are.  Mirrors are painfully accurate.  “Don’t stare too long and frighten yourself.” 

 

The backwards image we see reminds us that there are two ways that we can see ourselves, and these two ways are in constant battle. 

The first way is the raw truth about who we really are.  Especially when no one is around for us to pretend in front of. 

The second way is the distorted image that we believe about ourselves.  Every natural blemish can be a reminder of a hurt we suffered at the hands of someone who said they loved us. 

 

2nd Samuel 12: 1-4, “Then the Lord sent Nathan to David.  And he came to him and said to him: ‘There were two men in one city, one rich and the other poor.  The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and herds.  But the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb which he had bought and nourished; and it grew up together with him and with his children.  It ate of his own food and drank from his own cup and lay in his bosom; and it was like a daughter to him.  And a traveler came to the rich man, who refused to take from his own flock and from his own herd to prepare one for the wayfaring man who had come to him; but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.” 

This story goes on to prove David’s anger and his final realization that he had sinned, so he spoke back to Nathan.  “I have sinned against the Lord.”  

 

 David had issues resulting in chaos and turmoil.   

And Nathan said to David, “The Lord has put away your sin; you shall not die.”  

 

David figured out quickly that the sword of his behavior would never depart his house.  He knew that the death of the child born to David, from Uriah’s wife would never live.  When that news came to him from whispering servants that the child had died, (vs 19) David knew his fasting and prayers for the child to live were in vain.  He went on to eat the food set before him, rather than weeping and repenting. 

 

It is like looking into that distorted mirror for our own selves.  We see that we are a sinner.  We know that our lifestyle without Christ in it, is causing things around us to die.  Our “sword” will not depart either, until we have a different look into the mirror God has in store for us to look into.  It will reveal our walk with Him, or our stumbling around the Cross as if to run and try to hide from the truth of God’s love for us.   

 

We can run, but we can’t hide forever.  We are either looking into a distorted view of our life, or we see Jesus in our eyes staring back at us.  Mirror, mirror on the wall.  “Who is the sinner amongst us all?”  It was David.  And us too, until we repent and ask Jesus to save our souls. 

 

Even after David lay with Bathsheba in adultery, and bore the first child who died, David was legitimately married to Bathsheba later, and she bore a son Solomon in Jerusalem. 

What a heavy price to pay for lust and murder.  David eventually cried out to God: 

“Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.  Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.  Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones You have broken may rejoice.  Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities.  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me by Your generous Spirit.”  Psalms 51: 6-12. 

 

Repentance by David.   

It is the mirror, mirror on the wall of our hearts that we must look deeply into.  It is better to look sooner, rather than later.  Otherwise, we grow old and try to “wish upon a star.” 

 

The Bible says that David was a man after God’s own heart, and God made him a promise that his house would be great.  David seemed to be the perfect balance between a humble man who trusted and served God and a King.  And then it happened. 

 

David gave into the greatest temptation.  He believed that his power and authority was his and gave him special privileges.  He believed he had the right to stay home from the battlefield and let others do his fighting.  When he saw a beautiful woman named Bathsheba, he believed he had the power to take her.  It did not matter to David that she was married. 

David abused his power all in the name of the Lord and placed his own desires, power, and privilege as his god. 

 

I did the same thing to a degree in the early 1970’s. 

I remember the day I had to finally look into a real mirror. 

It was March 12, 1974, my 18th birthday.  I was to see my Daddy this day to pay back ten cents I had borrowed from him when I was very young.  I had purposed to be sober this day.  I went to his apartment to do the right thing for a change. 

I was a full-blown drug addict with a $200.00 a day Meth habit, along with the alcohol, Marijuana and L.S.D. that I ingested too. 

I was an out of control 18-year-old boy trying to be a man.  Not a man after God’s own heart.  I had the heart of Satan, and several demons lived inside my soul and manifested in various ways.  Armed robberies.  Assaults, and finally two attempted murders to name a few.  Burglary, carrying illegal weapons, and breaking in and entering residences.  This all included stealing out of cars that were parked in the parking lots of high-end restaurants. 

This birthday was to be special for me and for my Daddy. 

 

I ruined this day.  I broke my Daddy’s heart and drove away from his apartment. 

Before I burned rubber out of the parking lot, I got a glimpse of myself in the rear-view mirror.  I was looking into this mirror, not at myself at first, but at my Daddy standing in the parking lot screaming at me, “Come back son, I am sorry, come back Joe!” 

 

I never went back to my Daddy and his tear-filled eyes. 

 

I stopped at the stop sign to turn left.  I looked into the same rear-view mirror and realized, for a moment, what I had turned into. 

An insane, drug addict who just broke his father’s heart. 

 

Regrets?  Too many to remember. 

I was looking into a mirror which reflected backwards into my blood-shot eyes. 

I saw nothing good.  I saw an inane, inept, high school dropout.  I dropped out and dove into drugs and the lifestyle of the 1970’s counterculture. 

Daily living was a joke.  I was not living.  I was dying a slow death and headed to hell. 

My mirror was cracked with a history of abuse in my childhood.  There were spider-web style cracks all over the mirror of my heart.  Broken, shattered shards of neglect and conflict within our home.  It is no wonder that I ended up in prison.  I was destined for this life behind bars because my self-esteem was nonexistent.  I did what was expected of me.  Go to school.  I quit in my sophomore year, one year after my mother died from cancer. 

I basically quit life, yet Jesus never quit on me. 

 

There are four mirrors in life we must look at. 

Number One:  The mirror of the world. 

The mirror of the world gives us a blurry reflection.  Secular culture sets a standard of what is valued in women, and in men.  Exterior beauty in women, and muscular torsos in men are the gold standard of worth.  We see this in commercials, on the big screen, in photos and pictures on Instagram, in advertisements, and even in music.  These images send constant messages of “what is beautiful.” 

Today, social media, (nonexistent in the 1970’s) and the images of so-called successful people, tell us how to dress, act and think and live.  The gold standard is tarnished in my opinion.  God looks at the heart, not the outward man or woman. 

