Forgive, Forget and Let Go

“HE is more than enough”

 

The title of this is a mouthful and very challenging if we try and do things the Bible way.  As human beings, the difficulty is in our memory. 

How do we truly release past hurts by choosing forgiveness?    

First, we must be forgiven my Jesus through repentance and believing on His Name.   

Releasing is a process of elimination.  This does not mean erasing our memories but rather releasing bitterness and letting God handle justice.  We must eliminate the roadblocks to our healing. 

Biblical principles show God’s complete forgiveness for us, and His Word will encourage processing our pain, trusting God to heal, and not allowing resentment to control our lives.  If not handled properly, we will have stunted, spiritual growth.  In fact, we will stop growing and wither on the vine.  That withering will lead to death in our spirit and will cause physical and emotional disease to creep in many times. 

Jeremiah 31: 34 declares, “No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the Lord.  For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” 

Let us unpack this scripture.   

This scripture is directed regarding the prophesy about a new covenant that God will make with Israel.  This new covenant is characterized by God writing His laws on the heart of His people, resulting in an internal desire to obey.  God promises a personal relationship where everyone will know Him, their iniquity will be forgiven, and their sins will be remembered no more. 

It is important not to isolate this text from its context.  The new covenant is to be accompanied by a repopulation of the land and a rebuilding of Jerusalem.  This promise is given to a dispirited people in exile.  Unless the new covenant is God’s promise for this specific group of people, it then, is a promise for no one else. 

Israel must repent. 

What does this have to do with forgiveness and forgetting and letting go? 

Forgiveness allows for a personal freedom from the past, a necessary act for spiritual well-being, and a reflection of God’s grace, rather than a sign of weakness or reconciliation. 

Paul spoke to this in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” 

Paul had many things to let go of regarding his past trials, yet he had perspective of the big picture.  The Cross. 

Past, present and our future.   

Every one of us has all three.   

These questions will remain for all of mankind.  “Are we letting past hurts, and disappointments and pains rule our current life?  Are we bound and under spiritual attack, and do not know that we are?  Is letting God have our pain difficult because we really do not believe He can set us free?  Is our faith in Him based on trust, or hoping for the best outcome?  Is my fear of the unknown keeping me from living in peace?” 

None of those questions are easy to answer. 

Forgiveness is for you, not them: 

Forgiving someone is the only way to set yourself free from the burden of resentment and bitterness.  Notice something.  “Set yourself free.”  It is up to you as much as it is to God to make the decision to be bitter or better.  Once you determine to let go, then God can intervene and help you with His mercy, grace and power to overcome your past. 

Forget isn’t about memory: 

It’s about not letting the past control your present actions or feelings, rather than a complete erasure of the memory.  God “forgets” our sins by not holding them against us, a concept we are called to emulate.  We think we have no power to forgive and forget, yet we have the Holy Spirit living inside us to accomplish His will and in His way.  Our power to forgive is not the same as Jesus forgiving us by dying.  We do not have that resurrection power, but we do have the power of being led by the Spirit of God to let go, once and for all, the things that are currently hindering our growth in Him. 

Letting go frees you: 

Holding onto hurts weighs you and I down and prevents us from living a full life in Christ.  Releasing the pain allows for healing and future growth.  Memories are exactly that.  Memories.  We all have them.   

The key for me was to recognize how my memory attentions and thoughts were coming and then to recognize that memory for what it was.  Number one: I choose not to live in that memory if it was a bad one, only if I let myself dwell on it.   

At some point we must “cast down the images or imaginations that try to exalt themselves above the knowledge of God, bringing every thought (memories too) into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.”  2nd Corinthians 10:5. 

Imagine with me for a moment a certain trigger or memory arrives in our mind, and it was because of a certain smell or scene we watched in real life, or even something on television that reminds us of a memory from the past.  Even as far back as childhood.  Visiting the old neighborhood where we lived as a child.  Memories.  Going to the cemetery to lay flowers on the grave of a loved one.  Memories. 

