Aspect Ratio:

I hate Math.

Let me just put that right out there.

It was bad enough, doing long division on the blackboard, in front of the class.

I was stressed about “remainders,” carrying a 1 here, a 5 over there.

 

And then, with Junior High, Algebra.

Now we are mixing numbers with letters?

“X’s?” “Y’s?” “A’s” and “B’s,” dominantly featured, in lowercase?

Now there are equations.

 

Not long ago, two words popped into my head: “aspect ratio.”

I have no reason to entertain these words. I am an adult, long removed from the days of torturous Math and Algebra class. I didn’t pursue any degree in college where, according to consensus, I would use Algebra again.

I’m a “word girl.”

Writing. Not solving equations.

Or, as cliché as it sounds, “so I thought.”

 

Aspect Ratio.

Its definition?

A noun, “the ratio of the width to the height of an image or screen,” as one definition listed.

“The aspect ratio of a geometric shape is the ratio of its sizes in different dimensions. For example, the aspect ratio of a rectangle is the ratio of its longer side to its shorter side—the ratio of width to height,[1][2] when the rectangle is oriented as a "landscape."

Ah! Geometry! Great!

Way too close to Algebra Land for my liking.

And still, furthermore…

“The aspect ratio is most often expressed as two integer numbers separated by a colon (x:y), less commonly as a simple or decimal fraction. The values x and y do not represent actual widths and heights but, rather, the proportion between width and height.”

 

REALLY? Seriously, what IS it about Algebra, anyway?

 

There is a theory which states that Art and Math are closely connected.

I squirm about that, but yes, even in my high school Art Class days, I could see some formulas, some geometric reality, having its impact on dimensions, ergo, Math.

The closest I came to it?

 

Learning about the concept and the definition of Perspective:

“Two seemingly parallel lines meet at a vanishing point on the horizon.”

 

An art class project, when I was a sophomore had the class draw, with rulers in tow, the high school’s hallway. A big part of this assignment involved capturing the lockers as they, indeed, “vanished,” at a certain point on the horizon.

The drawing of this hallway had everything center on the one lone window at the end of that hallway.

Lockers became slivers.

Mathematical slivers, depicting height, width, and depth.

And so, yes, I have discovered Math impacting Art.

 

And Art impacting… Faith?

 

Here is where I have found myself, intimidated by His love, like I was intimidated by Algebra, and those perspective sliver lockers.

 

Here is where that spiritual confrontation on Faith exists for me.

 

That addresses another perspective equation, perhaps, bringing some bumps and trauma to life, like those notorious Math classes and sliver lockers of yore.

 

“May have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”

Ephesians 3:18

Wide:

My dad’s narrow hug.

Yes, I have Daddy Issues.

My childhood was abusive, filled with his explosive rages, controlling, stifling grip… and his neglect.

There were no hugs with my dad.

None.

There was an explicit understanding that I could not- and should not- go near him for those gestures of physical affection.

He rejected me, largely because I was female, and an only child.

No sons to carry on with his name.

Maybe he believed there was no legacy for a girl.

He may never have had the language to articulate that. He didn’t need to. The absence of loving hugs screamed loud enough.

Years ago, upon being newly engaged to my husband, I brought my fiancée home to meet my dad. I was almost feeling good about the state of my life, as good, I guess, as my moodier temperament could allow.

And so, I did the unthinkable. I initiated a hug with my dad.

And here, even though I didn’t know it at the time, was where I learned a lesson about narrow and wide.

My dad froze, on contact, with my hug.

I could feel his discomfort and disdain. He wanted nothing to do with this physical affection from me.

His response was narrow. He tightened up the entire duration of my hug.

I quickly pulled away. I knew the score.

Stop it.

And pretend it never happened.

So, spiritually, it should come as no shock to anyone that I’m challenged with that same view of The Most High’s “narrow” love for me.

No, it’s not His Nature. His Love defies explanation, definition, or understanding.