If we continue to stare at ourselves through the lenses of social media and how many “followers” we have, then we are doomed to have a cracked mirror.  It will crumble down, just like the glass house I lived in as a child. 

 

Secondly:  The mirror of our relationships: 

The mirrors of our relationships are not just reflective of the women we are today or the macho men who are trying to look and act a certain way.  It reflects more than image.  Our relationships are cluttered with images of who we were in the past, who we are today, and who we hope to be in the future.   

 

This includes our childhoods, youth, and any traumas we may have experienced.  I call it spiritual baggage.  Advise: talk about all your hidden baggage prior to marriage so your spouse will understand your quirks and have a Godly perspective about your need for healing from Jesus Christ.   

 

Our relationships reflect our dreams and our hopes for a better future.  Painful and positive experiences shape us daily.  Emotions are what make us human.  Not robotic or artificial. 

God gives us emotions and feelings as a guidance system for us to navigate our actions, and therefore our lives. 

Choose wisely who you plan to live with in marriage for the long haul.  They may snore so buy plenty of ear plugs or box fans to drown out the noise. 

 

Thirdly: Mirror of Religion: 

The mirror of religion reflects a shattered kaleidoscope of images back at us.  Institutional religion is the cause of pain all over the world.  The perversion of religion and the inhuman treatment of people in the “name of religion” is unspeakable.  People say, “Why don’t I go to church?”  Because I went once and did not fit into the rules and the categories, they tried to put me in.  Not to mention the Gospel preached was not the Gospel of Jesus in the way He wanted it proclaimed. 

Christians are the only army in the world that shoot their own wounded.  Fact. 

 

Lastly: Mirror of God’s Word: 

The mirror of the Word of God is clear and perfected.   

“If someone listens to God’s Word but does not do what it says, he is like a person who looks at his face in a mirror, studies his features, goes away, and immediately forgets what he looks like.  However, the person who continues to study God’s perfect teachings that make people free and who remains committed to them, will be blessed.  People like that don't merely listen and forget; they actually do what Gods' teachings say.  If a person thinks that he is religious but can’t control his tongue; he is fooling himself.  That person’s religion is worthless.” James 1: 22-27. 

 

When we look into this mirror, we learn to lead with our ears, then with our mouths.  Our actions will follow our words. 

 

God’s mirror always reveals our flaws.  We see where we need to repent.  We always see in this mirror, our Savior Jesus who died for us personally.  We see that by believing in Him.  We can be changed forever.   

 

God’s mirror is the only mirror that can create true beauty. 

No makeup needed in His mirror. 

 

“Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart.”  Proverbs 27:19. 

“OH, mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” 

 

Jesus is the fairest One of all.  

 He is the perfect ONE.  Fair and equal in justice too.  His perfection through the power of the Holy Ghost, will look deeply into our hearts and He will fill us with His love and His purity.  His wholeness becomes our wholeness.  And His acceptance of us, just the way we are, requires no mirror at all. 

 

“Good luck next time Snow White.”  Jesus is not a fairytale.  Thank God for that. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Forgive, Forget and Let Go

“HE is more than enough”

 

The title of this is a mouthful and very challenging if we try and do things the Bible way.  As human beings, the difficulty is in our memory. 

How do we truly release past hurts by choosing forgiveness?    

First, we must be forgiven my Jesus through repentance and believing on His Name.   

Releasing is a process of elimination.  This does not mean erasing our memories but rather releasing bitterness and letting God handle justice.  We must eliminate the roadblocks to our healing. 

Biblical principles show God’s complete forgiveness for us, and His Word will encourage processing our pain, trusting God to heal, and not allowing resentment to control our lives.  If not handled properly, we will have stunted, spiritual growth.  In fact, we will stop growing and wither on the vine.  That withering will lead to death in our spirit and will cause physical and emotional disease to creep in many times. 

Jeremiah 31: 34 declares, “No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the Lord.  For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” 

Let us unpack this scripture.   

This scripture is directed regarding the prophesy about a new covenant that God will make with Israel.  This new covenant is characterized by God writing His laws on the heart of His people, resulting in an internal desire to obey.  God promises a personal relationship where everyone will know Him, their iniquity will be forgiven, and their sins will be remembered no more. 

It is important not to isolate this text from its context.  The new covenant is to be accompanied by a repopulation of the land and a rebuilding of Jerusalem.  This promise is given to a dispirited people in exile.  Unless the new covenant is God’s promise for this specific group of people, it then, is a promise for no one else. 

Israel must repent. 

What does this have to do with forgiveness and forgetting and letting go? 

Forgiveness allows for a personal freedom from the past, a necessary act for spiritual well-being, and a reflection of God’s grace, rather than a sign of weakness or reconciliation. 

Paul spoke to this in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” 

Paul had many things to let go of regarding his past trials, yet he had perspective of the big picture.  The Cross. 

Past, present and our future.   

Every one of us has all three.   

These questions will remain for all of mankind.  “Are we letting past hurts, and disappointments and pains rule our current life?  Are we bound and under spiritual attack, and do not know that we are?  Is letting God have our pain difficult because we really do not believe He can set us free?  Is our faith in Him based on trust, or hoping for the best outcome?  Is my fear of the unknown keeping me from living in peace?” 

None of those questions are easy to answer. 

Forgiveness is for you, not them: 

Forgiving someone is the only way to set yourself free from the burden of resentment and bitterness.  Notice something.  “Set yourself free.”  It is up to you as much as it is to God to make the decision to be bitter or better.  Once you determine to let go, then God can intervene and help you with His mercy, grace and power to overcome your past. 

Forget isn’t about memory: 

It’s about not letting the past control your present actions or feelings, rather than a complete erasure of the memory.  God “forgets” our sins by not holding them against us, a concept we are called to emulate.  We think we have no power to forgive and forget, yet we have the Holy Spirit living inside us to accomplish His will and in His way.  Our power to forgive is not the same as Jesus forgiving us by dying.  We do not have that resurrection power, but we do have the power of being led by the Spirit of God to let go, once and for all, the things that are currently hindering our growth in Him. 

Letting go frees you: 

Holding onto hurts weighs you and I down and prevents us from living a full life in Christ.  Releasing the pain allows for healing and future growth.  Memories are exactly that.  Memories.  We all have them.   

The key for me was to recognize how my memory attentions and thoughts were coming and then to recognize that memory for what it was.  Number one: I choose not to live in that memory if it was a bad one, only if I let myself dwell on it.   

At some point we must “cast down the images or imaginations that try to exalt themselves above the knowledge of God, bringing every thought (memories too) into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”  2nd Corinthians 10:5. 

Imagine with me for a moment a certain trigger or memory arrives in our mind, and it was because of a certain smell or scene we watched in real life, or even something on television that reminds us of a memory from the past.  Even as far back as childhood.  Visiting the old neighborhood where we lived as a child.  Memories.  Going to the cemetery to lay flowers on the grave of a loved one.  Memories. 

It is at that very moment it happens that we should cast it down in prayer and release ourselves from that attack, especially if it is a memory of pain and hurt. 

It is our responsibility, not God’s, to cast it down.  It is part of life, and life is not fair at times for sure.  No one, especially me, is saying, “Oh, just get over it.”  I am simply saying that we must use the Word of God for what it is.  An instruction manual on how to live this Christian life.  No matter what, we either grow, or we wither. 

Keeping in mind some of us fight sickness and disease and some do not.  Some live long, productive lives, and some die early.  Earlier than we expected.  (Noting the fact my mother died when I was 15 and my daddy was murdered when I was 18.)  Bad memories. 

God has a way of intervening when we do not have the strength to overcome on our own.   

I lived this supernatural strength from the Most High many years ago. 

Nightmares of my past, especially the prison life I lived in 1976 haunted me for years after prison.  There would be times I would dream at night so vividly that it seemed it was happening all over again.  Suddenly waking in a cold sweat and screaming out loud.   

“But it is your past?”  Well, I did not know then how to pray and use God’s Word to my benefit and for my deliverance. 

All the way from 1976 through 1992, I had nightmares at least two times a week.  Consistently. 

I would pray, seek help at times, and read the Bible to no avail. 

I lived with a certain family for a short season, and the first several nights, I had a bed on the couch in the living room.  But I was reliving the nightmares of my childhood traumas and prison to the point that I would wake up and find myself in the entry way of the front door into the living room.  Not on the couch that I fell asleep on.  It was totally demonic.  It was like sleepwalking to the front door wanting to escape so badly that I was trying to leave the very solitude given to me. 

As time went on, I graduated to the couch, and then into my own bedroom.  I did not spend time in a prayer line at a church.  I did not anoint myself with oil.  All I did was pray and pray some more.  Eventually, the nightmares left and never returned. 

The only time I have a dream of prison now is when I am preaching in prison the Gospel of Jesus.  That dream is a reality that I have been doing for almost 40 years.  Not dreaming it.  Living it.  I am living the dream.   

HIS dream. 

Not the American dream.  I am living proof of God transforming a life that once was lost.  I give Him all the Glory for using a former wretch like me. 

I have not had a real nightmare from my past in over 35 years.  Not even once. 

The Lord Jesus has set me free, and I did not know exactly when He did it.  It is His mercy and grace. 

I see true forgiveness as a conscious choice to stop suffering from another’s actions, not a command to erase the memory of the offense. 

Bitterness destroys: 

Unresolved anger and bitterness can destroy the person holding onto it, affecting their thoughts, and how they process the thoughts.  Their feelings get damaged in their emotional state which they become no longer able to view the world around them in any positive light. 

We choose what we lose.  It is a conscious and deliberate action on our part to say, “I am done with living this way, and I will not let my past and the memories it holds, rule and reign in my heart and mind any longer.” 

Only prayer and a direct touch from the Holy Spirit can provide the power needed for you or me to truly “overcome by the Blood of the Lamb (Jesus) and then have the word of our testimony” prevail over our pasts.   

Sometimes we get so exhausted re-living the past that even a good night’s sleep will not stop the torment.  We do have an enemy of our souls who would love nothing better than to steal, kill and destroy what is left of our lives. 

We can get better, once bitterness leaves our soul. 

Acknowledge and process the pain: 

Only allow yourself to feel the emotions related to your past hurts in the presence of God.  Worship and pray and speak His Word over your life, and during this, remind yourself of those hurts that have hindered you, and at the same moment, cast them all under your feet where they belong.  Pulverized.  All of this takes time, and the resolve and resolute evidence will come as the “joy of the Lord Jesus.”  You will experience your freedom in the way the Lord Jesus has planned for you.  He is not a cookie-cutter God. 

It is not God’s intention for His children to live on a rollercoaster of emotions daily. 

Trials come and trials go.  The question will remain steadfast in our souls.  “Am I free, or am I seeking freedom?”  Both are good. 

It is when we stop believing for freedom, is when we die in our spirit. 

Trusting God’s justice for your life is paramount to the freedom journey we are all on.  Justice may not seem attainable until we are in Heaven.  It makes no sense that some wicked people seem to prosper and be happy while some Christians are miserable and broke. 

 

I have been in many trials.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is not just about justice.  It is about forgiveness in the justice process.  Like court.  Guilty or not guilty.  Freedom or incarceration.  The results of the trial are mostly found within the evidence presented to the judge. 

I only trust the process if it is laced with God’s will for my life.  He is not a Savior waiting to hit you and me with His rod of correction.  “Thy rod and Thy staff comforts” me, the 23rd Psalm alludes to. 

Ask yourself a question after reading this.   

“If I, as a believer in Jesus and have been born again according to John 3: 3; live a miserable broken-hearted Christian life, then how can I have my brokenness healed?  What do I do?  How do I do it?  Who can I trust to get me through this hurricane-style storm of pain and hurt that haunts me daily?” 

I do not have all the answers why good people suffer.  I know this world is going from order to disorder rapidly.  It is part of God’s redemption plan through Christ. 