It is at that very moment it happens that we should cast it down in prayer and release ourselves from that attack, especially if it is a memory of pain and hurt. 

It is our responsibility, not God’s, to cast it down.  It is part of life, and life is not fair at times for sure.  No one, especially me, is saying, “Oh, just get over it.”  I am simply saying that we must use the Word of God for what it is.  An instruction manual on how to live this Christian life.  No matter what, we either grow, or we wither. 

Keeping in mind some of us fight sickness and disease and some do not.  Some live long, productive lives, and some die early.  Earlier than we expected.  (Noting the fact my mother died when I was 15 and my daddy was murdered when I was 18.)  Bad memories. 

God has a way of intervening when we do not have the strength to overcome on our own.   

I lived this supernatural strength from the Most High many years ago. 

Nightmares of my past, especially the prison life I lived in 1976 haunted me for years after prison.  There would be times I would dream at night so vividly that it seemed it was happening all over again.  Suddenly waking in a cold sweat and screaming out loud.   

“But it is your past?”  Well, I did not know then how to pray and use God’s Word to my benefit and for my deliverance. 

All the way from 1976 through 1992, I had nightmares at least two times a week.  Consistently. 

I would pray, seek help at times, and read the Bible to no avail. 

I lived with a certain family for a short season, and the first several nights, I had a bed on the couch in the living room.  But I was reliving the nightmares of my childhood traumas and prison to the point that I would wake up and find myself in the entry way of the front door into the living room.  Not on the couch that I fell asleep on.  It was totally demonic.  It was like sleepwalking to the front door wanting to escape so badly that I was trying to leave the very solitude given to me. 

As time went on, I graduated to the couch, and then into my own bedroom.  I did not spend time in a prayer line at a church.  I did not anoint myself with oil.  All I did was pray and pray some more.  Eventually, the nightmares left and never returned. 

The only time I have a dream of prison now is when I am preaching in prison the Gospel of Jesus.  That dream is a reality that I have been doing for almost 40 years.  Not dreaming it.  Living it.  I am living the dream.   

HIS dream. 

Not the American dream.  I am living proof of God transforming a life that once was lost.  I give Him all the Glory for using a former wretch like me. 

I have not had a real nightmare from my past in over 35 years.  Not even once. 

The Lord Jesus has set me free, and I did not know exactly when He did it.  It is His mercy and grace. 

I see true forgiveness as a conscious choice to stop suffering from another’s actions, not a command to erase the memory of the offense. 

Bitterness destroys: 

Unresolved anger and bitterness can destroy the person holding onto it, affecting their thoughts, and how they process the thoughts.  Their feelings get damaged in their emotional state which they become no longer able to view the world around them in any positive light. 

We choose what we lose.  It is a conscious and deliberate action on our part to say, “I am done with living this way, and I will not let my past and the memories it holds, rule and reign in my heart and mind any longer.” 

Only prayer and a direct touch from the Holy Spirit can provide the power needed for you or me to truly “overcome by the Blood of the Lamb (Jesus) and then have the word of our testimony” prevail over our pasts.   

Sometimes we get so exhausted re-living the past that even a good night’s sleep will not stop the torment.  We do have an enemy of our souls who would love nothing better than to steal, kill and destroy what is left of our lives. 

We can get better, once bitterness leaves our soul. 

Acknowledge and process the pain: 

Only allow yourself to feel the emotions related to your past hurts in the presence of God.  Worship and pray and speak His Word over your life, and during this, remind yourself of those hurts that have hindered you, and at the same moment, cast them all under your feet where they belong.  Pulverized.  All of this takes time, and the resolve and resolute evidence will come as the “joy of the Lord Jesus.”  You will experience your freedom in the way the Lord Jesus has planned for you.  He is not a cookie-cutter God. 

It is not God’s intention for His children to live on a rollercoaster of emotions daily. 

Trials come and trials go.  The question will remain steadfast in our souls.  “Am I free, or am I seeking freedom?”  Both are good. 