Yet, we mere mortals, at least, this this mere mortal, struggles with the narrow hug component of The Almighty’s Love, both with, and without, Our Savior.

It’s perspective, yes, my faulty perspective, at that.

And maybe, that should automatically get me booted out of the club.

But it doesn’t.

Over time, I am learning the newer dimensions and equations concerning the Width of His Love.

 

Survivors of abuse and trauma often involuntarily need to attend Master classes in such subject matters. Love, especially expressed through physical touch, is… tricky and painful. We only seem to know narrow, stifling, neglectful, harmful representations of it.

 

Notice the Scripture, then, before you, the fellow individual, struggling in this area, berates yourself too much…

“May have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people...”

Ephesians 3:18

There’s more than one of us out there.

More than one of us who has experienced the absence of loving hugs, the narrow and painful kinds of hugs that were only communicating rejection and harm.

There is more than one of us who is grappling with the painful Aspect Ratio of this devastating equation.

And there’s still more challenging dimensions to explore, aren’t there?

 

Again, for me, I was additionally challenged by the concept of length, as it pertains to love, specifically, His Love…

 

Long:

For me, length equals painful history.

My past? Not so distant.

Long, long ago…

 

When you and I hear that phrase, what comes up?

 

It’s probably not something positive. It probably has regret, pain, and failure attached to it. Maybe death and loss.

And even though it happened “a long time ago,” it still doesn’t, necessarily, instill a sense of closure or peace.

I can only speak for myself here.

I am grappling with Peace, as I face the length of things, things that maybe were supposed to be loving, but were more complicated, harsh, and painful than that.

Nothing captures that like good old death, huh?

Grief. Grieving.

An aggressive and excruciating state of being.

I am freshly into the latest incarnation of it right now.

My mother died late last year.

 

“Objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are.”

Not just concerning automobiles. Us. Our lives. Our memories.

Within this equation, there exists, again, perspective.

Two, seemingly, parallel lines, then and now, meeting together at a vanishing point, on the horizon?

 

But there is more to this?

Lowercase “x’s” and “y’s,” forming fractions and “story problems.”

Remember those, from childhood?

 

Maybe I’m dating myself, but story problems were a part of Math classes, in the third and fourth grade.

Not quite the dreadful confusion of Algebra, later.

Nevertheless, there was a more complicated essay/riddle component built into these “Math Problems.”

Trying to promote the child’s critical thinking. Trying to get them to examine further.

Much like, now, within our adult lives, when we self-reflect.

Most of the time, let’s be real.

Self-reflection involves painful and negative stuff, not the good times.

It is called “story problems” for a reason, right?

Length. Lengthy.

Endless, seemingly.

The duration of pain just keeps going, doesn’t it?

Grief captures length in an overwhelming way.

 

Scripture has much to say about grief and loss.

But, for now, let’s zero in on the spiritual length of His love…

“May have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how…long…is the love of Christ.”

Ephesians 3:18

It’s centuries long, literally.

Yahshua died on the Cross centuries ago.

Yet, even before that eternity-changing reality, The Most High loved us for a long time.

“In the beginning…”

Genesis 1:1

Try that long ago.

Hence, later, John 3:16…

“For (The Most High) loved the world so much, that He gave His only begotten Son, that that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

 

Many of us are confounded by the lengthy duration of painful life and past experiences, including grief.

Beyond a literal death, the past does represent loss.

After all, it is not here and now actively, in the physical sense.

 

But emotionally?

That’s a different story. A lengthy story.

 

Where are you, in yours?

 

I am slogging my way through mine.

I’m actively learning about the length of His Love. Making my way through the story problem.

 

Still more aspect ratio equation fun to be had?

 

How about height?

High:

How about a short stature dream from my adolescence?

When I was 18, I dreamt I kept standing on different chairs, of differing heights.

And each time I stood on top of one of these pieces of furniture, a voice from “someone” declared,

“No, still not tall enough.”

 

I am 5 foot 3, currently.