I do know this.  Jesus Christ loves all of us the same.  He does not show partiality in His love and grace.  He wants the best for us while we are on this earth.  He simply calls us to be His servant. 

However, like Paul, I have learned to be contented with little, and with much. 

Contentment begins in the heart.  Peace flourishes within the trials when we know WHO is in the boat with us as the raging storms of life hit us unexpectedly. 

Jesus forgives.  Jesus Saves.  Jesus holds not even one drop of His shed Blood to Himself.  He gave it all.  All to Him I owe.  My sin has left a crimson stain; He washes it white as snow. 

Forgive, forget and let go?  Easier said than done.  We all must start somewhere. 

I love the old saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over, expecting different results.” 

Nothing wrong with our routine in serving the Master Jesus.  Spiritually keep doing what works and leads you to the freedom He offers all of us. 

If we are forgiven by Him, then we can forget our pasts.  We can forgive those who have played a part in our misery.  Letting go takes time. 

None of us are whole yet.  We won’t be completely whole until we are with Him. 

The journey is hard.  The roads are rocky at times.  The outcomes do not always play out the way we want.  We must pray.  If we stop praying, then we will not forgive, forget or let go.  Ever.  Never. 

If prayer does not work, then why do we keep praying?  Well, prayer does work in God’s timing, not ours.  I keep praying for freedom for those who may read this.  He waits for you to pray.  He has a pardon for you from your pain. 

He is the ultimate vindicator. 

“He is the Lord and God has highly exalted Him and has given Him the name that is above every name, and every knee should bow, of those in Heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father.”  Philippians 2: 9-11. 

Your freedom lies at the foot of the Cross.  Wait no longer in your pain.  Confess Him as Lord.  Ask for forgiveness, even while you are in pain.  He will heal you.  He will forgive you.  It is His nature.  It is what He does.  He does it best. 

I can’t and would not try and live anyone’s life.  He chose me to bear fruit.  Fruit that remains.  I do not make light of your current storm and your on-going pain.  Keep fighting the good fight of faith and lay hold of eternal life which is yours in Christ Jesus. 

If there were easy answers to life and all the calamity it offers, then we would all get on board that ship. 

All I know is what I have lived thus far. 

I have fought the good fight of faith.  I have overcome much.  Not all, but many things. 

I did not do any of it on my own.  Jesus Christ was with me guiding me even when I did not feel His presence. 

Deuteronomy 31: 6 declares, “Be strong (in HIM) and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them (anything) for the Lord your God goes with you, and He will never leave you or forsake (abandon) you.” 

I believe this, and I hold this scripture in my heart for myself, and for you. 

Winners never quit, and quitters never win. 

I choose to rely on Jesus, whether I win or not.  Life is not a game we play.  Life is a journey to His nail-pierced hands. 

Be strong.  Stay strong in Him.  He is enough.  He is more than enough. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Love is More than “A Many Splendored Thing”

The Greeks had several words for “love.”  Agape loves as is. 

The best that we can give.  Conclusion: Instead of suggesting that you go out and love, I would suggest that you just get filled with God and His perfect love for you and mankind. 

For a word that we all use so often, love is a very difficult word for us to define.  I looked up love in the dictionary and found that it is both a noun and a verb.  It has eleven different definitions.  Love has to do with God. 

It has to do with sex.  It has to do with romance.  It even has to do with tennis, of all things. 

I tried to picture a young couple, dating, attracted to each other.  He schedules a romantic evening.  They go to a restaurant that’s far too expensive for his budget.  Keeping in mind he is 24 years young. 

Afterwards they go out on a warm, moonlit night, and sit on a park bench overlooking the lake.  He holds her hand and realizes that tens of millions of times, men have said to women “I love you.” 

And somehow, he is fearful that she would not get all that was meant and the full definition of what he said. 

And so, he looks into her eyes, and having checked it out in the dictionary, he says, “I have tender and passionate affections for you as a member of the opposite sex.” 

That does not capture all that love is about, and it breaks the romance of the moment. 

In English we have only one word for love.  I think that this is unfortunate.  The ancient Hebrews had the same dilemma.  “Ahab” was the ancient Hebrew word, and all different shades of love had to be captured in that single term. 

The Greeks had far more.  Storge was probably one of the most frequent uses of love that the Greeks had in their language.  It referred to the love between a parent and a child, especially between a mother and a child. 

“But what does the Bible say about love?” 

Agape, a selfless, unconditional love that prioritizes the well-being of others. 

It is not primarily a feeling, but a decision to act in the best interest of others, even when it’s difficult or unappealing.  This love is exemplified by God’s love for humanity, demonstrated through the sacrifice of Jesus dying on the Cross of Calvary. 

I never knew about love as a child.  Growing up in a family where love was displayed by giving us toys, or a pet, or simply letting us play outside in the rain. 

A pet or toy never works if that is the only way love in a home is rendered. 

Jesus was not part of my childhood, and I found true love later in life while in prison.  As a matter of fact, I wrote the following poem while incarcerated in 1976. 

 

“True Love”

 

As I grew up, I needed to be loved.  I had to beg, at times, while thinking of.  The love –substitutes that were given to me; like a shepherd dog and parakeet. 

All I really wanted, though, were four words from my parents like, “I love you, Joe.”  And during all that time, I waited patiently, but it never came true for me. 

Those bedtime stories were never told.  And, before I knew it, I was getting old.  My heart grew harder as I waited there.  Waiting for my parents to truly care. 

To say “I love you” without the love, is a gesture of selfishness; they must be dreaming of.  To show your love, with a pet or toy, is a counterfeit way of expressing joy. 

All I wanted in my childhood prime was for them to try and spend some time.  They say “love” is spelled: T.I.M.E.  Is that so hard for them to see?   

Where were their hugs and kisses sweet?  “Why can’t I hear my parakeet?”  These substitutes for the love I crave are hidden away, in a makeshift grave. 