It is when we stop believing for freedom, is when we die in our spirit. 

Trusting God’s justice for your life is paramount to the freedom journey we are all on.  Justice may not seem attainable until we are in Heaven.  It makes no sense that some wicked people seem to prosper and be happy while some Christians are miserable and broke. 

 

I have been in many trials.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ is not just about justice.  It is about forgiveness in the justice process.  Like court.  Guilty or not guilty.  Freedom or incarceration.  The results of the trial are mostly found within the evidence presented to the judge. 

I only trust the process if it is laced with God’s will for my life.  He is not a Savior waiting to hit you and me with His rod of correction.  “Thy rod and Thy staff comforts” me, the 23rd Psalm alludes to. 

Ask yourself a question after reading this.   

“If I, as a believer in Jesus and have been born again according to John 3: 3; live a miserable broken-hearted Christian life, then how can I have my brokenness healed?  What do I do?  How do I do it?  Who can I trust to get me through this hurricane-style storm of pain and hurt that haunts me daily?” 

I do not have all the answers why good people suffer.  I know this world is going from order to disorder rapidly.  It is part of God’s redemption plan through Christ. 

I do know this.  Jesus Christ loves all of us the same.  He does not show partiality in His love and grace.  He wants the best for us while we are on this earth.  He simply calls us to be His servant. 

However, like Paul, I have learned to be contented with little, and with much. 

Contentment begins in the heart.  Peace flourishes within the trials when we know WHO is in the boat with us as the raging storms of life hit us unexpectedly. 

Jesus forgives.  Jesus Saves.  Jesus holds not even one drop of His shed Blood to Himself.  He gave it all.  All to Him I owe.  My sin has left a crimson stain; He washes it white as snow. 

Forgive, forget and let go?  Easier said than done.  We all must start somewhere. 

I love the old saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over, expecting different results.” 

Nothing wrong with our routine in serving the Master Jesus.  Spiritually keep doing what works and leads you to the freedom He offers all of us. 

If we are forgiven by Him, then we can forget our pasts.  We can forgive those who have played a part in our misery.  Letting go takes time. 

None of us are whole yet.  We won’t be completely whole until we are with Him. 

The journey is hard.  The roads are rocky at times.  The outcomes do not always play out the way we want.  We must pray.  If we stop praying, then we will not forgive, forget or let go.  Ever.  Never. 

If prayer does not work, then why do we keep praying?  Well, prayer does work in God’s timing, not ours.  I keep praying for freedom for those who may read this.  He waits for you to pray.  He has a pardon for you from your pain. 

He is the ultimate vindicator. 

“He is the Lord and God has highly exalted Him and has given Him the name that is above every name, and every knee should bow, of those in Heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father.”  Philippians 2: 9-11. 

Your freedom lies at the foot of the Cross.  Wait no longer in your pain.  Confess Him as Lord.  Ask for forgiveness, even while you are in pain.  He will heal you.  He will forgive you.  It is His nature.  It is what He does.  He does it best. 

I can’t and would not try and live anyone’s life.  He chose me to bear fruit.  Fruit that remains.  I do not make light of your current storm and your on-going pain.  Keep fighting the good fight of faith and lay hold of eternal life which is yours in Christ Jesus. 

If there were easy answers to life and all the calamity it offers, then we would all get on board that ship. 

All I know is what I have lived thus far. 

I have fought the good fight of faith.  I have overcome much.  Not all, but many things. 

I did not do any of it on my own.  Jesus Christ was with me guiding me even when I did not feel His presence. 

Deuteronomy 31: 6 declares, “Be strong (in HIM) and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them (anything) for the Lord your God goes with you, and He will never leave you or forsake (abandon) you.” 

I believe this, and I hold this scripture in my heart for myself, and for you. 

Winners never quit, and quitters never win. 

I choose to rely on Jesus, whether I win or not.  Life is not a game we play.  Life is a journey to His nail-pierced hands. 

Be strong.  Stay strong in Him.  He is enough.  He is more than enough. 

Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins