This predator has defense mechanisms but is also very offensive when it comes to the need to eat. Resembling a jellyfish in some ways, it has up to 100 feet of tentacles, hanging underneath it as it floats on the top of the water’s surface.
It can deliver a powerful sting, yet not normally deadly to humans. “I am glad of that, but I do not swim in the ocean.”
Men, on the other hand, have defense mechanisms too which can be deadly as far as the way they speak to people. Screaming at your wife never makes for peace in the home.
Let us talk about men and their vulnerabilities in the area of the sad facts about some men. Not all men, especially men of War.
Most men are expected to “stay strong” even when they’re breaking apart inside their soul.
Many men suffer in silence because society often discourages them from showing emotion. This is a fact in the prisons I preach in. Any signs of emotion, especially tears, can result in being labeled weak. That can be deadly inside a maximum-security prison like the one I lived in during 1976-1977 in Texas.
Men are less likely to seek help for mental health struggles due to fear of being judged or labeled. Again, labeled weak or frail. They become prey for the stronger men in prison and are “stinged” by tentacles that reach them via several species of a man o’ war like that Portuguese predator. I know all about the predatory skills of psychotic men in prison.
A lot of men feel unloved unless they provide or perform. Some men grow up without ever hearing, “I am proud of you son.” I ought to know. It only happened once to me by my Daddy the day before he was murdered.
This is why I purposely say to men in prison or out of prison when I minister the Gospel, that “God is proud of you, or I am proud of you for your commitment to Christ at the altar.” I feel their pain many times as they lean their tear-filled faces upon my shoulder and weep like a little boy. Sometimes for several minutes as the Lord Jesus is healing their broken hearts.
Men face pressure to be a good provider, even when they’re struggling to do so.
I will tell a story soon about my struggle in this area.
Men also crave affection but sometimes rarely receive it from those who say they love him. Society often overlooks men’s pain, labeling them weak if they speak up about their pain and struggles.
Many men feel alone, even when surrounded by a crowd of their peers or even in their own homes. It is called, “being alone in the midst of a crowd.” A sermon I have preached many times.
It seems that I am spending too much time on this negative part of men, yet I must clarify some things. Societal norms discourage emotional expression for the traditional masculine ideals which can cause men to suppress emotions like sadness and can lead them to feel that they must appear “strong” and “in control.” This can lead to shame, social isolation, and an inability to deal with feelings in a healthy way.
I will share my experience which speaks to many of the before-mentioned weaknesses.
Going to prison at age 20 brought many emotions to me. I was a violent drug addicted felon, yet I had a broken heart from all of my childhood traumas.
In the Dallas County Jail, prior to going to prison, I had to learn to toughen-up or become a victim of all the insane games played in jail. Prison is a whole new environment compared to the County Jail. In the jail environment you have petty thieves, burglars, car thieves, and the like. I was in the same holding tank as these minor offenders. Along with me, there were also ones like me. I was in jail for attempted murder and 5 other aggravated charges. Therefore, I was deemed a “strong-arm” because of my conviction for violence.
This fish tank of various species, and their crimes, were a bit easier to survive assaults due to the fact of such close quarters. The entire tank that I was living in prior to prison was approximately 25 feet wide and 30 feet deep. There was a small day room attached to the cells. Maximum capacity was around thirty men. However, during the Christmas Holiday, we suffered through over-crowding with men sleeping on the floor of the day room making the overall count upwards to 55 men. Horrible conditions. Not much room for fist-fighting.
Prison, on the other hand, had many places to fight, kill and rape men.
I toughened up alright. I had to live and not die. Especially once I arrived in a prison which held 2,300 men.
That was then, and this is now.
In 2010 I lived in poverty. Not because I was not working hard. I was. It was such a lean time for me, my wife and my two young sons. This “ramen noodle” era that I like to call it, was difficult.
Daddy worked hard, but no matter how hard I tried, I just could not make enough to support my family in the way they needed it.
Enter shame and guilt. I felt it, and lived in it, without saying a word to my family. They could see I was tired. They could tell I was worn out with the work I was doing in construction at 55 years old.
They prayed for me and loved me despite my efforts or lack of making enough money to fix teeth and eat good.
Enter the “man of war.” My hidden pains did several good things in my suffering. I learned to fight in prayer on my knees. A different war that men (and women) fight, without going overseas with a rifle to battle a real enemy.
Isaiah 40:29, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
I needed several, divine moments from Jesus to keep going. This period lasted for 11 years. Poverty, as far as the world estimates the poverty level, showed me earning less than $12,000 a year. That was the most I earned all the way to 2021.
Jesus gave me power. His power. His grace, and His mercy through these lean times.
2 Corinthians 12: 9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast even more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Well, I did not boast in my suffering, but Jesus showed up and helped me all the way through. Psalm 27: 7, “the Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts Him and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.”
I certainly did not sing much, but my heart was filled with His presence. Despite what the former dialogue I spoke about regarding “Sad Facts” in men, Jesus shows up right on time.
My suffering years with my family kept me praying. I prayed more then, and even now that I am no longer in that station in this life, I pray. I pray with more thanksgiving in my heart than I ever have. Not because God changed. I changed. He changed me. His love and mercy were granted to me in the middle of my storms in life.
In fact, He rescued me while in prison even though I had not surrendered to Him yet. This is the grace of God for me, and for you if you will cry out to Him.
Just because statistics say women outlive men in this world does not prove anything to me. I am going to live as long as Jesus wants me to keep preaching to “MEN” in prisons.
“What is a Man of War?”
It is a man who bows down to no one. He lets his actions speak louder than his words. He does not repay evil for evil. He learns to be slow to speak and not quick to strike out.
He endeavors to be patient and kind rather than the opposite.
He loves the unlovely. He weeps with those who weep. Especially in prison. Every week I am in prison, around 50 miles from our home. Explaining to these men who, like me, deserved to be there. They may have a number instead of a name, but Jesus knows their name, their birthright, and their hearts. My job in the Lord is to explain His Word to them and let them know they are loved. Just showing up to be with them for two hours speaks volumes to many of these incarcerated felons. Jesus sees potential. And so, do I.
A man of war is a man who never retreats in battle. He is never labeled “chicken or traitor.”
He fights. He does not always win the battle, but he will win the ultimate war to keep him from being labeled a son of perdition. Men of war who love Jesus, will never enter or be doomed to eternal destruction like Judas. (John 17:12.)
He is not a man of lawlessness like the Antichrist. (2nd Thessalonians 2: 3). I may have fought the law in my twenties and found out that they always win, but I never went back to prison because Jesus Christ changed me. Completely.
I want to keep my allegiance to God and His plan for my life. The plan of Salvation versus the plan of destruction.
A man of war knows the outcome of the battle before it perches on his porch and affects his entire family.
He must fight it off in prayer before it infects the ones he loves. Seems like a bunch of responsibility for a man. It is. It was designed by God to be a heavy cross to bear. The alternative is to just go along for the ride and be like the world. Corrupt and dying.
Count the costs to be a Christian. A Christ follower. He will never allow too much to come upon you that He won’t make a way of escape. Not just in temptations, but in trials. You will overcome even though your pain seems too much to bear.
Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I feel like I have had my share of troubles in the 69 years of life. I am not discounted or protected fully from trials. Fact is, He rescued me and protected me long before I was saved by Jesus.
Now, He is ever-present with me. Carrying the load and fighting my battles for me at times.
So, “MAN OF WAR?”
What say you? I despise these sayings. Included are: “At the end of the day.”
Well, at the end of your life and mine, what shall we say? Real men don’t cry? I cry.
Are you living large and strong when you do not have the strength to?
Are you and I having a bout of the blues? Especially in reaction to losses, setbacks, and disappointments?
If so, look to Jesus and remember what he went through for us. He suffered more in 33 years than we will ever suffer in perhaps 77 years on average in this life.
Perspective. We are not dying to save anyone like Jesus did. He does not want you to die but to live for Him and love Him the best you know how.
I have shared a few of the real-life episodes I have endured. You have your own story to tell. Here is a fact of life for you, and for me.
Either you start your story in writing one of two ways.
One: “A long time ago, it was a dark and stormy night, in a land far away. The waves of the ocean billowed and crashed against my boat. The lightning struck and the thunder roared.”
Two: “A while back, things seemed difficult and my dreams were like a ship in the ocean. Yes, it did rain and the lightning was bright, and the thunder was loud. But during my storm, I met Jesus and He calmed the storm in my life. He is there for me. He will never leave me or forsake me.”
Either way you start your story, it is okay. The main thing is that your story ends right.
You and I are not a venomous, marine creature. We are not predators nor are we prey for the villains in life and the devils from hell that are trying to steal and kill and destroy your life. We can be men and women of God.
Men? You are and will be a man of war. Just remember to fight your battles on your knees in prayer.
I am determined to pray. I’d rather talk to Jesus. It is better to pray than to “be” prey.
Copyright © 2025 by Joe Wilkins