All I wanted is gone, for now.  I’ll look for love again somehow.  I can’t find my shepherd dog today.  He too has left and run away. 

 

See, time passed slowly while I was in this maximum-security prison in Texas at age 20.  I could almost hear the clock on the wall that never existed in there.  No calendars.  No wrist watches allowed.  Time.  Tick tock, the pendulum swings. 

Once I got saved in prison in 1977, and the Lord began this “love” relationship with me, everything changed. 

1st Corinthians 13: 4-8, describes the truth about love, and as Christians, we try and measure up to this lifelong struggle to accomplish every word in the following scripture. 

 

“Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.  It does not demand its own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.  It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”  New Living Translation. 

 

That is a bunch to live up to and I do not believe any human being ever master's all of that.  We strive to be like Jesus and try and let love rule in our mortal bodies. 

This agape love was not used very often in the Greek language and was especially infrequent in Greek literature that we can read from those ancient times.  It was the Greek word agape, and it was in many ways quite different from the other terms for love that the Greeks used.  It was not really centered in the relationship to the other person or in the attractiveness of the other person; but was more centered on the person who does the loving. 

Every single person, (not single as in not married) wants to be loved in this life. 

Some of us just want to be held.  Others will be glad to have a handshake or a pat on the back.  Others of us want to be important to someone.  Anyone. 

We want love to matter whether we come in late or don’t come home at all at night.  We want to have someone who will stand up for us and believe in us.  The problem with all of these things is that so much is dependent upon our desirability. 

If we look good, we are attractive in the sensuous ways to the opposite sex. 

If we believe we are to behave as we are supposed to behave, then maybe we’ll have friends who will like us and will hang out with us.  If we meet our parents’ expectations, or at least what we think to be our parents’ expectations, then maybe they’ll approve, then maybe they will love us and show us some sort of affections. 

 

Dogs, birds, toys and tucking yourself into bed by yourself is insanity.  That was my childhood in a nutshell within a nuthouse in my emotions.  I was in an insane asylum in my heart, looking for a way out of the “cuckoo’s nest.”  Someone has to fly over.  Hopefully. 

I would have loved to be the one who flew out of the coop.  I did eventually when Mom and Daddy died.  I was truly looking for love in all the wrong places. 

 

Like Johnny Lee’s song, “Lookin’ for Love,” the lyrics rang out to my heart. 

“I was lookin’ for love in all the wrong places, Lookin’ for love in too many faces, searching their eyes for traces of what I’m dreaming of. 

Hoping to find a friend and a lover, I’ll bless the day I discover another heart lookin’ for love.  And I was alone then, no love in sight, and I did everything I could to get me through the night.” 

 

This song reflected the life I lived after prison.  Yes, I was born again and loved Jesus with all my heart.  I was so immature as a young believer, that I had the wrong definition of love in my mind at that time.  I became like that song by Johnny Lee.  I was looking for love in all the wrong places.  Honky Tonks are not going to produce a Christian bride.  “Ya, think?” 

Example number one: I had a horrible childhood and the representation of love in the Wilkins home was non-existent.  No Jesus, No peace.  Know Jesus, know peace.  Classic Christian bumper sticker in the 1990’s.  The love of God was not in my childhood home. 

So, after prison at age 21, my mind and heart were open to the point that I my brains fell out and my heart got crushed in less than ten months outside of the prison walls I had been behind. 

I thought that if I had the American Dream of the white picket fence around my first home, and a bride to fill it, then all would be well with my soul.  Wrong. 

Divorce number one loomed as I got married on February 23, 1978, and was divorced on February 14, 1979.  I wore a suit to my wedding in the church with a red rose on my lapel. 

The day of the divorce, I was alone in the courtroom, the future ex-wife was not present.  I wore the same suit with the dried flower still attached to the lapel from the day I was married.  I figured this, “If this suit was good enough for my wedding, then it is certainly good enough for my divorce.”  Great day for a divorce.  Valentines Day.  Hence the suit wearing and flower fading.  I was fading too in my walk with Jesus.  My love for Him was put on the back burner of my heart for a long time. 

Example number two: In a full-blown backslidden life, I ended up in Los Angeles in 1980 and dated my first cousin’s ex-wife.  “What kind of an idiot does that?”  You're reading about him.  Me. 

That lasted about ten months, and I realized that I was not fit for this kind of relationship after her former husband, my cousin, beat me to a pulp during a party that my other cousin threw up in Burbank.  The classic L.A. party, equipped with booze and mirrors with white powder. 

“You catch my snow drift yet?” 

I left Los Angeles after breaking her heart and found myself in Lacy, Washington in September of 1980, just a few months after Mt. St. Helens blew her top. 

Ash from the volcano was still there, and I had to navigate my life while living with my sister and her ARMY RANGER husband for a season. 

The backsliding away from my Savior Jesus was subtle at first, but the fullness of it was about to happen to me.  I was reaping what I had sowed. 

I met a guy at work, and he and I were stupid.  I should have tattooed a big red “S” on my chest representing my decision making then that had to do with looking for love.  Not Superman, but Super Stupid Joe. 

After work on Monday, I would go to the bars with my friend.  No big deal.  Just a few beers. 

Well, that turned into Tuesday nights, “Ladies Night.”  Wednesday night was two-for-one drinks, for two hours.  Thursday nights were dance until you drop night and pick up whosoever would let you go home with her.  Friday was the night I looked forward to the weekend.  Seven days a week, living like the world and hiding behind a facade of Christianity.  I was a counterfeit Christian at this point.  I was full of dead men's bones and all kinds of lawlessness.  It was a miracle I did not end up with a dozen “driving while stupid and drunk” tickets and jail again. 

Long story shorter, I stole my sister’s credit cards and jewelry and split for Idaho. 

In 1982 I married a lady with two young children, and for the next 7 years, I suffered and was tormented by the decision to get married.  Divorce number two loomed. 

Divorced in 1990.  I stopped looking for love. 

This agape love I spoke about is the only love that loves us “as is.”  It is a wonder that Jesus would take me back into His loving arms after all that insanity and addictive behavior I displayed.  Yet His loved prevailed. 