I say that, because, once upon a time, I was a towering 5 foot 4.

Because of aging, I am shrinking. I have dashed hopes of being 5’10.

I cannot even meet that dashed hope of 5’5.

Thumbelina is my increasing reality.

 

Short people are often a bit sensitive about the Height issue. It goes beyond aesthetics, although, yes, we have aspirational, attractive Glamazon Supermodels 5’10 and upward, for a reason.

Practically, there are challenges with reaching things. I have a step stool in our home, not because I have always desired to have one. I need one.

To get things on high shelves when there is no one taller than me around.

Height is a challenging thing.

We, vertically challenged people, can often get hyper focused on the deficit we see from our vantage point. We do not feel we can reach adequately.

And that spreads from literal, to emotional, mental, and self-assessment views.

However, The Most High also has a reach, a perspective, and equation, filling in vanishing points and mathematical impossibilities.

His Aspect Ratio is in full effect…

“May have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how…high… is the love of Christ.”

Ephesians 3:18

Height can speak to “being good enough.”

It is about measuring up, in some facet.

Think about when our parents measured our height changes on a wall, marking “the progress.”

What if we discover, one day, we are not rising in height, in progress?

What if we are even shrinking in this height, this stature of perceived value?

 

Well, try on 2 Corinthians 12:9, for size…

“His Strength- (His Height)- is made perfect in out weakness.”

 

 

Am I taking liberties with Scripture?

Hopefully not.

I see, through the measurement of Height, value and His Love, that He picks up where we leave off.

So, I am 5’3. I want to be 5’10.

Literal height issues, not much can be done there, barring a Divine Intervention growth spurt.

 

But spiritually? Involving His Love?

He knows that my faith is… petite.

Short.

Maybe even miniscule.

5’3, on a good day.

So, He fills in the height difference. Maybe He even adds a few inches…

“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.”

Ephesians 3:20

Now I am 6’5.

 

So, there’s been all kinds of measurement going on. Dimensions, numbers, equations, and theories are flying around.

We feel like the student in a Math class, in an Art class, in a Bible Study, perhaps.

Maybe we just feel like someone in the corner with a Dunce Cap on.

 

What does our knowledge mean to us?

How substantial is it, really?

 

Here’s now, where we arrive at another form of estimation.

Is it, or is it not “that deep?”

 

Deep:

I learned, wrongly so, at an early age, that I should avoid being vulnerable; it was only “weakness.”

Exposing the unflinching truth was to be avoided. It only promotes attack.

There’s no love to be found in vulnerable truth.

JUST DON’T GO THERE.

Surface level, only. No one deals with the Truth.

Since my cancer diagnosis years ago, I have become more open with others. Discussing more things that are not “pretty.”

Exposing my weak, pathetic self, I guess?

How much more, then, with the Sovereign Creator of all?

 

This is not to proclaim how spiritual and together I am.

It spotlights quite the opposite, in fact.

Most, if not all, of the time.

Pathetic. Needy. “In too deep” with ugliness, vile, unflattering portraiture.

 

Quite an equation. I would welcome some Algebra, in that reality.

Maybe, I desperately theorize, it could distract me.

 

But deep does not work like that.

Depth only seems to submerge more.

At least, I feel more submerged.

Drowning.

Not a pep talk, is it?

But is it real? Is it deep?

Is it Him?

“May have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how… deep is the love of Christ.”

Ephesians 3:18

I am trying to understand this Spiritual Math.

Faith slivers uncomfortably replace lockers from my high school art assignment. There is not even a reprieve in Art’s answers.

There are no other subjects or classes to take.

I am left with… Faith.

Intimidating equations that challenge, confront, and dismantle my so-called problem-solving abilities.

It’s called His Love.

His Aspect Ratio.

Sometimes, it’s incredibly painful and overwhelming.

Still, somehow, I am learning His Math.

“Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of The Most High that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:39

Copyright © 2025 by Sheryle Cruse