At this point I was not patient or kind.  I was jealous and boastful at the same time.  I was proud as a peacock and rude with my feathers ruffled all the time. 

I demanded my own way.  I stayed irritable and I blamed everyone around me for my stupidity.  I kept records of all the hurts people did to me, going all the way back to my childhood offenses.  I rejoiced in other’s misfortunes.  I gave up on love.  I lost my faith and was never hopeful again.  I did not endure my self-inflicted hardships very well.  I was the exact opposite of 1st Corinthians 13.  The LOVE scriptures. 

I hated myself. 

I have shared all of my personal pains from my past for a reason.  Not because I am not healed or forgiven.  I am.  I know how easily falling away from our Savior and Lord is.  It does not happen overnight.  It does not come as lightning and thunder.  It comes like a dew drop, falling on to the heart of a man or woman.  It is just a little drop of sin.  A bit of leaven.  A thought that creeps in, and then that thought grows into an act.  Then that act becomes a bit of a habit turning into a lifestyle.  That lifestyle grows and the longer we wait to repent and get our heart right with Jesus, the lifestyle of looking for love in all the wrong places become a destiny we never thought we would live out. 

Jesus warns us many times to live clean in an unclean world.  He not only warns us but gives us a way of escape when we are about to fall into a deep pit of sin.  Sin always takes us farther than we want to go and keeps us longer than we want to stay; and permanently costs us much more than we can afford to pay.  We must pay up.  It is a matter of life and death. 

The only way to dissolve the permanent stain of this sin-lifestyle is to get on our knees and cry out to Jesus. 

There is no “splendor in sin.”  If love is a many splendored thing, then it is critical to know this AGAPE love first. 

Selfless and unconditional love comes from the Cross of Calvary.  Jesus died so that we could never again start the cycle of madness called, “looking for love.” 

Look no further.  Seek no more.  Run, but do not grow weary in your quest for the truth.  He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.  Run to Jesus.  When He sees you sprinting towards Him, He always stops and turns around.  He opens his arms, complete with the nail-scarred hands.  He will embrace you.  He will keep you.  He will love you with all the Agape love you need. 

The splendor of His love.   

“The splendor of a King, clothed in Majesty.  He wraps Himself in Light, and darkness tries to hide, and trembles at His Voice, trembles at His Voice.  Age to age He stands, and time is in His hands, beginning and the end; Beginning and the end.  How great is our God?” 

I would say He is the Greatest. 

Love is a many splendored thing actually.  It is much more.  It is available to you and me.  His name if Jesus. 

I hope you have learned more in this story about “what NOT to do, rather than TO do.” 

Pretty simple.  Don’t do what I did.  Look for love in all the RIGHT places.  There is only one place to find true love.  It is not in a gift or even the amount of time you spend with those you say you love. 

 

In some small way I can hear a dog barking and a parakeet tweeting.  Just remembering what I did not have, to appreciate all I do have now.  His Name is Jesus.  I found what I have always been looking for.  The correct love relationship. 

For you?  Keep searching.  You will find Him. 

“And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”  Jeremiah 29:13. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins

Restoration Prison Ministry Newsletter, August-2025

Good day to all the partners.                                                                                                

The Oregon trip was another successful endeavor as the Lord Jesus moved upon people, both in a prison and the church services we did. 

My son went with me and did the worship in the two church services.  One on Wednesday evening, and then the other on the following Sunday morning. 

It was a powerful time of worship and singing and prayer as many came to the altar and were saved and ministered too, one on one.  I never stop until the very last soul is prayed for. 

 

On Friday the 8th of August, I traveled to Salem, Oregon to preach at the Oregon State Correctional Institution where there were around 77 men in attendance. 

Many of these men I have known for over 30 years of ministry to this prison, and several are part of the prison worship team. 

One was asking for prayer back in May when I was there for his shoulder that had an apparent rotator cuff tear in it.  Well, after the service on this Friday, he came to me and raised his left arm for the first time since his injury and we both hugged and gave Jesus the Glory for His Divine touch.  This man, I have known for over 30 years as he has a life sentence.  He is the leader of the worship team and has been the whole time I have known him. 

 

All 77 men came forward for prayer with several giving their hearts to Jesus.  As I looked out past the rows of men standing before me, I saw all the chairs empty, as the Lord wanted everyone to be a part of His Healing Mercy at the altar.  Even the two different men in wheelchairs were there to be prayed for. 

 

In the first church service in Vancouver, Washington, several people came to the altar for salvation and healing.  One was a young man who I prayed for and watched him as he cried out to Jesus for mercy in his personal repentance.  The message I preached was called “Unpacking Emotional Baggage” with a subtitle of “Grateful for My Regrets.” 

Apparently, like most of us, he unloaded the baggage of his life this evening and was beginning to be grateful for his Salvation in Christ.  The message was not about living “in” our regrets, but after Salvation, learning to be grateful “for” the regrets that led us to repentance. 

 

Sunday morning’s message was called “The Old Man and the Sea” taken after Ernest Hemingway’s book with the same title.  It was not about fishing but was about the “Old Man” prior to Jesus changing us.  

Letting go of the old man and being renewed in our spirit as Jesus saves our souls. 

 

I spoke about the resilience and fortitude the old man in the book had regarding his fight to catch the great Marlin fish.  He fought for three days to land this great fish, but sharks had devoured it before he could get it back to dry land. 

 

Like in many lives, we fight the good fight of faith in Jesus, but life and the trials it brings, can devour our faith like the sharks did to the Marlin. 

 

Just as the old man did not quit fighting for the great catch, we must never quit serving Jesus, no matter the storms of life that come. 

Many came to the altar and again, my son and I prayed for them all. 

September 7th this year, my son and his friend will accompany me to the Ferguson Prison for three services.  We expect a great harvest of souls to come in this outreach. 

As this September approaches, I am asking for prayer now for the December 7th outreach to Ferguson because we want to bless all 2,300 men there with soap and Christmas cards prior to our December date. 

It is a tradition to bring these presents as we preach another three services to win the lost to Christ. 

My son and I are grateful for all you do to support and pray for us as we go and preach Jesus to the lost and undone in prison. 

Beginning this Tuesday August 19th, I will return to the Torres Unit Prison in Hondo, Texas for my weekly class.  I have been gone to Oregon the last two Tuesdays, so it will be refreshing to get back to the men and see what the Lord will do. 

As always, thank you for all you do to further the Kingdom of God. 

Sincerely,

Joe Wilkins and Son. 

 https://www.anewthingsee.com/

The Value of Showing Up

In this world we live in, the word value can mean many different things depending on the situation.  Worth, importance or usefulness of something are just some definitions.  It can describe the monetary worth of an object, the quality of being desirable, or even the social principles a person or group holds. 

 

Monetary worth is the most common interpretation placing the amount of money something is worth or can be exchanged for.  Examples include the price of a product, the value of a house, or the market price of a company. 

 

Importance, on the other hand, refers to the degree to which something is considered desirable, useful, or important.  Examples include the true worth of an education, the worth of friendships or the integrity of a good work ethic. 

 

I want to describe something that is worth much more than money can buy, or even placing a value on a situation or experience. 

 

It is simply called “showing up.” 

 

Being there for someone who is sick.  Spending time with those who feel unlovable.  There are many simplistic examples in the scriptures which Jesus Himself spoke about regarding the “Value of Showing Up.” 

 

“Then the King will say to those on His right hand, Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.” 

 

I was naked and you clothed me. 

 

Many years ago, while living in Warrenton, Oregon, along the beach, I was a manager for a foster care home for the elderly. 

My job entailed cooking, cleaning, caring for all the needs of those who lived there.  Even if they were unable to care for themselves in some ways; I was there to meet their needs. 

 

5 elderly men in various stages of needs, were a daily, and sometimes nightly job requirement.  In reality, I was there 24 hours a day, and needed to be alert and available if any of them had a “two o'clock in the morning” bathroom need.  I had a relief worker come in two days a week to relieve me and provide the same quality care. 

 

So, like clockwork at exactly 2 a.m., this one man would scream for me.  I had monitors and devices in each room in case there was an emergency.  What happened next was an emergency, at least early on.  My room was near his, and it did not take much for me to quickly respond to any issue that could arise in the home. 

 

He was a retired British Colonel who was 92 years old.  He was born in 1893 and was in the military until he retired.  He spent the better part of 46 years in the British Navy. 

 

He would holler for me, “Joe, Mayday, MAYDAY!’ 

 

I ran to his room to find that his external catheter was removed.  He had no clothes on for obvious reasons.  I saw that he had made a mess of himself, his bed, and his entire room.  It took about an hour to clean up and put fresh sheets, pillow cases and the like to begin the process of his immediate need. 

Mopping the floor and wiping down everything in his military path was challenging.  Didn’t need any smells or disease bacteria to infiltrate his personal space. 

 

I was not a doctor or nurse, but I could do everything including C.P.R. if needed. 

 

Once all was clean and he was back in bed, he wanted to talk about his war stories from the World War he had been in.  This was 1985 when I did this job, and knowing he was 92, gave me some insight to history and that war. 

Britain declared war on Germany on September 3, 1939, after Germany invaded Poland.  The British Empire, including forces from across the Commonwealth, played a significant role throughout the war, fighting in various theaters of conflict. 

 

This precious 92 year old Colonel, had hundreds of stories, and every night around the same early hours of each morning I was ready for his battle cry.  “Mayday, MAYDAY.”

 

My response was one of sheer joy finally and I convinced him to stop messing with that external catheter.  All he really wanted was someone to “visit” him and listen to his stories.  It was no longer a job to me, it was an honor to spend time with this man who lived a life of valor and dignity.  He passed away while he was in my care from natural causes.  At times, he was “naked, and I clothed him.” 

 

“I was a stranger, and you took me in.” 

 

During the 1990’s, I spent some time in Portland, Oregon as an apartment manager for a retirement community for those who were 65 and older.  I managed 36 units and did all of the landscaping and restoration of each apartment whenever someone would move or pass away.  God had given me several divine appointments with many of the elderly residents, and I cherished them all. 

 

One, in particular stood out.

 

One of the ladies called me for a maintenance issue from a small leak from her kitchen sink. 

I arrived and fixed the problem but found that she wanted to talk.  So, I spent as much time as my job would allow and had an opportunity to pray for her.  But not in the beginning. 

 

The back story for this lady was this.  I never saw her outside when the weather was balmy or even cooler weather.  Her curtains were always closed.  Never open.  Never. 

 I hadn’t met her until this maintenance issue happened.  All of the residents had their rent checks sent directly to my office so that I did not have to collect rent or deal with the monies. 

 

This day was about to drastically change for one woman and her son. 

I had noticed on every Thursday afternoon that a man, who was probably around 40, appeared on a bicycle.  He drove it too the front door of this particular woman’s apartment.  I could see from my office this view and saw that he pulled his bicycle inside. 

 

I watched and watched as he never came out, and didn’t think anything was out of the ordinary.  It is okay to have visitors and it is none of my business who visited and when they could.  No real rules regarding residents and the occupancy of their tiny apartments. 

 

Friday morning, he would re-appear and drive away on his bicycle.  This was his routine every Thursday afternoon and Friday morning. 

 

So, once I met her through this maintenance fix, I casually asked her, “By the way Mildred, who by chance is the man who arrives every now and then on his bicycle?” 

(You would of thought I had stabbed her in her heart with her response to my casual question.) 

 

She began to cry and sob and convulse in emotional pain for over 5 minutes after my question.  Once she calmed down, I heard her story. 

 

“That is my son.  He is homeless and has been for over 30 years Joe.” 

 

She went on to tell me the thirty minute story, as she cried off and on throughout her explanations.  “When my only son was 9 years old, he was struck by an automobile while riding his bicycle.  He almost died.  As a result of his injuries, he was diagnosed with a severe brain contusion, and never fully recovered.  The doctors back then said he would never grow emotionally past the age of 9, and that came true.  My son ran away after he partially recovered and I never saw him again for all these years.   My husband and I looked and looked and tried contacting missing persons and had no success.  There was no hope of ever finding him again.” 

 

  She wept again in front of me. 

 

“I found him just after I moved in here a year ago.  A private detective found him for me.  He got on drugs and alcohol during his young life and never recovered or found purpose in life.” 

 

She continued to cry and explain that once she found him, he would not accept any help from any organization or hospital and remained to this day, on the streets of Portland. 

 

“Joe, I let him come every Thursday to clean up and take a shower and eat a meal.  We talk and cry and talk some more until it is time for him to sleep.  He always remembers me, his mother.  I let him sleep here for one night, and then he leaves on time every Friday morning.” 

 

She cried some more.  In her fear-filled voice she spoke, “The last apartment manager threatened me that if I did not stop letting him visit me, that they were going to evict me Joe.  They kept referring to the lease agreement about apartment occupancy and allowing overnight visitors and all the horrible rules that I was about to be kicked out of here for.” 

 

With a pause in her tears and voice, she stated, “I just can’t ignore him, he is my only son.” 

 

I remember on the Friday mornings, as this man left on his bicycle, that he had a small brown sack which he clutched with his right hand as he steered the bike out of the apartment complex.  She told me it was a sack lunch and that she did not want him to go hungry. 

 

Then, out of nowhere, she cried bitter tears.  She confided in me a very personal tragedy in her young life. 

 

“Joe, when I was 15, my Pastor of our church molested me, and I have never resolved this and I feel so dirty and unworthy.  I thought the church was suppose to help, but in my case, I was destroyed.  I lived with this secret all these years and never told my husband during our 60 years of marriage.  I do not know why I am telling you this, but I need to let go of all of this pain.” 

 

I led her to Jesus Christ when I prayed for her.  She stopped crying and was so thankful, that my words will not do this moment justice.  I can only write about it.  I lived it.  I watched it unfold before my very eyes that day.  

 

I said to her after the prayer, “As far as your son, he can come and go every week for as long as you need.  He is your son, and I will not say a word to anyone including my boss okay?”  As long  as he does not move in permanently, it will be our little secret!”   

 

She wept again, but with a smile on her face.   

 

It was not about a sink repair. 

It was about her son and his misfortunes.  It was also about her early years of trauma.  Only God knows her true pain. Not just the pain of a son who suffered, but for herself.  She suffered doubly.  His pain.  Her hidden pain and abuse at the hands of “A Man of the Cloth.”  It surely was not the kind of cloth that honored a religious leader.  His religious “order” was out of order, and out of the boundaries on holiness.  It was demonic. 

 

When I was done praying and gave her a hug, I left and gave God all the Glory for His intervention.   

 

The following “sunny” day in Portland, I went outside to do my outside walk around for the sprinkler system when I noticed a new thing.  At apartment 22, where my new friend was set free by Jesus the day before, her curtains were open.  She was planting flowers in her little flower bed.  Singing.  I did not catch the tune, but she waved at me as I strolled by. 

 

A true smile appeared upon her wrinkled, aged face.  As I went by, she stopped me for a moment.  She said softly, “I slept great Joe.  For the first time in many years, I have peace.” 

I smelled a sweet aroma coming from her open, living room window with the faded curtains which were wide open.  It was the smell of something delicious. 

 

She told me, “My son is coming by this afternoon.  I am baking a cake for him because it is his birthday.” 

 

I smiled at her and she winked back and stated, “It is his 9th birthday Joe.  My husband, when he was alive; both of us always use to celebrate it as his 9th because (even though he disappeared) and we could never find him, we celebrated as if he was here again.   

He does not remember anything after that car hit him.  He was hit by the car on his 9th birthday over three decades ago.  It was a brand new bike back then.  It was his birthday present.  He does not remember a thing, but he knows today is his “cake day” and he will be here soon. 

 

She winked at me.  

 

I said, “What man?”  I don’t know about any man on a bike, do you?”   

 

She winked again and went back to singing softly. 

 

I was a stranger and you took me in. 

 

She passed away about two months later. 

 

No one came to take her belongings.  Everything was donated or thrown away.  I cleaned her apartment after all of this happened.  I painted and filled holes where pictures hung for years. 

I checked all of the plumbing to make sure everything worked properly. 

 

As I opened the kitchen cupboard where the sink is, I paused. 

It was because of a small leak in a drain that brought her and I together. 

It was a confession and a bunch of tears that brought the healing. 

 

It was a prayer that caused an eternity in Heaven to be populated with one more soul.  A reminder.  A simple reminder. 

I am glad I showed up for that woman and her emotionally starved, 9-year-old grown man that day.  I am grateful for an old Colonel in the British Navy. 

Even more profound is the fact that Jesus Christ showed up.  He always shows up for the broken hearted and the wounded in this life. 

 

Value.  “What price tag shall we give to those who are never appreciated?”   

One thing is for certain in this life. 

 

Jesus Christ appreciates us.  He loves us.  He cares about us.  He shows up and is never late. 

 

Perhaps the next time we see a grown man on an old bicycle who himself looks undone, we might remember this story.  Everyone who is homeless has a story of how they got there. 

 

“Mayday. MAYDAY!”  It is battle time. 

 

Go to war on your knees in prayer.  If you do, you will realize Who will show up.  Fact is, Jesus is always there whether we realize it or not.    

 

There is value in showing up.  We have to go forward to show up.  Can’t go backwards.  There is nothing back there of any value. 

 

Well, maybe an old rusty bicycle.  Or a few old World War II Navy medals earned the hard way. 

 

Life.  Your life.  It counts.  No matter the circumstances.  In God’s Eyes, you will always be valued.  You are priceless in the heart of the One who places value on you showing up. 

 

He is waiting for you to open your curtains and let the SON-shine in. 

 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins